The Artifact (2008) User Reviews

I don't even know why I'm giving this a "2"

[xzaviar44 · 2/10 · 10 October 2018]

Some post College friends got together and decided to make a movie. 90% Talking about their lives and jobs. 5% Talking about the "Artifact". 5% Future "Soccer - Mom" Halloween make-up "Woman gone mad" scene. They probably had fun making the movie. Kudos for getting it on Amazon Prime! Shame on Amazon Prime.

My Breakfast With Surburbanites

[ShillingSide · 1/10 · 15 September 2018]

The first 30 minutes of this are a bunch of people making small talk as they make, then consume, breakfast. Then there's some filler with a lot of screaming kids at a restaurant or something. Then there's 20+ minutes of pumpkin carving. Literally nothing happens until the last 10 minutes, and it's lame. Lamer than lame. They are supposed to be archeologists looking at an artifact their grandfather sent them "from a dig" - they open it in their living room. Standing up. They pass it around. Real careful-like and sciency The budget was $400, of which I would estimate $50 for the pumpkins and $350 for the breakfast fixin's. Spend a morning at Denny's in a suburban neighbourhood and go have this movie.

Shamefully bad

[Leofwine_draca · 1/10 · 18 October 2018]

THE ARTIFACT is another horrible indie horror film with nothing to recommend it at all. It's a static effort that follows a bunch of friends around. They eat dinner for half an hour then carve pumpkins for half an hour. There's a brief, horror-related incident at the climax, and then it ends. What can I say? This is shamefully bad, embarrassing to sit through.