The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)

The Great Petrie Fortune (1965)

Dick Van Dyke: Rob Petrie, Hezekiah Petrie

Quotes 

• [after first checking that he's alone, Rob attempts to see if Uncle Hezekiah's old oil lamp is in fact Aladdin's lamp. He rubs it then carefully open the top lid] 

  Laura Petrie : [having come up behind him unheard]  Yes?

  Rob Petrie : [nearly jumping out of his skin]  OH!

• [Everybody looks through old coins for a buffalo on a plain rather than on a mound, with no luck] 

  Buddy Sorrell : Hey, I got one.

  Rob Petrie : There's a buffalo on a... on a plain?

  Buddy Sorrell : No, the plane left. He's on a bus.

• Rob Petrie : An hour ago I was a writer. Now I'm a termite.

• Laura Petrie : It's the biggest... I mean the very biggest diamond I've ever seen in my whole life!

  Rob Petrie : Where? Next to this glass doorknob?

• Hezekiah Petrie : Robbie, last time I saw you, you must have been, oh, thirteen years old.

  Rob Petrie : [talking back to the screen]  I was twelve.

  Hezekiah Petrie : No, twelve years old.

  Rob Petrie : What's the difference?

  Hezekiah Petrie : Oh, what difference does it make?

• Hezekiah Petrie : [his riddle]  In what you inherit are riches beyond compare, so get in there, and-and ferret here, there, and everywhere.

• Rob Petrie : There's a lotta little cubby holes. There's no cubbies in it.

• Rob Petrie : Honey, those aren't just marbles.

  Laura Petrie : What do you mean?

  Rob Petrie : Well, they're all puries.

• Rob Petrie : We got three wishes! Aladdin's Lamp!

  Laura Petrie : I wish you'd stop acting so silly.

  Sally Rogers : Oh, I wish you'd open it!

  Laura Petrie : Come on!

  Rob Petrie : I wish you'd all be quiet! That's three wishes. We just blew it.

• Rob Petrie : Buddy, a numismatist is a coin expert.

  Buddy Sorrell : Oh. Well, these are old coins. Get an oldmismatist.

• Laura Petrie : You're-you're not thinking of selling it, are you?

  Rob Petrie : Huh? I'm not? Well, I mean... Well, of course not. Why not?

• Rob Petrie : Why'd you have to think of that, anyway?

  Laura Petrie : I only thought of it a couple seconds before you would have.

  Rob Petrie : Yeah, but it makes you nicer than me, anyhow.

• Mr. Harlow : If you hold on to these, in time they'll be worth 7000-8000 dollars.

  Rob Petrie : When?

  Mr. Harlow : About the turn of the century.

  Buddy Sorrell : That's a pretty slow turn. You don't even have to put your hand out for that one.