ericjcant-1 Reviews

Watchmen (2009)

A good movie, but nobody seems enticed to want to watch it again

[7/10 · 30 November 2023]

A good movie, but not a great movie, for peculiar reasons. I put this about on the same level as most of the Lord of the Rings movies, and with somewhat similar types of detractions. The concept and the script are solid, and it generally looks well done, but where I start to stall out is that most of the male actors struck me as either so-so depictions, or just misinterpreted. If you are going to attempt to interpret such a well known and widely read graphic novel, you have to get these strongly defined characters right on the money. Forget director's vision, because if you don't nail these personalities, or at least make them stronger rather than weaker than the source material, viewers are going to be keyed right into this right off the bat. So here is what came immediately to mind as I watched this: Having Rorschach sounding exactly like Nolan's Batman was an unfortunate distraction that was impossible for me to ignore. Next, Doctor Manhattan as being somewhat melancholy would have been ok if it was clear that he is too advanced to feel attachment to normal life, but in this movie he crosses the line into seeming sort of dumpy, with a "poor me" demeanor. He completely loses his appeal, and yet apparently committed to his weightlifting routine. Comedian wasn't nearly as coldly psychopathic as he needed to be as the initial driving force behind the movie. And finally Ozymandias, who was just merely there. On the other hand, I would say that Carla Gugino as Sally Jupiter and Patrick Wilson as Nite Owl were both excellent.

I think the changes in the script were ok. Normally this is something that I hate in movies, but here I think the story actually needed to simplify the script a bit at the end. Audiences aren't brilliant, and Moore's original story has a relatively complex idea behind its finale. As such, this more straight forward and obvious ending was probably a good idea, but I completely understand why Moore probably hated it.

The other key problem for me was with the prominence of the soundtrack. It's too rich. Iconic, generation defining songs being used in any movie is a gamble as to whether your audience buys into this, and Watchmen uses a LOT of very historic, culture shaping songs. This can only work -sometimes- in movies, but it opens up a strong possibility of creating a polemic in the viewers mind. Everyone has heard these songs, and everyone is going to have a very specific association of whether these songs are good, bad, or whether they really fit the scene. For the most part, I think this movie bit off more than it could chew. Ultimately it breaks the suspension of belief. The Watchmen jumping right in trying to harness Bob Dylan's The Times They Are A-Changin' was a completely ill-fitted choice, as was The Sound of Silence, and Hallelujah. At best these songs jerk the viewer out of the movie, and at worst it makes your audience dislike the scenes they are shoehorned into because the context is all wrong.

Dragonquest (2009 Video)

Arrr matey, this here be a dragon movie.

[3/10 · 11 November 2023]

So let's movie on and point out the positives of this finely crafted piece of horribleness.

1- Mark Singer does his best to channel the pirate Long John Silver as was played in the movie with Robert Newton, except that Mark's character is not a pirate, so that's pretty nifty.

2- Daniel Bonjour shifts from an American to a British accent and back again in every sing sentence he speaks.

3- The props appear to be the best stuff one might buy off the shelf at somewhere like Hot Topic. The jewelry... just wow.

4- Russel Reynolds looks like Spock!

5- They didn't waste money on expensive 3D graphics, and this is a movie that is better left as cheap as possible.

6- All the outfits look really clean and new, almost as if they had never been worn before, ever. It's a very clean world in this movie.

So what is bad about this movie? Nothing. This has everything you could possibly hope for. Film, this is.

The Sorcerer and the White Snake (2011)

Amazing levels of silliness, often to the point of actually being surprising.

[4/10 · 25 September 2023]

Don't give up on this movie in the first ten or so minutes. Just wait. You will soon realize that The Sorcerer and the White Snake reaches into something profoundly absurd, to the point where whatever obscure goal it may have had as an epic fantasy is far surpassed by the most extreme levels of overlapping ridiculousness. Despite sheer epic corniness, there is something to be said for how hard it tries to be a compelling watch. You almost start to feel obligated to ride it out just to see if it can get any worse, and for the most part it gets more and more absurdly wacky as it moves along. I'm not sure if I have ever seen a movie so willing to throw everything it can at the screen in hopes of having something seem exciting, and yet it pretty much just launches itself like a fruitcake from catapult. The drama is SO utterly corny, the graphics look cheap (but cost them several tens of millions of dollars), and the humor only makes you wonder if the whole movie is meant to be a farce, and yet it wasn't. "Hot mess" doesn't even begin to explain what this things is. I'm surprised it took me so long to find this film, because I love bad movies, but there are not many movies this bad with such an astronomical budget. There was no expense spared, but it is a tidal wave of over-saturated failure. You might have to see this for yourself. The pedals are spinning in an attempt to break all records, but nobody seems to realize that the chain is disconnected. It is a bizarrely clueless extravaganza. It did keep me watching, but only to watch the boat sink and finally just explode.

Nimona (2023)

The safest road. Not really punk rock, not really metal, and basically an average road of animated story.

[6/10 · 30 June 2023]

I applaud the LGBTQ+ elements, wholeheartedly. But still... this is heartfelt-ish and also predictable. The brilliant indie shine of the original Nimona story was wacky and full of wry sarcastic humor, but here we have lots of drawn out feelings circling around tragic relationships, sorrows of being outcast and the issues that are stereotypical tropes of every single animated feature that has been made since the dawn of time... and to be on the level, this is unfortunate when considering what the punk-rock independence of the fabulously fun Nimona graphic novel could have been if it had been transferred to animation correctly. This show has almost none of the cheeky wink that Stevenson put into their brilliant graphic novel. This animated feature is 100% packaged predictability, and the characters follow right in line. Such a disappointment when you know what could have been... but out-of-the-box thinking is not what film seems to be about these days. Nimona is a form fitted script to appeal to a mediocre tween mentality, but where is the surprise, where is the unexpected? Yes there is enough visual appeal to keep you hoping it might do something more, but unfortunately it never comes to fruition. It's not bad, but... Why the "creative" powers behind this film didn't incorporate some of the key off-the-cuff moments of the silver medal Eisner winning graphic novel seems almost perplexing. Nimona as a movie is fine, but anyone over the age of twenty is going to know the story from beginning to end. Just telling it like it is.

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023)

Solid movie of fun compelling characters, but be ready for some top heavy sensory overload and a bit of thin and sometimes dizzying plot

[8/10 · 3 June 2023]

All the kids will love it, and most adults will love it, but get ready for piles of multi-verse Spidermans and multi-dimensional plot spinning that requires you to somewhat turn your brain off in order to enjoy it. In fact, the best parts of this movie is when it isn't spinning out of control with barrages of visuals and throwing multi-dimensional plot confetti in your face. Lucky for us there is a good amount of really solid character building and heartfelt intimate character interactions that keeps the whole thing afloat. The humor is nicely peppered throughout as well.

For those of us who actually pay a little bit of critical attention, you are going to notice how much this movie borrows straight from the Wreck it Ralph movies, or specifically from Vanellope's character dynamics. It's all fine, but the correlations are pretty clear.

At a certain point in the movie I started to get worried as it literally starts to dog pile loose ideas about the multiverse and all the "infinite" mumbo jumbo of character copies etc. It never holds together well in any story, It always weakens the core story and makes the important aspect start to feel flimsy. Across the Spiderverse doesn't quite go too far, but it certainly stares over the edge at certain points, and quite honestly I am still just a bit worried about this for the next story installment. As it stands though, there is enough solid material keeping it real.

When it all boils down, I totally recommend seeing this movie in the theater. The great moments are great, and the artistic dynamics are interesting. I would also note that both Spidergwen and Miles Morales are equally compelling and likeable, which is really nice actually. I just hope they keep their eye on the ball and reign it all in for the next chapter.

Interview with the Vampire (2022– )

Not bad in general, but it tries too hard, and conjures somewhat flakey results at times

[6/10 · 27 May 2023]

Whenever a show tries too hard to manicure itself with visual fluff and over pretentious effect trying to make a statement, this can be a drawback that takes you out of the story. A viewer shouldn't feel pulled away because of over pronouncing the style. If you compare this problem to a real person, Interview with the Vampire is your friend who everyone knows is trying a bit too hard to be cool instead of just letting themselves act naturally. I just wish this show was a bit less pretentious. With that said, this show is good for general entertainment consumption, regardless of lacking legitimacy in regards to its source material. So if you come to this expecting to find what feels like the Anne Rice novel that you know, this won't be it, but in the bigger stew of streaming channel shows, I like it more than most mainly because of the core ideas of Anne Rice that it chose to keep.

Jupiter Ascending (2015)

Glitz in space

[4/10 · 10 December 2022]

As Jupiter Ascending piles on effects, graphics and CGI decor, there never seems to be much that stands out as being all that memorable. Most of this movie alternates between cliche SF elements and uninteresting character interactions. Mila Kunis plays Jupiter Jones, a girl from Earth with some kind of galactic heritage that is supposed to be significant but the revelation of this key building point never convinces us to care. The tension of conflict in this movie is so transparent that you almost forget there is a reason for all the chasing around. Mila Kunis's character merely seems to be there as an empty gesture for the script, but even the action in this movie lacks any sense of weight. For all the milk-toast blandness of the leads, we then get the most two dimensional of villains. Eddie Redmayne's entrance as the main bad guy actually had me saying to myself, "you can't be serious." His vocal adjustment of adding a fake whispery tone was way too silly for me, and it made it impossible for me to take his character seriously for the rest of movie. The combination of all these lackluster elements makes Jupiter Ascending feel like a B-movie with an absurdly undeserving budget.

A couple of things that might seem like minor quibbles, and yet I couldn't help but be keenly aware of... There is a lot of noticeable makeup in this movie, and with pretty much everyone. Aliens, robots, humanoids... makeup and hairspray across the galaxy. Apparently outer space culture is even more focused on superficial appearances than Earth. Admittedly, overdone makeup is a pet peeve of mine in SF movies in particular, but I appreciate not wondering when a character would have stopped to refresh his mascara, or re-apply more foundation while making his way through a series of sweaty battles. Jupiter Ascending is certainly not the only movie guilty of over saturating visuals, but it is quite a bombardment of glitz and CGI graphics. Too many costumes that don't look like actual wearable clothing, and too many visual elements in place of substance and ideas. The result is that it seems empty, and just a bit flaky.

There were one or two scenes that could have almost been memorable, such as the bit with the robot clerical assistant, but even then this portion feels out of place, and it isn't even as humorously engaging as it should be, but nothing in Jupiter Ascending convinces us to care about what is going on. We have a princess, a rollerblading rogue hero, and nothing is charming, or engaging, or even interesting about any of it. Even the villains are merely boring stereotypes that may as well just be lines of script for the audience to read on screen if only to shorten the length of our boredom. If I hadn't been determined to make my through this movie just to see if it really was the dud it was panned as, I probably would have stopped after watching the long intro which unironically serves up an entirely moot point that sets a pointless tone for the rest of the movie. I kept asking myself the same question at several different points in the movie... "why do this?" And that sums up the movie as a whole.

The Posthuman Project (2014)

If you don't leave your highschool acting dreams behind you might end up in something like this...

[1/10 · 27 October 2022]

This is a movie where you quickly start thinking, "I hope this is a movie where everyone dies." It's just that bad... But based upon the viewer ratings it seems the cast and their immediate families were all very impressed. The acting is unbelievable on the worst level, but everything in this movie is equally stupid across the board. Nothing feels organic or real in this movie. The characters and situations are not quite as fake as something like Birdemic, but it is close. I tend to find that once a movie sinks below a certain threshold of natural delivery or organic characterization, I start to wish everyone would just inexplicably die under horrific circumstances, just to redeem itself for the effort given of trying to watch it.

Dororo (2007)

Solid fantasy with a tokusatsu blend of engaging story dynamics.

[8/10 · 5 July 2022]

Dororo surprised me. It was more engaging than I had it set in my mind that it would be. Dororo is an effective supernatural fantasy, with a cool portrayal of trippy supernatural stuff, and pretty cool characters and acting. The tokusatsu elements give it some quirkiness of a b-movie, but even when these budget production issues stick out, it doesn't detract too much in how it spins with the rest of the production.

The premise of the story outlined in the introduction is that a warlord sells his unborn son's organs to demons in exchange for power. The movie takes place in a medieval samurai setting, and the story centers around the son that is born after this macabre exchange takes place The supernatural elements balance surprisingly well with the tone and character dynamics. The maturity level varies, but it doesn't get too far out of story focus as it skips around various young adult type of themes and emotional moments.

Dororo has a lot of charm, but certainly falls in the b-movie side of the field. The story is interesting, and actors are quite good. Ko Shibasaki portrays a rough natural beauty with surprising emotional effectiveness, and as others have noted, the chemistry between her and Satoshi Tsumabuki is great.

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace (2004)

Cutting edge art. More radical than Dancing with the Stars or Love Boat

[10/10 · 7 April 2022]

This show explores the highest of the lower depths of art on film. More radical than MacGuyver and dramatic plots that can only be compared with such exceptional writing as that of the best of 80s television such as Love Boat or Who's the Boss. The only TV show that might display a similar level of craft and talent as that of Darkplace would be T. J. Hooker. Need I say more?

Asylum (1996– )

If you love the weird stuff, this is the far edge of bizarre alternative non-PC humor.

[8/10 · 22 March 2022]

No contemporary cable tv channel would dare to play a show like this anymore, and it's not an easy video series to find in good quality, as it has never been released on DVD. It is on Youtube, but it is a low quality transfer from VHS- but even on Youtube yo have to search for it under "Asylum Simon Pegg" otherwise you won't easily find it.

Back in the early days of cable I could imagine this short-lived British tv production being shown after midnight on the Comedy Channel. Asylum, when it is at its best, is something roughly close to the level of weirdness as Garth Marenghi's Dark Place (which if you haven't watched, do so immediately), although not as consistent. The non-PC aspect of the show is that it uses mental illness as its comedic premise (not humorous in real life, of course) but if you can look past the irreverent treatment of its subject matter, Asylum is a bizarre piece of work, and worthwhile if only for segments featuring Julian Barrett, Simon Pegg, and Jessica Hynes. Large portions of this show, particularly in episode one, featuring monologues by Adam Bloom are too over the top and not all that that funny, much in the same way as early stand-up comedy by Robin Williams is often an incoherent barrage of verbal acrobatics. Also, the musical segments while good, are an odd fit for this type of production.

The basic premise of the show is that a pizza delivery guy (Simon Pegg) is incarcerated in an asylum while making a delivery, merely because the asylum needs more patients, and the asylum staff are as crazy as the inmates. If you just want to taste test one episode, I would suggest episode two, as large portions of episode one are best left on fast forward for the reasons stated previously.

If you like obscure weird comedy, this has some great moments, but it's not consistent in quality from one comedy segment to another. If you are ok to zip past the monologues and watch the Julian Barrett and Simon Pegg scenes, Asylum is often witty comedy with irreverent twists and an indie edge.

Free Guy (2021)

Quality mix of Lego Movie, Tron, and Wreck It Ralph

[8/10 · 10 January 2022]

Free Guy is solid entertainment. Not exactly original, but it does deliver, and it does an admirable job of getting to the heart of its remix of ideas with enough wit, action, and humor to be enjoyable for almost anyone. Unlike other meta commentary movies that try to offer a humorously diverting message in the face of our glutted media tech driven world, Free Guy doesn't leave you feeling cheated by predictable and/or unfunny humor (Mitchells vs. The Machines). The writing is tight and on point, and pulls you right in. I didn't feel like Free Guy spins off into pointless and padded out segments like so many feel good movies do. At least not TOO much.

Free Guy is actually fun, and Ryan Reynolds is the perfect actor for the role. The levity doesn't undermine its fairly relevant message either, even though the themes and story elements are often familiar. There are a couple of brief profanities to push up the PG-13 rating, but otherwise Free Guy is family friendly comedy with the feel-good Disney romance aspect on the side. Often formula script derivativeness ruins a movie like this for me, but Free Guy gets the recipe on the money and kept me on board. I would think almost any viewer of any age will find something of worthwhile interest here. Thankfully Free Guy also leaves behind extended battle(s) and/or a heavy-handed obviousness. Free Guy isn't exactly brilliant, but it is well constructed and humorously fun with a broad appeal. I wasn't expecting to like this as much as I did, and I probably would have skipped it if not for the recommendation by a good friend, but I am glad I was talked into seeing it and wouldn't mind watching it again, which is rare for me.

Black Scorpion (2001)

Contender for one of Corman's best, with a busty vigilante babe kicking criminal's butts!

[10/10 · 21 May 2021]

This is pure b-movie trash culture in all of its shoddy, low budget glory and it is fabulous fun when it hits its best episodes (eps 1, 8, and 21-22 are my personal favorites). I am actually stunned as I write this, having watched upwards of roughly a hundred different Corman productions, and I have to say that when Black Scorpion is at its best, this is top notch cheese, though I would suggest you skip the lower rated episodes.

Black Scorpion is a pulp fest. The whole series revels in being trash culture of the most superficial kind. Everything from the costumes to the dialogue is pure cheese, and the low budget effects are the classic real life footage and stunts. If you like stuff blowing up and ninja fights, you will love this. It is a serious contender for the cult hit hall of fame. I really do have to give Corman credit on this. It is a gem, and completely true to form and tradition of the schlock variety. Black Scorpion has about everything you could want or expect from a cheap shallow Corman film. Honestly. It moves forward with tons of momentum that holds the line very well, and it is freaking beautiful! Love it!

Dune (1984)

The triumphs are larger than the failings of Lynch's Dune

[7/10 · 19 April 2021]

Lynch's Dune is a genuinely complex film to review, not because of the Dune story, but as to why there is such a dramatic gap between moments of incredible excellence and equally clear failures.

I think from the outset Dune was put forward with the misguided expectation that because it takes place in "space" it should be a blockbuster, which then means it should have a certain framework reminiscent of Lucas or Spielberg as the ideal hit makers of the time. Creatively speaking, this type of thinking should never have entered this movie. Lynch himself seems to have tried to conform to a semblance of a Hollywood blockbuster, and then topping things off with his creative touches, but the result is that the movie is a conflict of creative interests. The most effective and evocative scenes in this movie are when its' interests are not trying to spoon feed you information. Dune as a watching experience, should probably be left vague, and probably without narrative explanation altogether. As a film I think Dune needs to be allowed to not have to explain itself, and explanations should probably be sparse or even cryptic, because tonally Dune is a mysterious book, and though it has moments of world building and info (being a book), it is more the positions, loyalties and character traits and dynamics in the face of epic transitions of power and history that evoke the most significance.

There are many scenes and moments in Lynch's Dune that achieve some unique atmosphere, and with superb acting. Jurgen Prochnow, Francesca Annis, and Kenneth McMillan played the most competent and interesting roles for me. Kyle MacLachlan does a wonderful job, but he is slightly too old for the role. Consider the scene where Duke Leto and Paul are talking under the moon of the night sky of Caladan. Powerful scene, but the prophetic impact would have felt so much more significant and intensely weighted if McLachlan had instead been a more appropriately aged actor for the role, such as maybe River Phoenix. But age discrepancies aside, Kyle's acting is appropriately fitted to the character, just not his slightly too adult appearance by this time.

I don't want to go too far into Dune's failings, but there are plenty, and it starts immediately with the opening narrative trying to establish a verbal context for a very complex and highly advanced foreign universe. Not usually a good way to introduce a movie. "Show, don't tell" which is actually what Lynch is usually best at. So this results in a movie that too often tries to serve requirements that detract from aspects that are interesting and experimental.

Memento (2000)

Powerfully dark and beautiful film. Looks into the void of a life only half lived.

[10/10 · 8 December 2020]

Memento is a spectral masterpiece of relentless and poignant visual story telling. It unwinds a fascinating story, walking a fine line between crime-noir and psychological drama, yet with a self-awareness that somewhat reminds me of Bergman's sincerity. That might sound a bit gratuitous to some, but making a film like this, where the script is so strong, requires a solid director who not only facilitates the story correctly, but preserves the presence of the mood and not sanitizing it. Guy Pearce's delivery of the first person narrative is spot-on in tone and with a strangely fascinating pragmatic determinism as we start to understand Leonard's strange existence. I think this story is told perfectly through Nolan's lens, and with a premise that is compelling from its first dark note. I have to give Nolan credit for not making this film something that wraps up a comfortably resolved climax with a bow on top. There are questions that cannot and should not be answered, and this is partially why it leaves the viewer with such a strong and eerie impact. There are only portions of the mystery that can be resolved due to Leonard's condition. Leonard is a character the viewer feels compelled to immediately sympathize with, and integrity that is unquestionable. You cannot help but to empathize with the excellent narrative and put yourself in Leonard's shoes. But the card that Leonard has been dealt is such a dark echo of functional existence. No matter how bad you want clean cut answers, the bigger picture has too many holes, and the extent of the criminal deeds of every character in this film is suspect. We cannot help but to empathize with Leonard because we know just by his running narrative as we hear his thoughts that his sincerity and resoluteness is unshakeable, but it is never quite clear how far he has been willing to go see justice incurred. Memento doesn't leave us hanging, but the unanswered questions make for a beautifully dark movie that it pulls you into a sea of uncertain reality. It's not that often that you come across movies with a grip that is as alluring as it is spooky. I have to mention that it is perfectly acted by Guy Pearce and Carrie Anne Moss. And Joe Pantoliano could not have been a better choice. This is a movie that actually better on a second or third watch, because once you have drawn your conclusions, there are plenty of questions to play with, and the mood is so thick you can cut it with a knife!

Death Machine (1994)

Interesting B-movie concoction of early Euro cyberpunk.

[7/10 · 9 November 2020]

Death Machine is B-movie SF of the early Euro cyberpunk variety. Probably got some of its inspiration from the artists of the French comic anthology series Metal Hurlant. I saw this when it first aired in the states, which was one of the several early SF channel indie flicks of the 90s (if anyone remembers those days...) This movie is a good bang for your buck...but not exactly original, although it does have cool details and great characters. I also have to state for the record that this movie has a pretty funny pot smoking scene, that I honestly did not see coming, and still enjoy every time I see it... But all around, Death Machine is a fun, pulpy, very French SF inspired film, with fun details and pure B-movie volition as it handles its derivative ideas with relative flair and humor. The acting is fairly solid too with nods to Ely Pouget, John Sharian, and Brad Dourif for putting in solid characterization.

Cloud Atlas (2012)

Movie Hell. Six stories told in ten minute segements over three hours of time. Give me a break.

[4/10 · 29 May 2020]

Cloud Atlas is the story format I would envision if there were movies in Hell. Ever tried watching six different movies in ten minute segments over three hours of time? It is annoying and tedious, and even if you make it through, the idea of ever having to watch it again sounds like work.

There are some who find Cloud Atlas to be impressive, seemingly for no other reason than it has a lot of stuff in it. If I didn't already make it clear, Cloud Atlas rolls together six different alternating stories, and despite what some would lead you to believe, they have nothing in common except that they use the same actors. This is supposed to suggest some sort of parallel worlds of reincarnation, but the roles have nothing in common. They are totally different people with no correlation to each other. So why is this even a point worth making?

Each story presents a different conflict, whether that be in the form of slavery, sexual oppression, oil companies, racism, money, or tribal barbarian hordes... basically whatever the author could think of at the moment, and he came up with six. I think liberation from oppression is supposed to be the transcending factor here, and the movie tries to neatly wrap everything up with a narrative message at the end, essentially telling us that people who fight oppression are good and people who create oppression are bad, and that our actions effect the future of our reincarnated entirely different selves and other actors who are rotating through different character roles of different stories. I'm going to be blunt here; as it is portrayed in this movie, this is a dumb concept, because if one incarnation is an oppressed gay composer, and another is an abusive villain who has no awareness of his other selves, then contextually it doesn't matter... no more so than if you had the an actor play Captain Hook in one movie and then later plays Sneezy the Dwarf in another. You have one actor playing two different roles in two different movies. So what? And even if you want to fall back on the theme of oppressed vs. Oppressor, then drop the pretentiously complex method of using six stories and just find one good one. You might find yourself asking, why didn't they just play each story all the way through one at a time? I have no idea. Not complicated enough maybe?

The individual stories are not bad, but the directing is poor, especially in the first hour, as every story feels rushed and insincere, and all the characters lack tonal believe-ability.

Cloud Atlas isn't bad, it just isn't good either, and it seems to want to be more than it is. There also seems to be a lot of characters randomly smoking pot in this movie, which makes sense, because this movie often mistakes complexity for creativity, and fails to deliver meaningful impact.

Cats (2019)

I was surprised at how whimsically fun and visually interesting Cats was. But yes, it is outside the bounds of traditional movie story ideals.

[8/10 · 25 May 2020]

Is CATS a good movie? Hmm... no. But if the question instead asked if CATS is a good piece of entertainment, my answer would be "yes." Cats isn't a movie that works as a standard three act play. There is no arguing around this. Standard movie structure does not work here. Cats is more of a spectacle, in the sense of being a performance that is a mixed cocktail of expression and visuals that are quite impressive and surprisingly organic in flow, but not following a proper plot exactly. Cats does have a loose story attached to it, but it isn't really a story proper. It's sort of like what someone might come up with if they took a nursery rhyme about cats and visually interpreted it into a movie. So having a plot that works is not really the point of the show. Contextually it works together well enough, but its story structure is whimsical, or perhaps figurative(?). If you go to see this movie with the expectation that all must fit into a the three act template, this will not work for you, which seems to be why Cats is being hailed as an unholy terror by thousands of internet experts idiotically falling over each other to come up with new way to proclaim this movie's failure.... But I actually think Cats is quite good, for the type of theater creation that it clearly is, so you should go into this with that type of presentation in mine, which is not many movie goers kind of thing. Even Disney musical fans might find Cats to be too light on plot, even though the visual creativity and choreography is often stellar.

Most of the scenes are whimsical and light, which makes the big dramatic scene feel a little top heavy. Most of of the show is cute and pretty, but "light" entertainment. Still, it does this specific job well. I would think kids under the age of four would really love this.

One thing I am actually annoyed with as far as the haters go, is how everyone keeps blathering about how terrible the CGI is, and this really irks me, because there is SO much bad CGI out there, and this is so far from being bad CGI that it just seems like people are dumb when they try to point this out. I'm not saying it doesn't look mesmerizingly strange to see people as cats, but if it wasn't for all the boo-hoo I had read about what a CGI abomination this supposedly is, I honestly would have thought all the actors was dressed in exceptionally good costumes. That is the truth. The roles in Cats are far from complex, but everyone plays them well. In fact, even though the bulk of her character is only displayed through facial expression and movement, I adored every minute of Jessica Hayward's performance. She was exactly what the role should be, and basically so was everyone else. I thought Taylor Swift seemed more than just a little bit superfluous, but she didn't undermine the movie in any way.

To end off here, I can't help but wonder if somebody important did not want Cats to happen, as a movie specifically. Either that, or maybe somebody just really has it out for Tom Hooper, because while I can understand Cats getting bad reviews for not have the consistency established as a "good movie story", it is also so far from being the monstrosity declared by every Tom, Dick and Harry. The cries of debauchery have been so outlandish that it has set off my spider-sense conspiracy warning... Cats just isn't what it is being panned as by critics. "Bad movie"? Ok, fine. It is too fluid and abstract for many. "Worst movie ever made"? Nope, not even close. Not even anything in this or any other parallel universes of bad movies. My suggestion: go see it with your 11 year old daughter, and this will help clarify the particularly rare and peculiar fun that Cats really is.

(BTW, If you want to know what the worst movie ever made is, it was a musical called The Apple, and it came out in 1980. Just be warned.)

Electric Dreams (2017–2018)

Well crafted. A good show.

[9/10 · 29 February 2020]

Electric Dreams is a consistently solid watch, and it is disappointing to me that so many reviewers claim otherwise. The acting and production values are top notch, and the writing is spot on, even when it is not groundbreakingly original. Just because Black Mirror often has episodes that are jaw dropping ten star triumphs does not mean that all else in the SF category is a somehow a failure, and yet there are a fair amount of reviews that take an immature, winner-takes-all approach. Electric Dreams is classic new wave SF. It is thorough in how it presents its narratives, and carries depth in its poignant ideas and dramatic turns, even when these are somewhat predictable, they still carry their weight. Altogether, Electric Dreams has the core of what makes good SF and it follows through with solid productions. Unfortunately it looks like we will only get one season out of it because the fanboys are restless and can't see the forest because of the trees.

Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018)

The Unfortunate Truth About the New Star Wars Movies...

[5/10 · 26 October 2019]

Most of the newer Star Wars movies aren't bad, but they aren't really that good either. They feel like placeholder movies, waiting for someone with real vision to make their way here. They are good for a watch, but fairly trite, and lacking a sense of independence as the pack in the nods for all the Star Wars fanboys. The package is much better than episodes 1, 2, and 3, but they don't seem to capture any classic elements of their own. Bigger new Death Stars and 50 Star Destroyers on-screen instead of 1 isn't much more than processed cheese creativity. And while our new Darth with a bigger head and a smaller helmet has some interesting qualities, he doesn't come across nearly as complex or developed as he should be considering the heritage he is carrying. What we really needed was better writing, organic and original, and not merely caffeinated boardroom story construction. With Solo, I think making the connections of what we know of his past was necessity, but again, the writing was too transparent, especially on a second watch. I wanted to see a glimpse of the Han we met in A New Hope; fairly shady, brash and self centered, and only congenial in a forced way. Instead we got a cute pop Han Solo. Fairly chipper and only a criminal due to circumstance.. But at least he fits right in with his smurfy packaged story.

Mary Poppins Returns (2018)

Recycled generic brand Mary Poppins

[4/10 · 16 July 2019]

Tape together a quick uninspired premise, a bunch of shallow technical scenes, and emptilly reuse lines and phrases from the original movie and what you get is the new Mary Poppins. It seems like there is a pool of B list script writers at Disney who are merely passable professionals. These are the people who write the re-makes, the sequels, and the Disney channel shows. Mary Poppins Returns falls into this category. Now I will say this... if you just need a dose of generic theater songs, and actors doing typical theater people scenes that try to sell you on a weak copy of moments that made the original a classic, this will work, but don't expect something that feels genuine, heartfelt, or timeless. This is a musical and a movie, but that's it... and it's kind of boring too sometimes.

Love, Death & Robots (2019– )

A cartoonish hybrid of Black Mirror, Heavy Metal, and video game cinematics

[8/10 · 28 March 2019]

If you remember the 2012 anthology show, Metal Hurlant, that show did poorly what this show does well. Love, Death, and Robots has some relatively fun story ideas as long as you can tolerate a truckload of gratuitous violence, exploitative sexuality and writing generally aimed at delinquent minded male adults (or kids whose parents don't know or don't care what their kids are watching). It has a lot of similarities to the adult SF comic book magazine Heavy Metal, so a fair number of stories contain nude women on display, sexual humor, and when anybody gets killed in this show, which is about every five seconds, it is generally in a violently bloody fashion. Oh, and if you have ever wondered how many times a show can drop the "F" bomb, well get ready...

Despite juvenile fixations, there are some cool concept ideas and themes, with solid action and good CG production. These are shorts though, so don't expect any developed depth. Each episode is like a snippet of an idea. But effective for what they are. Many episodes don't have time to do anything more than carry themselves more on gratuity and visual creativity than real plot, but they successfully hook you in with decent premises, and then ride out an extended scene of the initial idea. For the comic book shop crowd, this is sure to be a winner. Ok, so there are some episodes that are quite creative and/or humorous, with occasional Twilight Zone or Star Trek type of twists, and these are usually the most fulfilling episodes, but that only happens here and there. Three minutes into most of these stories and you pretty much know what you are getting, but this isn't necessarily bad. I would put most episodes on the same level as a typical video game level premise with added adult content. So... sort of a dumbed down Black Mirror with a superficial video game-ish spin, directed toward the "we never grew up" generation of nerd-core adults.

A Wrinkle in Time (2018)

Cosmically underwhelming, generic and tedious.

[2/10 · 2 October 2018]

It is strange to see a huge budget family movie like this fail to achieve any of its own goals on such an epic scale. Saying that A Wrinkle in Time lacks compelling interest would be an understatement. It is a cosmically underwhelming film peppered with expensive yet empty visuals. In fact, it is often straight up boring as it moves through several scenes of superfluous waxing philosophic about the nature of time, love, and good vs evil. These little narrations use up movie time and replace any real development of story and character. Ultimately it makes for a rather tedious film to sit through. Actors... hmm. The big surprise for me was that Oprah struck me as the weakest in this department. It didn't help that her boring delivery and rather emotionless expressions are contrasted by these stagey costumes, hair, and makeup that would be well suited for a 1970s disco star. But this brings up a problem with all the witches: they don't look like witches, they look like actors in absurd costumes. If I lived next door to these people and they showed up at my house, I wouldn't be concerned in the least, because it would be so overtly obvious that my supposedly "strange" neighbors were really just theater people who pretend their real lives are their stage characters. Too fake. As for everyone else, they were relatively ok I guess, when considering what they had to work with. Aside from needing a totally different script, I think the core problem here is that the film never felt mysterious or surprising. The visuals never felt like anything beyond generically "creative." Nothing was convincingly weird as it traverses between these supposedly cosmic characters and other dimensions, which ultimately made it exactly the opposite of what a story like this should be, and so it ends up as a predictable film on all fronts.

Metal Hurlant Chronicles (2012–2014)

Varies in quality from one episode to another

[5/10 · 28 February 2018]

I would suggest that you go into this show thinking of it as more of an SF "cartoon" than a high concept SF show. There is some ok stuff going on in this show here and there, but its not Black Mirror, and unfortunately, it seems like the writers for this show are more like "professional" writers than they are genuinely imaginative. The successful pieces only happen occasionally, and even then, it's never quite as compelling, or even as weird, as it should be.

I have nothing against pop SF that is more candy than science, but with this in mind, this could have been a better show if they had perhaps found better writing. The ideas behind most of these episodes don't feel fleshed out or well constructed. In fact, many episodes feel like they are padding out the stories in order to fill the time requirements. Sometimes the show does hit a cool note, but if you compare this to other SF shows doing a similar thing (Black Mirror, Electric Dreams, or even Dimension 404) this seems the least inspired, which might seem perplexing to some, because the writers for this show are supposed to be some of "the best" comic book writers in the industry. Well, this is misleading. Most of these writers are well known comic book writers, but rarely does that equate to being the most inspired or creative, unfortunately. They are just names that everybody knows because they have been around for so long.

Metal Hurlant was originally a hugely successful adult comic book/magazine that hit its height of popularity in the late 70s and through the 80s. The magazine has managed to stay around in one form or another, and most of these episodes are taken from material that is relatively new. Originally Metal Hurlant was never really a high concept venue as much as it was an experimental venue. It thrived on trying new ideas and had a huge span of variety in style and substance. It was punk rock and edgy, entirely unconcerned with PC politics or standards of professionalism. It thrived because of it's willingness to explore. The rebel spirit that was a pervasive part of the independent comic scene in those days is really all but dead, across the industry as a whole, which is much more focused upon the abstract concepts of professionalism and sell-ability than being motivated by compelling creativity. You would think that this should essentially be the same thing, but in fact it isn't, and its a mindset that produces different results.

This show sometimes peeks through the window of the past and find some of that original glory, but it too often feels more sterile than it should. I get the sense that the producers of the show wanted to capture something of the old days for a new generation, but the material just doesn't pull out enough mystery or surprises.

My recommendation is to at least try it, and skip the weaker episodes. There is some ok stuff here and there, especially if you like SF, but don't expect the cutting edge.

Mythica: A Quest for Heroes (2014)

Imagine, if you will, an enchanted land full of magic, adventure, and super shallow writing

[5/10 · 1 February 2018]

Take every standard fantasy cliche from popular fiction, role playing game conventions, fantasy cosplay etc and behold you get Mythica! A series of predictable adventures at the fan fiction level of writing, acting and effects. There is a good chance that as you watch this you will find yourself thinking, "this is just like..." or, "this reminds me of..." Ut's not exactly bad though, it's just that there is absolutely zero originality. The creatures, the characters, the quest(s) lack any sense of genuine depth, and are entirely derivative. With that said, I didn't dislike it. I just wish it was more genuinely creative and compelling.