jamesalmos Reviews

Doe (2018)

Solid indie sci-fi thriller

[7/10 · 8 August 2019]

I'd call this one an above average entry into the low-budget sci-fi thriller category.

The Good: 1) Intriguing premise - not 100% original, but an interesting turn on more-common themes 2) Acting is better than expected from a low-budget film 3) Same goes for the cinematography 4) Manages not to give away the rest of the plot during exposition 5) Mathew St. Patrick (and Timothy Davis, for that matter)

The Bad: 1)Props in a couple scenes scream of high school theater 2) Obviously couldn't afford/secure better shooting locations, which hurt some scenes a bit 3) Tatyana Ali's character was flat; really wasted her presence

This isn't a movie you're going to rush to tell your friends about, but you also won't be wasting your time watching. It's a compelling enough narrative outright. You just have to be able to de-hollywood your expectations to get the most out of it.

Full disclosure: I know someone who was involved with this film, so I gave an unearned extra star here.

Unlovable (2018)

Great take on a hard topic to tackle, yet not a great film

[7/10 · 23 April 2019]

Viewers should know first and foremost that this film gets right at the heart of some topics that many find uncomfortable to even think of, let alone watch played out on screen for 80 mins. It is a (pleasantly) surprisingly frank depiction of sex in general, with a focus on specific inclinations/complulsions/hangups/etc relative to the addictive aspects of sex.

And that enough so that there was no future of international release or promos on late-night US tv. No chance of great stardom or adulation. But they did it anyway, and did it honestly, such that it (according to a similarly-afflicted friend) really speaks to the heart of the issue and how actual humans deal with it.

But, due praise given, the narrative was somewhat disjointed in presentation and the final cut a resultant disappointment to me. Not in the least because I think they poorly utilized the brilliant John Hawkes (and, yes, apologies for elevating the male role in a film that's not about him). For that matter, I found the equally brilliant Melissa Leo underutilized as well (also, not about her, I know).

While I endlessly applaud Ms. deGuzman's honesty and sheer courage to bring such a personal role to the screen as she did, I must be honest and say it did not, ultimately, work out that well.

Honest assessment is a 6/10, but I think such boldness and effort demands an extra star.

With any luck, Ms. deGuzman will be back soon with another film more complementary of her talents, and of the talents of those around her.

Royally Ever After (2018 TV Movie)

We watched it for you

[1/10 · 23 May 2018]

I have a big rant to impart, but will leave the verdict to one of my oldest friends, with whom I watched this. We thought it would be funny, but it got under both our skin. He said it best:

{He asked to be introduced so all would know this comes from}..."an ex-ladyboy born in Vietnam who left at the end of the American war. A grown man who loves being a man but hates to see anyone, anywhere be put in a box because of what they looked like when they were born"

He dictates:

"Seriously, Hallmark is putting out this trash? You know they just want to get old ladies flipping through the channel guide...the ones who are into the royal wedding. And that's so insulting. Like, they may be interested in the wedding because it's exotic and beautiful and the clothes are amazing and it's just fun to watch all those rich-ass royals finally do the fun stuff they used to do back in the old days.

But those ladies aren't stupid. They don't want to watch this crap. Give it some romance, not this 'Oh, I never noticed this boy is obviously hiding something' nonsense.

Girl, if he gives it up, he's secretly rich. If he doesn't, he's secretly gay. Just be happy you're on the good end of that because they're never secretly gay and rich.

Really, it's just insulting to anyone who's into men and isn't a b***h. Yeah, he's a prince, but the minute he tells you that, you also know he's a liar. Not just a liar, but the kind that has a whole plan about how to lie to you and get away with it.

That's good for some medieval Cinderella nonsense, but now, these days? What kind of awful movie tells people that lying about who you are is okay?"

That is verbatim, and I have no further comment.

American Folk (2017)

Potential skewed beyond use

[7/10 · 15 May 2018]

For me, the problem was story. The whole 9/11 angle seemed to muck things up far more than advance.

I'm not one of the 'it was x years ago, so stop talking about it' crowd. Lost a family member that day, as it were.

But in the ensuing years, I now live near the widower of that family member (reminder: lots of firefighters are women), and we both agreed this was enough of a stretch to make those people sound pretty rational.

Recorded his words for accuracy: "If you take 9/11 away, it's probably about the same story. Good story. Just didn't like that they used the towers like that. People only got real riled in the dinner part and that's not how it was back then. You {this writer} were only in college, but I know you remember how people popped off all the time right after."

In short, 9/11 seems more a convenient linchpin than a properly explored central theme.

That said, the direction resulted in some excellent on-screen chemistry from the leads - which I barely believe wasn't there already. Also a surprising number of beautifully shot scenes with actors present - infinitely harder than without them. And despite my thematic disagreements, some tight writing.

Film gets a 5 from me, but might have been a 7 if personal circumstance didn't prevent an objective view of the subject matter.

Scoring as the latter because: won't hurt your rating on account of personal history, and hopefully a higher rating gets this film more viewings, especially from those of us connected to the event, that it might challenge us to think differently.

Destiny 2 (2017 Video Game)

Utter failure

[2/10 · 26 April 2018]

I was in the alpha for Destiny. Got top level within 24 hours in the beta. Was in a clan that ran every raid on release day (and once finished in the top 10). Played religiously from day 1 until we took every vet or noob in the clan through to Aksis until they had everything they wanted.

Then they started making progress unimportant, since 2 was coming out soon.

So I went ahead and got 2.

Lasted one night. A full, day-off-tomorrow night, but only the one.

A sequel is supposed to be the next thing. Not a skin on the old thing. Not a new class. Not a new character race/species. Not the *exact same game* with a couple minor mods on enemy AI and appearance. That's what you put in DLC. A new game should be NEW.

Don't get me wrong. Destiny is one of the best FPS/light-rpg games ever. The combat system, despite any balance flaws, is the smoothest and most natural thing I've ever played - i.e. try to think of something superior to drifting around a corner that's hiding an entire 6-man team, but, by the time you see me, you realize that drift was timed to end after the 1/2 second delay on a nova bomb.

That's just one cool move, and anyone who played Destiny has seen 100 more.

Yet, when we all got to Destiny 2, all we received was the equivalent of a (admittedly big) DLC. Nothing was truly new. They just charged us as if it was.

So, if you have daddy's unlimited platinum card and are the type that doesn't mind replaying a game that spends the entire replay pretending like it's a whole new experience, get this. Or if you just love a good FPS, especially for PVP, and don't care about story.

If you're like me (and I admit that all this is a bit pretentious), this one isn't worth the time.

All Girls Weekend (2016)

5/10 because it's smack in the middle

[5/10 · 26 April 2018]

Obviously the 9 and 10 reviews here are from cast/crew/friends/etc. Might be one from a real person, but it's unlikely.

This is yet another entry in the perennial "attractive young people go somewhere off the beaten path and encounter a deadly threat" trope set.

If you're a horror fan at heart, that's not so bothersome. It's been done a million times, but that doesn't change the fact that this is the same basic premise for many films that we now term classics.

Original, this is not. But that doesn't make it inherently bad.

In terms of executing that basic plot structure, this film strikes me as standing out for no other reason than it doesn't stand out at all. It's entirely middle-of-the-road from start to finish. The script, the acting, the effects, the sound, you name it: none of it is particularly bad nor particularly good.

It all pans out to be exactly mediocre.

Though, on a personal note, gotta say I'm a fan of Katie Carpenter.

Incontrol (2017)

Premise = many points. Execution and story = points lost

[6/10 · 26 April 2018]

I have to say up front that the basic theme of the film - being able to experience existence in any other physical state than being in one's own body - is of great personal interest to me, both personally and, at one point, professionally.

So, the filmmakers were at a simultaneous advantage and disadvantage, with respect to me.

That said: from an objective view, they did pretty well with what one can assume of their budget, and the script largely worked with the concept of exploring the meaning of the self alongside the potential trappings brought by the ability to manipulate the reality of that self.

Again, in context of what the cast and crew had to work with, the acting is above b-movie mediocre, albeit not so much as to distract from the obvious and expected dropped lines or unrealized punch points in the script.

Speaking of which, the script laid out a scenario with great potential only to get too bogged down in minutiae and unnecessary dialogue.

I still go back to the ambition and creativity of the premise - body-swapping-type stories have been done many times, but this falls outside the norm due to the psycho-physical interaction and heavier philosophical questions that ensue. This isn't low-budget Face-Off or another failed attempt at the ideas behind Transcendence. These guys went for the gold.

They didn't hit gold due to budget, but at least they tried.

A worthy watch for any sci-fi or sci-leaning fantasy fan. A solid 6 rating - that rating meaning at least 60% of all I've ever seen were lesser than this in some way.

Then again, that's out of at least 10k, so you do the math.

Destiny (2014 Video Game)

Stupendous combat, but not enough around it

[7/10 · 17 June 2016]

Destiny has come a long way since the early days of completely inexplicable story snippets and horrid Dinklebot voicing. The loot system is improved, the character loadout options no longer require a single - often very difficult to obtain - weapon to be in hand for certain activities. The social spaces are not as frustratingly sparse.

What makes Destiny is the combat system. No matter the class or subclass, fighting just flows. The character becomes an extension of the player rather than something one merely manipulates. Using a nova bomb animation to slide around a corner and instantly strike, a long-range death-from-above fist of panic - er, sorry, "havoc" - or whatever it is those hunters do: it feels like crafting your own highlight reel in real time.

Now that we've taken down Oryx and Son, there's a respectable bit of story to be told. But therein lies the problem. With a game this size that requires this much time, there should have been 10 times the story content by now. By the end of the supposed 10-year run, we might end up with one game's worth.

tl;dr Incredibly fun to play. Just don't expect to care about why anything is happening - what little they do say is easily forgotten.

The Rapture (1991)

100-minute Chick tract

[3/10 · 2 June 2016]

I went pretty far out of my way to get my hands on a copy of this one, having been told of its great performances and courageous depictions of controversial subject matter.

Where do I apply for a refund?

Mimi Rogers and David Duchovny's 'sin period' at the beginning was laughable a la "Let's go do some crimes" - except with absolutely no self-awareness.

Their 'good period' in the middle was inadvertent absurdism, seeing them act like a born-again version of the Coneheads, only from the Culty Church of the Inexplicable Young Preacher Boy instead of France.

The 'rapture' was little more than a fog machine, a one-day horse rental and what I can only assume was a severely hung-over script writer.

All three of the stars I'm giving here are for Mimi Rogers, who did a pretty decent job with some truly awful material. Every other actor should be ashamed of themselves for their performance.