nadblaster Reviews

Hannibal (2001)

Not bad

[7/10 · 26 May 2022]

It's not bad, but the comparisons to Silence of the Lambs does it no favors. Visually it looks great - the scenes in Italy are especially beautiful - but the story really suffers from its diversions from the book. In the book we get to follow Hannibal as he lives his free life, and we get to follow him as he follows his urges that make him a villain, and also get to take part in his life of cultured largesse. The movie however paints him merely as a meek museum curator with a secret. The ending especially is a pretty monumental cop-out compared to the big "wow" moment in the book.

Overall though this is worth watching. Anthony Hopkins is still an incredible, sinister villain and the movie is entertaining, it just could have been so much better.

Terra Formars (2014–2016)

Season 1: just plain not good

[4/10 · 5 October 2021]

An incredibly interesting concept that is completely flushed down the toilet by awful execution. The art is pretty good and I liked the technical end of this anime but the writing and characterization were in most cases sub-par and in some cases genuinely bad. Near the end of season 1, I found myself desperately hoping that it would just end, as I just plain didn't care about any of the still-living characters or what they're doing, mainly because frankly they weren't doing anything except for punching monsters in character-unique ways.

In complete fairness, maybe season 2 fixes everything, but I never bothered watching it because season 1 was botched on so many levels. It's not a complete waste of time but I wish I had watched something else.

Terminator: Dark Fate (2019)

What a disaster

[2/10 · 20 September 2021]

Bafflingly bad. You'd think getting Linda Hamilton and Arnold Schwarzenegger back together would at least add an interesting note of drama, but instead they've decided to rewrite Sarah Connor into a bitter, one-liner-spewing b---h and Arnold Schwarzenegger - you know, the original bad-boy Terminator - into a "funny" family man.

Probably most surprising to me was the surprisingly bad CG graphics used in this movie. The first scene has legitimately incredible CG, and every scene afterwards looks fake, overdone, and childish. It is a sad fact that Terminator 2, a movie that is officially 30 years old, had better computer generated graphics than this movie. Almost as bad are all the new characters. Your mileage may vary but I found myself completely unable to care about any of them at all. The new "hero" character is boring, the new "VIP" character is one-dimensional and annoying, and the new villain vacillates wildly between "unfeeling killing machine" and "LMAO so funny and relatable". Sarah Connor herself is now a completely unlikable psycho who is impossible to identify with. I have no idea who wrote this story but they deserve to be fired.

I regret watching this. Hell, Genisys was better by a very large margin.

Buck Breaking (2021)

Hang on a minute

[2/10 · 19 September 2021]

If this is an actual documentary, it's beyond terrible. If this is secretly a satirical comedy, it is absolutely brilliant.

The Stand (2020–2021)

Not a complete waste of time, but...

[5/10 · 16 September 2021]

Take this as a review from someone who read the book, enjoyed but didn't love it, and isn't someone who thinks a movie/TV adaptation needs to be 1:1 perfect.

The show starts out pretty strong, but just gets progressively weaker and weaker with every subsequent episode. The show jumps from character to character in the beginning, which is an interesting choice and at least gives us a bit of insight into each of the main characters' origins and motivations. Alexander Skarsgård is especially charismatic at first in his role as Randall Flagg, and I really loved seeing him onscreen.

Aside from that, every new episode somehow gets worse and worse. Instead of showing New Vegas in a way that shows the evil behind the decadence, the show simply focuses on the hedonistic delight of it until all of a sudden it's portrayed as the worst place possible. I have a feeling that they just ran out of funding as the show moved on, since New Vegas is never really shown outside of the Inferno Hotel, but that's just speculation.

Overall the show, outside of the final episode, is eminently watchable and it's certainly not bad, but it's not great either. A good waste of nine hours... but it IS a waste.

Girl from Nowhere (2017)

Amateurish but interesting

[4/10 · 5 September 2021]

The story goes in a lot of very weird directions, the writing is abysmal, and the characters are one-dimensional, but it's still an okay way to spend an hour and a half. Liza gets a little more interesting as she opens up, but the story itself is disconnected and clearly has absolutely no idea what it's trying to say. Great eye candy in the landscapes, at least; rolling hills, rocky crags and beautiful veldt as far as the eye can see. And Liza isn't that bad to look at either.

The Last of Us: Part II (2020 Video Game)

How to ruin your budding franchise

[3/10 · 23 June 2020]

How to ruin your once-great franchise in four easy steps: Step 1: Introduce a new character that nobody likes, who does something in the beginning of the game that is so awful every single player will feel anger, sadness, and grief. Step 2: Spend the next two hours barraging the player with teen angst and awkward romance, then a clumsy, boring tutorial. Step 3: Let the player forget about Step 1 for awhile by moving hamfisted story to the back burner and letting the player have fun for awhile, then bring that awful character back and force the player to endure several hours of hand-wringing in an attempt to make them like that awful character. Step 4: Pull the biggest rooster-tease of all time with the ending, which will satisfy exactly nobody.

On a technical level the game is incredible, but the writing and characters are so truly terrible it'll leave a bad taste in your mouth you won't forget for a long, long time. Buy it when it goes to $15, or when it's an inevitable pack-in game with the PS5. I've been waiting for this game for seven years and I feel like a complete fool.

John Wick (2014)

A perfect action movie

[9/10 · 13 January 2020]

It's got literally everything that a great action movie needs. A villain who is easy to hate, a hero who isn't exactly a good guy, incredibly well-choreographed and well-thought-out action scenes, cool cars, a cool soundtrack, some interesting lore (The International Hotel is such a cool idea) and cool scenery. I love this movie and if you want to watch a long-haired, sad Keanu Reeves be the baddest mamma jamma on the face of the planet, in interesting and vaguely sinister and settings you are in the right place.

Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker (2019)

Beware Disney's fake reviews

[3/10 · 23 December 2019]

If anyone gives this above a 6/10 they are either trying to "subvert expectations" harder than TLJ did or are being paid by the Mouse. I went into this as a bitterly disappointed Star Wars fan who was genuinely insulted by TLJ, but was hoping that moving directorship back to JJ would mitigate the damage. I wasn't wrong, but it didn't really help.

Dumb, inane and truly insulting writing, plot holes you could fly a Super Star Destroyer through, unbelievably ridiculous action scenes that frankly should not ever have happened, a main character who STILL isn't interesting three movies in and what is easily the least satisfying ending to anything that has the name Star Wars attached to it, and I say that as someone who played Republic Commando.

This is a slap in the face to each and every one of us and this deserves the torpedoing it's going to receive once the Mouse gives up on paying review sites to maintain a decent ratio (seriously, go Google for the current Rotten Tomatoes situation). This is surreal, and if I'm being honest Disney's efforts to keep this movie's rating in the black until they make some money back is a more interesting story than this entire new trilogy.

Fury (2014)

Could have been so much more

[6/10 · 14 December 2019]

The most frustrating part of this entire movie, more than anything else, is that it was so close to greatness, and let a couple of weird lapses in judgment drag it down to "not a total waste of time but not great at all" territory.

There are lots and lots of subtle little things that this movie likes to do that elevate it above most other war movies. The sky is perpetually grey and cloudy, the times the sun shines are extremely rare, and you better believe that that was intentional. The "good guys", the American tankers, are barely-restrained animals, with rotting teeth, frayed clothing, permanent filth in their hair and on their faces, etc. The movie at large does a really great job of showing the more animal side of warfare, insofar as how an extended period of total warfare can twist even the most righteous person into a growling barbarian.

The acting is all well above average, to the last actor. Brad Pitt is a personal favorite and as the weird, violent but caring Wardaddy he is a natural. A total prick, a fierce warrior and a harsh taskmaster, he swings between screaming, slavering killer and protective father figure. Pitt himself did a great job of showing that his character wasn't always that way; there is a scene where his civilization shines through and it's actually touching. Shia LaBoeuf does a top-notch job as the proselytizing "straight man", trying to stay right with God while doing as much damage to the Reich as possible. It's magical and I honestly feel that this is LaBoeuf's best performance of his life. The scenes where the tank crew jokes around and messes with one another are great and do a fantastic job of showing how close five men can get when they live, fight and die together in a closed, dark and dangerous casket like a Sherman.

Why isn't this a 10/10 then? Because for all the amazing stage-setting they do, for all the trials and hardships and laughs we experience with this close-knit tank family, there are a few scenes that are so creatively and fundamentally bankrupt that they completely and utterly obliterate the setting and tone. There is a truly touching and genuinely incredible scene about halfway through the movie, and it makes you think, makes you feel, it's amazing. Then five minutes later there's a huge explosion and that scene is literally destroyed, no reason, no warning. I understand it's probably meant to show how random and senseless war can be, but I left that scene thinking "man, what a waste of time". Maybe it just went over my head though.

Finally, I'm sure there are hundreds of other reviews about this, but the final scene is so unbelievably stupid it boggles the mind, and I am absolutely gobsmacked that this somehow made it past the scriptwriter. In fifteen short minutes all suspensions of disbelief are instantly dismantled and all the stage-setting that was done is hurled out a window. The dumbest, least sensical ending I have ever seen for a war movie, and I've seen some pretty damn dumb movies.

Overall a movie worth watching, but it's more notable for how good it could have been and almost was.

Class (1983)

Worth a watch

[8/10 · 4 December 2019]

It's not perfect but it's a lot better than it really has any right to be, considering the paper-thin plot. It's interesting to see now-famous actors who were just starting out, and there are some parts of this movie that are weirdly striking in just how damn funny they are - there's a scene about 3/4 of the way through the movie, where some unseen random nobody in a crowd does this shrill, mocking laugh and I burst out laughing every single time I think about it (yes, including just now).

It's a dumb 1980s sex-comedy but it might honestly and no exaggerating be close to the pinnacle of the genre. This movie isn't going to change your life or anything but it's really fun to watch.

Grave Encounters (2011)

My favorite indie horror movie ever

[9/10 · 20 August 2019]

I went into this on one of those Netflix nights where you're in the mood for something crappy, and this looked like it fit the bill. Imagine my surprise when it ended up being a genuinely great movie. The acting is genuinely great, the camerawork is excellent, the story is believable, the entire thing is excellent.

In fairness, I wonder if I liked it so much because I had exactly zero expectations going into it, but my opinion remains unchanged. This is a great movie and along with Sinister is one of the most pleasant horror movie surprises I've ever had. Just do yourself a favor and avoid the truly god-awful sequels, because wow are they terrible.

Dope (II) (2017– )

Pretty good

[8/10 · 24 July 2019]

This show is pretty interesting if you're interested in the drug world, or crime stories in general. It's just generally well put together and overall I really enjoy it. There are a few unbelievable stories that feel extremely scripted, but they don't really hurt the general feel or message of the episodes. My only main complaint with the series is that it's becoming increasingly dependent on extremely annoying shots of B-roll while blasting one of four songs, and over the course of the series those weird musical interludes become longer and more common. Feels like a dumb complaint to have about an otherwise entertaining show, but then again, I've heard "Devil's Playground" or "Gimme That Money" at least twenty times each over the course of three seasons. As long as the sound engineer chills out this show will remain one of my Netflix go-tos.

Black Mirror: Smithereens (2019) Season 5, Episode 2

Best episode of Season 5, but that's not saying much

[5/10 · 7 June 2019]

This is easily the most exciting episode of Season 5, but given the weak initial 3 episodes that's not saying much. The story of the episode is genuinely interesting and the characters are easy to grow connected to, and at a couple points I felt real, honest to God tears growing in my eyes, and especially liked a point near the end that showed that people like Mark Zuckerberg are, in fact, still just people. That said however I am pretty disappointed in the lack of that Black Mirror special sauce and am a little concerned about the future of this season.

Black Mirror: Rachel, Jack and Ashley Too (2019) Season 5, Episode 3

Loses the plot halfway through

[3/10 · 7 June 2019]

A pretty interesting beginning act, with lots of the patented Black Mirror techno-horror present, and completely falls apart about halfway through when it turns into a weird, disjointed Disney episode, complete with talking "mascot" character, lots of "comedy" and a bizarre set of twists that almost immediately resolve themselves. Pretty unsatisfying and is easily one of the weakest episodes of Black Mirror as a series.

The Twilight Zone: Not All Men (2019) Season 1, Episode 7

Misandry sure is fun

[1/10 · 16 May 2019]

After watching this episode, one has to wonder what would happen to a TV show if they aired an episode where women were all screaming, violent harpies who hated and killed one another simply because of their nature and the men were innocent, silent victims who bore this burden with a heavy, fearful heart. One also wonders how long it would take for the media to paint the writers of such an episode as criminals and for the collective Internet to dox them/get them fired/harass them until they quit their jobs and went into hiding.

Flinch (2019)

Awful

[2/10 · 12 May 2019]

If you want to watch a gross-out game show, watch Fear Factor. If you want to see a bunch of idiots hurt themselves or each other, watch Jackass. If you want to watch cringey millennials fail at things, watch YouTube. This show is the worst parts of all of those thrown into a blender and the result is just terrible. After Bill Nye's Netflix show I thought they had hit rock bottom but here we are.

Love, Death & Robots: Good Hunting (2019) Season 1, Episode 8

Brings me back to GoldenEye 007 for N64

[7/10 · 27 April 2019]

This is a fantastic episode, which looks great and has a great story. The whole thing is really brought down by the GoldenEye 007 "pain" sound effects. It sounds weird to complain about that one thing but when you're watching an incredible animation job, telling an excellent and touching story, and the one thing they skimped on was better sound effects for pain/effort grunts it'll drag you out of the experience real quick.

I'm not exaggerating, by the way. These are literally the sounds from the N64 GoldenEye game.

The Dirt (2019)

Excellent book adaptation/biography

[8/10 · 23 March 2019]

The Dirt has obviously been thoroughly condensed from long book into short movie form, but it has suffered little and still gets the really big moments across. I do wish they'd spent more time with Mick Mars, but admittedly he's the most boring member of the band so I understand why they didn't.

The actors did a phenomenal job, the writers did a solid job, the entire thing reeks of low-class sex, booze, and rock n' roll and that's exactly what you're there for. In the first three minutes you see gross sex acts, a few boobs, some drug abuse and some violence. Is there any more fitting tribute to Motley Crue?

Ready Player One (2018)

No stakes, all action

[4/10 · 14 March 2019]

If I had never read the book I probably would have really liked this movie, but as someone who thought the book was pretty good (not incredible) this is a let-down. It skips past nearly all of the world- and character-building that the book takes great pains to articulate and instead crams a whole bunch of licensed characters, worlds and names in front of you. A solid 9/10 on the audio-visual front because it looks and sounds fantastic, but it just throws the characters into relationships with one another and does virtually zero storytelling.

Larry Charles' Dangerous World of Comedy (2019)

The first two episodes are excellent

[7/10 · 22 February 2019]

The first two episodes are excellent. They're well-produced, have genuinely funny parts, and are actually pretty touching in a lot of ways. The last two episodes... well, they exist. That's all I'm going to say.

Still a 7/10 because episodes 1 and 2 are genuinely special in a lot of ways.

Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018)

Better than I expected, but not perfect

[7/10 · 17 January 2019]

Full disclosure: I thought The Last Jedi was the worst movie in years, and easily the worst Star Wars movie ever made. That said, Solo is a fun, inoffensive story that is light on the Jedi hand-wringing and heavy on the action, and that is exactly what Disney's Star Wars needed.

The actors, every last one, did a really great job. I might be Harrison Ford's biggest fan and didn't know what to expect from Alden Ehrenreich, and I think he did absolutely fantastic here. The writers didn't, but that's not the actors' faults, and I was very pleased to see in Emillia Clarke that Disney is in fact capable of finding a female lead that is actually likable. The writing is in my opinion a little sub-par, and turns Han Solo from a rough-and-tumble rapscallion who takes it where he can get it into a heart-of-gold victim of society. Solo makes a lot of weird little mistakes (Lando's droid is absolutely insufferably cringeworthy and almost made me turn the movie off) but I forgive it for three reasons:

1: There is a scene that takes place on Kessel which sucks. The immediate scene afterwards is outstanding and is easily one of my favourite Star Wars moments ever. 2: It is better than The Last Jedi by several orders of magnitude. Then again, a round of chemotherapy is better than TLJ, but my point stands. 3: It still has a weird social justice underpinning, but at least it goes precisely one hour before it starts beating you over the head with it.

Other than that, aside from a pretty unsatisfying ending (the penultimate story twist is just so stupid) I enjoyed this movie, and after TLJ I honestly thought I wouldn't ever enjoy Star Wars movies again. Props to Ron Howard and all the actors, because if they can get a couple more movies like this out Star Wars might be cool again one day.

Medal of Honor (2018)

Doesn't do justice to the stories

[4/10 · 16 November 2018]

Leave it to Netflix to take some truly incredible and unbelievably inspirational stories of real heroes and turn it into cheesy, padded-out and lowbrow television. In no way am I trying to besmirch the men they honor in this show but the lame acting, B-grade effects and overdone melodrama really do very little to highlight the stories. Frankly you are better off picking up virtually any book about Medal of Honor recipients because this does a pretty bad job.

Hold the Dark (2018)

Kinda like Alien III but in Alaska

[6/10 · 2 October 2018]

This movie is dense, unintelligible, takes itself way too seriously and ultimately tells a story that eventually leaves you scratching your head. At first viewing, I saw a pretentious, opaque movie the likes of which I haven't seen since the old CBC broadcasts of weird foreign films at midnight. After watching it again I started to see things that make sense in the end but you don't notice on your first viewing, and I found myself enjoying it much, much more as a result. Which is exactly how I felt about Alien III - at first blush it's a dumb, self-absorbed vanity piece, and on subsequent viewings you start to "get it".

Outside of that it's got some excellent production values, some of the best gun-related special effects I've seen in movies, mostly great acting, a really egotistical writer and an otherwise okay movie - the second time around. Your first viewing isn't going to impress you though.

Pornocratie: Les nouvelles multinationales du sexe (2017 TV Movie)

Preachy, biased and disingenuous

[3/10 · 25 September 2018]

Production values are high and the facts aren't wrong, but they are very much skewed through the lens of a clear opponent to the industry. This movie is less about the shape and climate of the porn industry and is more a scathing indictment of it. There are some interesting facts in there - the part about Pornhub's creator rising from nobody to mogul was pretty cool - but the entire thing is just dripping in an overall attitude of "this is barbaric and you're a bad person if you watch porn". This angle runs throughout the entire film and while I could accept it as an opinion it's made very clear very quickly that the presenter thinks this is fact. Overall comes off as a sermon instead of cinema and you can safely avoid it.