hoops-53436 Reviews

A Deadly Threat to My Family (2024 TV Movie)

One of the better LMN movies of 2023 and 2024

[8/10 · 14 May 2024]

First of all let me say that any movie that has both Jessica Morris and Gina Vitori is definitely worth watching. The plot of this movie was one of the better ones we've seen in the past two years. That said, the end of the movie in the cottage with the cult members was a little weird and over the top.

The script worked diligently to make us think that Gina (Serena) harbored evil intent but I had faith that Gina would turn out to be good in the end.

The 'man of the house' was really a tool and did not show his wife true care and we were disappointed that Jessica (Marielle) let him get away with it.

Worth a look.

Dangerous Waters (2023)

Slow moving unthriller

[1/10 · 5 February 2024]

Wow. You could have left about 45 minutes of this crap on the cutting room floor. The story like was OK but it took FOREVER for anything to happen.

Odeya Rush was good in the lead. Too many unbelieveable things- things that would have killed any human in real life were just flesh wounds to the people the writers wanted to keep alive for later.

It's sad that Ray Liotta passed away during the filming but I have a feeling he wouldn't have been especially proud of this movie.

We stuck with it for the entire time but we are sure it would have been a much better movie had they cut out some of the boring nothing happening parts and tightened it up.

The Wrong Life Coach (2024 TV Movie)

How Dumb is Jordan?

[1/10 · 13 January 2024]

That would have been a better name for this movie. Oftentimes you have to forget reality to get into Lifetime Movies but, in this case, one would have to forget all they know about life to get into this one.

You can't blame the cast, there are some good ones here. The problem lies in the script. It's 2024 for goodness sakes. LMN has years and years of experience in these movies. You would think scripts would be getting better and better. Not true in this case.

It's funny- near the half way point our recording went blank and stayed that way for about 5 minutes. My wife said "maybe it's putting us out of our misery." Don't waste your time on this one.

The Girl Who Escaped: The Kara Robinson Story (2023)

Finally a 2023 Lifetime Movie worthy of a 10

[10/10 · 23 August 2023]

Wow! This movie was amazing. Katie Douglas did a top notch job as Kara R. The actors playing Sgt. Jennings, Lt. Rowland, and Sheriff Price were also star worthy.

I noticed one reviewer who wished to see more of the trauma the girl suffered- my gosh, there is already plenty of that on other movies.

Another reviewer says it was sugar coated.

A little research reveals that this movie wasn't just inspired by actual events, it stuck to the facts of the real life abduction. Kara Robinson (now Chamberlain) says that she acted and reacted exactly as Katie portrayed.

I loved the part that demonstrated that Kara (Katie) was the adult and her mother was the child.

A great movie with some great performances. The big takeaway from the movie is that, in life, not everyone reacts to trauma the same- and we are in error if we try to pigeonhole each person's responses as needing to be the same.

Trapped in the Cabin (2023 TV Movie)

Wow! A Double Header

[1/10 · 21 August 2023]

Two number ones for the price of one. First, the dumbest pretext for a movie ever! The agent being the aggressor. Even with that terrible premise, it could have been a much better movie had they kept his identity secret for a while- could have built the suspense a lot more.

Second, the dumbest woman ever on a Lifetime movie! She knows the handyman for what- 5 minutes- and has wild shower sex with him. She furthers the stupidity by (after thinking he trashed the cabin and went through her stuff) by crying and moaning about "losing" him. Then, when the masked maniac is outside the cabin she LEAVES the cabing and runs right into him.

But she does make one miraculous recovery. She is limping around on her injured right foot and then she ends up giving Jason several vicious kicks with the miraculously cured right foot, but then she ends up limping again as if it's broken.

And, the fight scene at the end- pure malarky. And Jason's miraculous recovery to attack her again- terrible. Jason also is not a very good shot.

SKIP THIS WORTHLESS JUNK.

From Paris with Danger (2023 TV Movie)

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

[7/10 · 20 August 2023]

Really likes Shifra Zuckerman- nice to see teenagers- not 20 somethings trying to be teens.

Decent movie, but so little reality in it. 18 year old American escapes- not once, not twice, not three times, but four times. And she does it so easily. Definite escape from reality. She escapes from the American Embassy, she escapes from a Paris Police station, she escapes from a police woman who has a gun, and then she escapes from a killer who knows he will die if he doesn't kill her. And each escape was easier than the last. More realism in these scenes would have gotten the movie a higher score. It gets a 7 for Shifre.

Secrets of a University (2023 TV Movie)

Not a likable or relatable character in the bunch

[2/10 · 5 August 2023]

Who wrote this drivel? Better question: who cast this drivel? The is not a likable character in the bunch. Each of them was snide, cruel, self-centered and selfish. Overacting seems to be the only qualification for inclusion in this cast.

You'd think that in 2023 with all the movies being made that LMN could come up with something better than this. Please give us at least one character that we care about. Maybe we were supposed to care about Eliza, but she was sooooo dumb, she just kept digging the hole deeper and deeper. And she made the dumbest decisions, decisions that would have sunk anyone's career- and she made them with her eyes wide open.

We gave this movie the full time to show us some reason to care, but it failed on all fronts.

Sins of the Preacher's Wife (2023 TV Movie)

Boyd says, "Do it for the family...."

[1/10 · 2 July 2023]

...Tell them not to watch this stinker!

Anna Marie Dobbins is one of my favorites, but this is not the vehicle she should have chosen for 2023. Terrible script, horrible acting, and a premise that is just out of left field. Even someone like Anna could not save this horrible film.

It would appear that whoever cast this movie just went to some little town and grabbed people off the street to be the actors. The sheriff was comical, Jim and Marion need to go to acting class and Dan was just a tool.

I don't think this plot line would have a chance to be a decent one- no matter what.

Every year we hope for Lifetime movies to get better but, for the most part, we are sadly disappointed.

Nanny Dearest (2023 TV Movie)

Ugh.

[1/10 · 27 May 2023]

Just after I got done praising Lifetime for finally having a good movie (The Man with My Husband's Face) in 2023, they come out with this stinker. I can honestly say it is the first Lifetime movie my wife and I have ever shut off in the middle. It was pure crap and life is short.

The acting was pitiful and the story line was, well, even more pitiful. The mother (not the biological mother- the other one) was so over the top with her actions and reactions (can you say over-emote?) And the crappy opening with the boyfriend falling asleep on top of the baby, killing her, and then burying her in the back yard?!? C'mon, could we come up with something with a little bit of believability??

Don't waste your time with this crap- I'm glad we had the good sense to shut it off before we lost too much time.

The Man with My Husband's Face (2023 TV Movie)

Finally, A Great New Lifetime Movie

[9/10 · 22 May 2023]

It's about time. We have been watching and hoping for one of the 2023 releases to be good and we have been utterly disappointed...until now. This was a very good movie with a very good plot- and a couple of twists that kept even us guessing right up until the end.

The movie held our attention all the way through and we were as baffled by the twists as Katrina was. Katie Page did an excellent job of playing the two faced mistress and I was stunned when she turned out to be not the person Katrina and I thought she was.

This is a must watch movie, although it would not be good a second time through as all the twists would be known. Watch it!

The Dead Girl in Apartment 03 (2022)

Silly

[1/10 · 7 May 2023]

I can't just write silly and I am afraid if I write silly 100 times (to cover the 600 character minimum) they won't accept it....or maybe figure I came from the movie The Shining.

This is a miserable piece of crap that should not be shown. It seems anyone can make a film these days and subject poor viewers to an hour and a half of misery.

I taught middle school and my middle schoolers could have taken the first ten minutes of this film and made it into a really good movie. Since I am teacher I will grade: Casting- F Acting- F Writing- F Plot- F Directing- F I would not want my name on any credit for this miserable excuse for a movie.

Horizon Line (2020)

Famous words from "Airplane"- I say let em crash

[1/10 · 5 May 2023]

Never have I ever....seen a dumber movie.

The acting was atrocious, the characters were unlikeable, the story just plain couldn't work due to the laws of physics, gravity, and nature. Multiple choice for the dumbest (because it just couldn't happen) part of the movie: A) Jackson climbing out of the plane and crawling around then FIXING THE GAS LINE WITH LOOSELY APPLIED DUCT TAPE B) Jackson (probably 185 pounds) free falling and being pulled by one hand back into the plane by Sara (what maybe 125 pounds or so) and not strapped down C) Sara pulling herself along the wing (they should've used a stronger fan) the wind would be whipping much more violently D) the plane flying for 30-35 minutes on 5% fuel E) 3 liters of rum raising the fuel level by 15% F) the seat belt flying the plane for several minutes (they should have had Otto from "Airplane" G) ALL OF THE ABOVE

Favorite lines that should have been struck from the script "You got this" and "You're amazing.

Road Trip Hostage (2023 TV Movie)

Slow Moving Snoozer

[2/10 · 30 April 2023]

I had high hopes for this movie, but now wonder 'who wrote this crap?' No thrills, no scares, no excitement....just boredom on and on and on. And no cop would ever let the mom of a hostage victim ride along and run up to crime scenes and ruin some evidence. And c'mon, the mom-not the cop- does the talking to the bad guy at the end?

Research shows that this might be the first movie for Veronica Ramirez. If so, it was a very poor vessel for her debut. She looked good early with the dancing and dialogue. I would like to see more of her, but in something that would allow her to show some versatility. Don't waste your time on this boring stinker- I am sorry that I did.

Falling for a Killer (2023)

This had lots of potential....but got stupid

[4/10 · 23 April 2023]

The first hour or so of this movie was pretty good- up until about the time of the duck dinner. We have heard a lot of killers go off on a tangential soliloquy about their reasoning for why they are doing what they are doing, but Thomas in this movie takes the cake. On and on and on he goes. Maybe he had to explain everything because the movie was disjointed.

And then the poison that worked so well on the maid barely slowed Thomas down. At least it gave the mother a chance to throw in some really ridiculous one-liners.

Finally, the last little segment introducing viewers to Thomas's brother- well, that was over the top and they had Darcy go all ga-ga over him.

One can only pray that this was not a setup for a sequel.

Chaos on the Farm (2023 TV Movie)

Don't know where to start

[2/10 · 18 April 2023]

So many improbable things you have to buy into to have this movie even seem possible. No pictures of the Aunt and Uncle. No one worried when none of the messages were returned. An attorney who would not deliver the check (that's something they get paid for.) Sam discovers a body and then runs into the house to hide with the women. Car battery dies for no known reason. When Jessica decides to head back to the house, she could have gotten the sheriff's gun or just used his radio that was attached to his shoulder- but instead she got his car keys. When she got to the cruiser, the hood was up so she should have known it wouldn't start, but she tried anyway, not thinking about the noise the car starting would make or apparently even thinking about Sam.

And then, when she is in the cellar "in fear for her life" she pauses to have a poignant moment looking at pictures of her aunt and uncle.

It was like Lifetime told someone- we have X amount of money- go make a movie somehow.

She Inherited Danger (2023)

What a disappointment

[2/10 · 16 March 2023]

I was so looking forward to seeing a new Sarah Fisher movie but, like the theater in the film, this movie just doesn't sell. The story line was just too ridiculous. And too many of the characters were soooo flawed. A real estate 'gang' that will stop at nothing to get the properties they want (although, as yet, they have acquired no properties whatsoever.) The sad part is that their 'enforcer' (Jimmy) must have come from the gang that couldn't shoot straight. He bungled everything he tried.

And Blake was such a smart-mouthed punk that you end up hoping he was evil so he would get his come-uppence in the end.

There was no suspense in this movie and, had I looked at it as a comedy, I might have given it a 6. As it is, it gets a 2 (only because it had Sarah Fisher in it) and Sarah is at the point of her career that she should have better scripts from which to choose. Not worth a watch.

Til Ex Do Us Part (2018)

This movie should have been titled "How Dumb is Kyle?"

[1/10 · 6 March 2023]

Kyle, supposedly a kind, caring, honest person, goes off the deep end when his neighbor says she is pregnant and the baby is his. He believes her from the start and doesn't bother with details that level headed people would have demanded, simple things like: evidence that the baby is his, proof that she is pregnant (and showing a pregnancy test is not proof- she could have pulled it out of someone's garbage.) Instead, he immediately goes to his wife (with whom he is getting ready to get back together) and tells her about it AT HER OFFICE DURING THE WORK DAY!

And Emma (Kyle and Sophia's beautiful daughter) never seems to get too upset when she finds our about the "baby" and the trouble it is causing. She is more concerned with getting a boy to like her and getting a convertible for her birthday.

Besides Kyle there seems to be some other dumb ones in this movie.

The only reason to watch this would be to marvel at the stupidity built into the characters.

Revenge Best Served Chilled (2022 TV Movie)

The music....my gosh....the music!

[2/10 · 4 March 2023]

I tried to really tune into the movie, I really did, but the music was soooo distracting! Whoever did the music must have thought there had to be music every single second and that every single scene had to be ominous. And loud. Middle school students could have done a better job of the musical score for this one.

IF you can get past the music, the director's focus on making the "American Wine Academy" seem snobbish is over the top. As, by the way, is Chad.

The plot is thin and very slow developing. And the shirtless guy sitting on Emily's bed is annoying. But like and LMN woman, the lady was willing. But, as it did in so many other scenes, the music ruined the 'love' scene.

Even if you an get past the music, this stinker ain't worth the time.

You Can't Escape Me (2023 TV Movie)

Gina Vitori is a wonderful actress

[9/10 · 19 February 2023]

We had enjoyed Gina as Willa in "Deadly Girls Night Out" and as Eve in "In Love With My Partner's Wife." As Erin in this movie, Gina does an admirable job, showing a range of emotions. One of the things we liked the most was the scenes where she was working in the gym on self defense. Too many times in LMN movies, when they try to show a game or a sport, it is obvious that the actors portraying the athletes really have no ability in that sport or game. In this case, the scenes were very realistic. One must surmise that Gina is into that action in real life.

Alex Trumble does a credible job as the scumbag, although the bar for being a scumbag is relatively low.

You know that there is going to be a showdown and you are anxious to see the scumbag get his comeuppance. Does he? Watch this interesting movie to find out.

Spinning Out of Control (2023 TV Movie)

Over the top...like way over the top

[2/10 · 12 February 2023]

As much as I like Kelcie Stranahan, she should have declined this role. The character was completely unbelievable. Hopefully she got a good payday from this stinker.

Along the LMN formula, the police were inept and unhelpful.

The scene where the Lt. Introduced himself to Leah in Tom's hospital room, they reached across him lying in bed to shake hands and then continued to have a conversation over the top of the comatose man. I think in reality, cops would have taken Leah aside and spoken to her away from Tom's bed.

The violent nature of the film and the attacks did not seem to indicate anything- to the cops, to the parole officer, or to Leah and her colleagues.

I wish I had avoided this one. I watched it because Kelcie was in it. If I had skipped it, I would still have a positive impression of her acting.

My Landlord Wants Me Dead (2023 TV Movie)

A bright spot but so many problems

[5/10 · 7 February 2023]

Well, some good some bad. Where to start? Three glaring mistakes- more than I have seen in any Lifetime movie. (See the goofs section for those.) The Paul character is just too over the top. Kind of like an 8th grader trying to fill a role as a crazed lunatic. Not believable whatsoever.

The plot was passable but so disconnected from reality. Layla comes to visit but never stays the night- and always leaves after dark. A sure LMN formula for disaster.

Maddie hits Paul three times with a shovel but does not bother to finish him off, I guess she is planning that the authorities will get there before he gets her. But this is another part of the LMN formula- when the good guys (or gals) have the opportunity to finish off the baddie, they never do.

Another part of the LMN formula is that the female will hit the bed with a guy she hardly knows, and the sooner the better. Maddie fulfilled that part of the formula. (Also seems that Kaycee had done likewise.) The bright spot was Emily Roslyn Villarreal. Nice to look at, played the part well with appropriate emotion. She is the reason for the 5 star. Otherwise this movie would have been a 1 or a 2.

Assailant (2022)

what a miserable piece of crap- should get 0 stars

[1/10 · 25 January 2023]

Don't waste your time, unless your into purposeless violence and inanity. The plot of this movie is total crap and people do things that no one in real life would do.

The villain is not believable and the couple are shallow. Gratuitous violence is the only thing this film has to offer and maybe that is what the writer and director is going for.

Find a better use of your hour and a half or so and knit, or shovel snow, or do your taxes, or just sit mindlessly and stare out the window. Any of those activities would be better uses of your time than this movie.

We should have been smart enough to turn it off after the intro.

Sinister Seduction (2019)

Shoulda been called "Mama Can't Keep it in Her Pants"

[2/10 · 19 January 2023]

Wow. After hundreds of Lifetime Movies, most of which feature women who jump into bed with someone she only met a few minutes ago, this one left us dumbfounded. We find out early that "Sharon" had an affair with another real estate agent while her husband was still alive. Not long after she has intercourse with a high school friend of her son. Willingly, I might add. Then she does it again- quite willingly. SMH "Dylan" was totally unbelievable- both as a villain...and as a mama lover. Casting on him was laughable.

Plot was weak and the premise behind all of this was, at best, questionable. To believe that a kid would go to all those extremes to avenge an unrequited love of his father's is too much of a stretch.

Don't waste your time on this one...

Honeymoon (2014)

WARNING!! Don't waste your time

[1/10 · 14 January 2023]

The perfect formula for an hour and a half of totally wasted time.

Terrible script and story, terrible acting, and just a mess.

It seems like the writer and director must have known it was a waste so they desperately tried to hold your attention with the totally gross vaginal bleeding and then the extraction of some kind of mess from the girl's "womb." Funny how that word came out early in the film.

Even though the whole premise was miserable, once the ending was near, the film could have been saved in a number of ways, but the writers evidently were not creative and just went with whatever fell out of their heads.

NO! DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME ON THIS MISERABLE LOSER!

My Sister's Serial Killer Boyfriend (2023 TV Movie)

OMG Could have been a good movie

[4/10 · 13 January 2023]

Let's start with the casting. Seriously?- the 52 year old Rib Hillis playing the guy the 20 something Revell Carpenter falls in love with?? There has to be some younger, more attractive actors that could have been cast in that role. Would be much more believable.

And Maddie sets the new record for climbing (not in bed this time, but still climbing) on a guy for sex when she has known him for, what, 10 minutes? Cmon. And the Jack angle is simply too unbelievable. He served absolutely NO purpose in this story. Guess they had to fill in some time.

Also, bring some reality. When it showed Maddie in the garage with the running car, she looked in and saw her purse and the car key fob laying on the seat. Impossible! Smart keys are smarter than people, they don't let themselves get locked in.

With some work (and a couple doses of reality) this could have been a good movie.