A Secret Love (2020) User Reviews

Watch this to melt your heart

[mandhfrost · 9/10 · 1 May 2020]

As a middle age suburban woman who is open minded but doesn't know many gay couples,this documentary was BEAUTIFUL. I laughed, I cried! Love is Love!

Beautiful documentary of love, prejudice, and growing old

[fewald139 · 8/10 · 29 April 2020]

"You kind of broke the rules your whole life." "Yes, I have," Terry replies. "That's why I'm happy."

A Secret Love is a documentary about the love of two women--Pat and Terry--that started in 1947 and continues to this day, regardless of the limited time mortality gave them. It gives backstory for both these remarkable women, and it also delves into the history of prejudice in regards to LGBT couples (one example being bar raids which were efforts to apprehend possible LGBT people by judging their attire). The documentary is filmed in the late 2010s, covering the end-of-life plans of the couple and giving us their history along the way.

Pat and Terry's story is beautiful, as is the love their most open-minded family members give them as they grow comfortable with coming out completely in an era where it's acceptable. A Secret Love should also be commended for its focus on the heart-breaking reality that all lives must come to an end, and we must adequately prepare for that. The couple's move from their own home to assisted living is documented here, as is the crushing decision to go through all their belongings and decide how to part with them.

A Secret Love isn't a comprehensive documentary on the history of LGBT prejudice in America, but it is a personal and intimate look at two amazing women who had to hide who they truly were most of their lives in order to be happy. At times heart-breaking but always beautiful, A Secret Love at least promises a happy ending to seven decades of dedicated love between these two. If you have any interest in true love stories or LGBT history in America, A Secret Love is worth your time.

I almost never give a 10

[ShaunV1990 · 10/10 · 1 May 2020]

I'm a 30 year old, cigar smoking, fully tattooed guy. I never cry. I cried through this documentary. Not because it was all romantic. But because it was so real. I was moved by the honesty in this documentary. It was about forbidden love, but also about letting go. Just one little remark was that Pat was maybe slightly portrayed as someone who wasn't always honest and authentic. I just saw a woman who always was used to be in control and was maybe jealous about the intense bond Terry had with her family. But you could tell she loved Terry with all her heart. She clearly had trouble with letting go of the control. I believe Terry knew this. God, thank you for sharing this beautiful story. I do hope the family is still in touch with Pat and still taking care of her.

A story about love and only love.

[audreyclark-86093 · 10/10 · 29 April 2020]

Yes, these incredible women had to defy the odds in their time of age when society was so against them and their community. They are so incredibly strong and influential for doing that. But the story is ultimately about the love that two people share for each other despite anything else. I was so incredibly touched by this story because at the end of the day when you're old and grey the only thing that matters most in life is that you shared it with the person that makes you happy and your family. This documentary perfectly conveys that.

Endearing & Enduring Tale of Love...

[Xstal · 7/10 · 1 May 2020]

... about two sprightly ladies overcoming the prejudice of generations to be together. Hopefully this goes someway to removing those prejudices, indeed any prejudice that continues to exist today, through the joy of two people in love with each other. Also a documentary about them growing older, the dilemmas of friends and family on how best to support them as they do - has parallels and dilemmas that we will all have to face sometime, that is if we're not facing them already.

Love is Love

[slawhoa · 10/10 · 1 May 2020]

Love is beautiful. This is a must watch and a lesson to all of us that we only have 1 life to live so live it as best you know and with love

Could have been done better

[christinafisher-18669 · 7/10 · 30 April 2020]

Although their life story is undoubtedly amazing I think the documentary focuses too much time on their present day life, the issues that come along with aging and family issues as a result. They had maybe 15 mins total of story telling from when they met and their first few years but completely glossed over the other 60+ years. I wanted to hear more about their lives when they were young in Chicago having to keep their love a secret.

A TRUE story of love and endurance

[bstaples-55862 · 10/10 · 30 April 2020]

Amazing Story. Good work Netflix. The say goes, 'There is no crying in baseball', but that certainly doesn't count while watching this very moving story. Very powerful and touching story of devotion and love. The poems Pat wrote to Terry are so moving, not a dry eye in the room.

Wanted more of the past

[srgymrat33 · 7/10 · 1 May 2020]

This movie was well done . It was a great story of love and loss and growth and family . It was also very very focused on the challenges of growing old and family dynamics, financial strain and the fear of letting go of the life you have known and loved . This is all great and interesting however ...

I found myself really wanting to know and hear way way more about Terris time in the baseball league , about what it was like being gay in the 50s and 60s Chicago , how this was navigated , more stories from when they were young , more about the journey .

It was good . Love is love . It's great they told their families . It's great they lived a good life and are making a documentary together at 90. But what makes this so unique along with being together for 70 years , is the fact they were pioneers in many respects and THIS is what could have made this great . But it came up short . Watch it but go in expecting more a documentary about old age and end of life care rather than the life they lived together.

Beautiful yet heartbreaking. Just bittersweet

[gamead-92067 · 10/10 · 2 May 2020]

Just watched this beautiful documentary and I am bawling my eyes out! Such a lovely story omg :( This is what I call true love!! These two ladies are queens af!! I bow down to them!

"No regrets. I'd do it all over again. I think love is love and it's the most important thing."

Misleading, to me

[susan-191 · 6/10 · 20 June 2020]

I know I'm in the minority and the love story was beautiful and well told- what little there was of that. But I felt like the the niece was running their lives and bullying her aunt's partner into a move she didn't want to make. I thought I was going to watch a lovely and explicative film on love but it was heavily and upsettingly focussed on old age, deterioration and family making decisions that ignored the wishes on one partner.

A sweet film, it will touch your heart

[pik923 · 4/10 · 2 June 2020]

But....so much is missing from their story. so much repetition and concentrating on their older years is fine however with all the photos that appear and letters - their story except for highlights isn't really told. it left me with a big awwwwww isn't this wonderful but honestly? the meat and potatoes were left out. I don't want to critique the film further as it would contain spoilers - so I have to be very careful in what I write - the bottom line is - too much is missing. the trailer is misleading in many ways. and yet of course it touches the heart it's a lovely love story - but you could have done so much more with that. I wonder what is on the editing floor as they say.

Pretty Much Perfect

[torijoyous-69964 · 9/10 · 30 April 2020]

This film was engaging from the get-go and stayed good throughout. I got goosebumps many times, and my husband cried a lot. A beautiful story that kept us so interested from beginning to end.

Incredible love story

[lmcampbell-35242 · 10/10 · 1 May 2020]

The trailer for this documentary alone made me so emotional. As a lesbian myself I was so excited to watch it. It was heartbreaking that they had to keep their love a secret for that long. But they had each other, and that was enough for them. When Pat said "what does Terry mean to me, well she means everything to me" with tears in her eyes, I lost it. That's the kind of love that everyone hopes and dreams for. This documentary was so beautifully done. Bravo!!

More About End of Life Care

[rachelnstephens · 7/10 · 15 June 2020]

I found this movie to be well done, but for an unexpected reason - it showed that no matter the type of person, in the end, getting care for the elderly is tough. People don't want to leave their friends, their homes, their Independence, or have other people meddling in their finances. Most of all, many elderly don't want to come to terms with the fact that they need help.

I really felt for Pat - she lost everyone at a young age, almost as if she was a death magnet, and then she's seen as the mean one who took Terri away from "the family." I think she wanted to have her own life rather than just be the outsider at Terri's family events. This is relatable to any couple where the majority of time is spent with one family of origin over the other.

This didn't feel like a LGBT documentary because while the women are lesbians, they didn't really go into depth about their relationship together or how they even knew they were gay, especially during the age they lived in.

My biggest question was why did they sleep in separate beds? Did they ever want a family? How did they live behind closed doors? The movie, regardless of the wedding scene made them seem like really good friends to the end, rather than romantic lovers.

Beautiful story

[mandysanford · 10/10 · 6 June 2021]

Despite meeting and being together when it wasn't allowed, these women didn't allow anything to keep them apart. And yes, of course, I cried!

Beautiful Story!

[annette-87536 · 7/10 · 4 May 2020]

Love this story. Their love story is beautiful! I was hoping it would be more about when they met, their courtship and the earlier years. Still heartwarming!!

A sercret love

[u-32187 · 8/10 · 28 May 2020]

I've read a lot of books, but I've never read a story about a woman falling in love with another woman. I hope you feel the same way. It's one of the most beautiful notes Pat ever wrote to me

The hero of this story

[jimbenben · 7/10 · 14 May 2020]

My partner and I have been together almost 40 years, so you would think I would closely identify with the gay couple. But I am also the son of elderly difficult parents, so my heart went out to the niece Diana in the story. Just like my parents, Pat and Terry are stubborn and unrealistic about their situation as they age with declining health. They don't appreciate the sacrifice of their niece traveling back-and-forth from Canada to Chicago. I cheered when Diana finally had her meltdown. My advice based on years of experience: don't wait until a crisis to make plans as you age. Be realistic about your needs for help and be grateful to those who provide it.

humans in love at it's most profound, what everybody in life wishes for

[m-hiortpetersen · 10/10 · 4 May 2020]

This love story is one of the most pure and real, probably ever made, nothing in it is made-up or superficial. It is just pure and simple love and family and more love. Imagine being with the person you love for over sixty years and have to call one another cousin instead of wife or partner. Imagine being lucky enough to have someone to love for that long. This movie is touching and beautiful and very very human.

Love Is Love 💗

[vivianla · 28 May 2020]

This tells the life story of two women going through the difficult times when lesbians were not accepted to today where they eventually got married.

It shows the difficulties of marriage and being lesbians. They have to inquire for accommodations for lesbians and deal with the societal views of their love.

Family members and loved ones judge and do not wholly accept their relationship.

These two women were in baseball league teams in a time when women were taught to be dainty and went to charm school. In the 40s they had to be extra careful not to reveal that their relationship was beyond friendship. One woman was born in 1928. Their names are Pat and Terry. They had to wear skirts with shorts underneath while playing baseball.

There is a caring family member who cries for Terry's worsening health - Terry becomes 100 lbs and has a tremor where her hand keeps shaking. Pat stubbornly does not want to move to a safer place for her partner despite having over a million dollars.

Lovely story

[fany_tazzz · 7/10 · 3 May 2020]

Such a lovely story. I enjoy every Terry's story. And I know it's a true love

Beautiful Love Story

[kb-30236 · 10/10 · 27 May 2021]

This documentary brought tears to my eyes several times. These two women broke all the rules, stayed true to their hearts, and lived the lives they wanted. That took COURAGE! What a beautiful story.

A Beautiful Love Story !

[javierubio · 10/10 · 5 November 2020]

This Documentary really blew off my mind! Very good direction, a beautiful heartbreaking where 2 women have been together in a relationship where love is founded and no matter other problems continued with their devotion together! This is what I call a good group pf professionals to deliver an outstanding story and even with real persons inserted in the story! Each phase and each narration brought more interest to the story so the author and director got all my respect on this one! Good for them!

A thoughtful documentary

[rolbyh2002 · 7/10 · 10 November 2020]

I turned this on late one night to help myself fall asleep... and then I ended up staying awake instead because the story was so thoughtful and moving. It's a story an elderly lesbian couple and how their love and hardship unfolded throughout the years. Love is love.