Mighty Med (TV Series)
Frighty Med (2013)
Jake Short: Oliver
Photos
Quotes
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Kaz : Ugh. Oliver, your backpack stinks!
Oliver : I know. Stop putting your gym shoes in here.
Kaz : Where else am I gonna put them, in my backpack? They stink!
Oliver : You know what else stinks, by the way? The advice you gave me about my dad.
Kaz : Oh, why? What happened?
Oliver : Well, I know he doesn't like the theater, so I told him I was in a play.
Kaz : Ah, what play?
Oliver : That's what he said. And since I wasn't prepared for him to ask, I was like "Um... um... um." So now he thinks that's the title of the play.
Kaz : What could a play called "um, um, um" possibly be about?
Oliver : That's what he said. And since we're reading Frankenstein in English class, I told him it was about Frankenstein, but the monster says his name like "UM... UM... UMMM"
Kaz : Frankenstein? That's so played out. Why would a bunch of high school kids wanna go see that?
Oliver : That's what he said! So I told him it was an updated version set in the White House.
Kaz : Oh, that actually sounds good. I'd like to see that.
Oliver : That's what he said! So on Friday, he wants to go to a play that does not exist! What am I gonna do? He's gonna know I'm lying.
Kaz : Well, Oliver, when you're caught in a lie, there's only one thing to do,
Oliver : Tell the truth?
Kaz : No! Pile an even bigger lie on top of the first lie. My brother taught me that.
Oliver : The brother who's in jail?
Kaz : You'll have to be more specific.
Oliver : Well, I really hate lying, but I can't tell my dad about Mighty Med. So I guess I'll have to write and produce an entire school pay by Friday, which means I can't work at Mighty Med, so my dad doesn't find out I work at Mighty Med.
Kaz : It's pretty funny when you think about it.
Oliver : No, it's not.
Kaz : Well... It's pretty funny when I think about it.
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[first lines]
[Oliver is playing a video game in The Domain]
Oliver : Man, I'm getting really good at this! I should be a demon hunter in real life. That or a high school teacher.
Kaz : Oh, go with the demon hunter. They deal with fewer demons.
Oliver : [Oliver gets a call] Oh, no. It's my dad. He keeps asking where I go after school every day and I can't tell him about our job.
[Kaz wears a scary mask]
Oliver : Kaz!
Kaz : What? Do I have something on my face?
Oliver : This is serious. What am I gonna tell my dad?
Kaz : Just tell your dad you're hanging out here.
Oliver : He doesn't want me coming here. He thinks all this superhero stuff is a waste of time.
Kaz : Oh, and like what he does is so important.
Oliver : He's a brain trauma researcher.
Kaz : Just tell your dad you're hanging out at my house.
Oliver : I can't. He also doesn't want me hanging out with you. He thinks you're reckless, out of control, and never take responsibility for your own actions.
Kaz : One time you go home with half of your head shaved and suddenly I'm reckless? And I take responsibility for my actions.
[accidentally throws a controller and knocks over an action figure]
Kaz : Wasn't me. He did it.
[theme song starts]
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Kaz : [holding a Brain Matter action figure] There. Brain Matter is good as new.
Oliver : His head is on backwards.
Kaz : Well, then he's better than new. He now has the power to see his own butt.
Gus : [enters The Domain with Jordan] Oliver, Kaz, help us settle an argument. This snake looks poisonous, right?
[opens a shoebox]
Oliver : Gus, there's nothing in there.
Gus : Uh oh. This is terrible! Now we'll never be able to settle our argument.
Jordan : Gus, we're not having an argument. You're talking to yourself and I'm listening to a book on tape.
Kaz : I wonder why they stopped making Brain Matter comicbooks and movies. There hasn't been one in years.
Oliver : Oh, no. I know that look. You're gonna search obsessively for the answer to a totally unimportant question.
Jordan : Yeah, even if it means abandoning your schoolwork, your friends, and your already shaky commitment to showering.
Kaz : Okay, A, everybody's already trying to answer the important questions, and B, I showered on Tuesday. A week ago Tuesday.
Gus : I remember. You smelled great that day.
Oliver : [gets a call] Excuse us for a moment.
[pulls Kaz aside]
Oliver : My dad just texted me where are you? Maybe I should just come clean and tell him about...
[whispering]
Oliver : the thing.
Kaz : All right. Here's what you do. You make up an after-school activity, something that sounds productive so he'll get off your case, but so boring he won't ask for details.
Oliver : That's actually a good idea, Kaz. Where'd you come up with that?
Kaz : Oh, in alibi club. Yeah, and if anybody asks, that's where I am right now.
Gus : Help settle another argument? How many times a year does the average person go to the bathroom? I say six.
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Oliver : Jordan, Gus, I need a favor. You have to help me put on a play by tomorrow.
Jordan : Why?
Oliver : So my dad doesn't keep asking me where I go after school every day.
Jordan : Where do you go after school every day?
Oliver : I have got to start preparing for follow-up questions. Uh, I-I have a job. I-I work, um... making sandwiches. At a sandwich shop. But I have to keep it a secret from my father.
Gus : Why wouldn't you want your father to know you make sandwiches?
Oliver : He hates sandwiches, okay? He hates sandwiches and I love them
[choked up]
Oliver : and it's tearing our family apart.
[normal]
Oliver : Now, will you help me out on this play or not?
Jordan : Absolutely, but only because I'm sure it'll be terrible and there's nothing more delightful than watching a friend fail.
Gus : Then why don't you like me more?
Jordan : I said watching a *friend* fail.
Gus : Fair enough. Well, I'll do it too, but only if you bring free sandwiches. And hold the mayo.
Oliver : Fine.
Gus : No, seriously. Hold the mayo.
[he holds out his backpack and Oliver pulls out a jar of mayo]
Gus : Thank you. This backpack's so much lighter with only one jar of mayo in it.
