Ship of the Damned (2024) User Reviews

Slowed down by a sluggish narrative...

[paul_haakonsen · 4/10 · 9 June 2024]

Stumbling upon the 2024 movie "Ship of the Damned" by random chance, I must say that I was immediately drawn to the movie given its cover. However, I had never heard about the movie, and I wasn't really harboring big expectations to writer and director Steve Lawson. But still, I opted to give him the benefit of the doubt and opted to check out the movie.

The storyline in the movie was a bit bland. There simply wasn't enough momentum or forward drive to the narrative to keep it overly interesting or entertaining. Sure, it was watchable, but it was mundane and somewhat boring. And that made sitting through 85 minutes of it somewhat of a test of wills.

I wasn't familiar with the actors and actresses on the cast list in the movie. And that is actually something that I do enjoy when I sit down to watch a movie. It should be noted that the acting performances in the movie were actually fair.

Needless to say that the movie's cover was far more interesting than the contents of the actual movie. But I was actually expecting that, so it wasn't really a surprise.

It was difficult to buy into the illusion that the movie was supposed to take place aboard an ancient ship, because it felt like a makeshift studio with a few wooden plates put together and some rope tossed casually over the wooden plates.

"Ship of the Damned" is suitable for a single viewing, though it is hardly a movie that I would recommend for you to rush out and get to watch. Nor is it a movie that I will ever return to watch a second time.

My rating of "Ship of the Damned" lands on a four out of ten stars.

Not very good at all.

[Otkon · 3/10 · 10 June 2024]

The plot is very amateurish. But that never really matters. Nor does the really cheesy set that is supposed to be the innards of a pirate ship. Then the movie just becomes a matter of the ancient crew and the modern preservationist lady spending hours kickboxing or something. There is really nothing to describe as really nothing happens.

There are some dumb scenes that are supposed to show rituals or backstory about how the ship and crew survived so long and were slightly educated regarding modern times. Yet nothing goes anywhere. Because everything is confined to the cheap set. With no plot! And zero tension.

Hot ex-boyfriend who invited preservationist lady to investigate the ship hides like a scaredy-cat for most of the movie. Then he doesn't. And that pans out as well as expected.

After that, the movie ends stupidly. In the presence of orange slices. Arrr, there be no entertainment here, mateys.

Strong female lead and plot holes for modern audiences

[tommaguzzi · 2/10 · 14 June 2024]

I was hoping for better but it became apparent as soon as the strong female lead's useless male ex partner turned up that I was watching a film made for modern brain dead audiences. The idea for a horror story was good, a 400 year old wooden ship washes up on the coast. Then from that moment it all falls apart. There plot holes so big you could sail a gallion through them. Here are just a few of them.

The coast guard towed it ashore, how? Surely someone had to board it to secure the lines and would then have been attacked by the cursed crew. Then the coast guard left it unattended anchored just off a beach. Why didn't tow it to a harbour? There was no news coverage of such an unusual event? Then they send two men alone aboard to do what?

Then strong female lead and useless male partner the sneak aboard and are captured by the cursed crew, but a 130 pound woman is able to kick the captain's ass in a fist fight! The gallion has a working radio taken from a ship they attacked 40 years ago. How is it still powered up? It gets more stupid as it goes along. Don't waste your time. 2 stars for some ( not all) of the acting.

I want those minutes back.

[osirisgothra · 1/10 · 10 June 2024]

This movie is terrible. Despite being a movie about an old (pirate?) ship, you rarely actually see anything that resembles one except the same awful shots of "some ship" none in which look like they have anything to do with the movie at all.

The actors are so obviously out of character. Especially the crew. There is no real emotion going on anywhere in any of the 1 on 1 scenes, just a lot of hard-staring at each other like they are trying to compete for points in a game of "do-not-look away".

The story has no entertainment value and no substance whatsoever. Any value to the actual story is completely ruined by the endless corridors of 2x6 board sets which look like they were bought at Lowe's fence department a few days ago and then painted with "pretend ship" stain.

The so-called violent scenes aren't even convincing. Everyone is swaying and moving so much you'd think they are getting ready to start dancing or something.

The video production is awkwardly high-frame yet low quality. Kinda like what you get from a smartphone. I wonder, did they use that smartphone from the first scene to film this thing?

Don't call me Ellie

[nogodnomasters · 3/10 · 19 June 2024]

The film opens in 1622 off the coast of Cartegena. A hungry crew kills and eats a witch and consumes her resulting in a curse. In modern times said ship is dragged into port. The story picks up with Elena (Hannaj Bang Bendz) who is an expert on such ships. She gets a call from her ex-boyfriend who is with the coast guard and asks her if she might be interested in checking it out. She jumps at the chance. While the two are on board they are captured by the 400-year-old cursed crew and sail back out to sea. Elena discovers the Pirate cannibals want to use her for breeding material in hopes of breaking the curse.

I like the story better when they are hillbillies and folks take a Wrong Turn. The film started out fine but once on board, I lost interest with boring pirates.

Guide: F-word. No sex or nudity.