V/H/S (2012)
Drew Moerlein: Joey (segment "Tuesday the 17th")
Photos
Quotes
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[Joey records the four friends in the woods having a little smoke together]
Spider : Are you guys doing drugs?
Joey : [Samantha laughs] What?
Samantha : He fuckin' calls it drugs!
Joey : Wait, I gotta get this.
Spider : Are you guys doing drugs right now. Seriously?
Samantha : No, oh, my god, Spider, the look on your face right now...
Spider : No, seriously.
Wendy : Spider, can I tell you something?
Spider : Okay.
Wendy : You're a fucking dweeb.
Spider : Whatever, I don't - I don't do drugs. How 'bout that? How's that sound?
Samantha : Spider, why. What's wrong? Why do you look so scared. Just take a hit.
Spider : I'm... scared of getting the fear.
Samantha : What?
Joey : What?
Spider : The fear. You never heard of that?
[Joey and Samantha laugh simultaneously]
Spider : Don't laugh. Don't laugh! I'm serious. The fear. You know, when you do too many drugs and then you get, like, all freaked out and crazy.
Samantha : Spider, there's no fucking such thing as the fear.
Joey : Just take a hit, bro.
Samantha : Take a fucking hit and chill out!
Joey : Come on!
Spider : I'll take a hit if you don't film it.
Samantha : Promise.
Joey : Okay.
[Samantha hands him the smoke and Joey continues to record]
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[Wendy continues to drive her friends out into the woods when they start to get curious as to why]
Samantha : Because when you told me about this trip, you said it was just gonna be us girls, but now we're...
Joey : Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
[Joey begins recording himself]
Joey : I need to document this, okay? You told me, Wendy - Wendy, my sweet - That this was just gonna be you and me, and now you've told her it's just gonna be an all girls trip.
Wendy : Yeah.
Spider : I'm just glad I'm with, you know, some people and not alone.
Samantha : I don't want to hear a word about you jerking off.
Spider : Well, I mean, I don't jerk off that much, but...
Samantha : Not that much?
Joey : Come on!
[the camera cuts to them arriving closer to their destination]
Spider : Is this it?
Joey : I don't know. Is this it? Oh, okay, yeah.
[dramatically says out loud when reading the dead end street sign]
Joey : This is - Ooh, dead end! Let's take the left! Really, Wendy?
[recording ends]
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[the four friends in the woods see the tree covered in mushrooms]
Spider : Whoa, whoa, look at that!
Joey : What?
Spider : Look. Look at this!
Joey : Oh, wow.
Spider : Isn't that awesome?
Joey : [Joey zooms in on the mushroom tree] Yo, we could trip all day on that.
Spider : [Spider laughs] Yeah.
Joey : [Joey starts stroking the mushrooms on the tree] Yeah.
Samantha : [Samantha joins in on stroking the mushrooms on the tree] Oh, yeah.
Joey : [the two start stroking the tree together] Yeah, you like that?
Samantha : Yeah - Dream on!
[Samantha takes her hands off the tree and walks away with Spider laughing]
Wendy : Joey... You're all gonna fuckin' die up here.
Joey : What?
[recording ends]
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[Spider records the friends talking to Wendy about the murders in the woods]
Joey : Wendy, what the fuck were you saying before about us all gettin' killed?
Spider : Wait, what?
Samantha : When did she say that?
Joey : When we were over by the mushroom tree. When we were standing over by the tree, she was like, you're all gonna fuckin' die!
Spider : What do you mean, like, here? Like, here-here?
Joey : Here?
Wendy : Did you guys not hear about this?
Spider : No.
Samantha : Why the fuck would I come to this lake if I heard about some damn murders out here?
Wendy : Yeah. It was pretty bad.
Spider : Wait.
Samantha : Are you being serious?
Joey : You're fuckin' with us! Get outta here!
Wendy : No, I'm being dead serious.
Spider : Well, what happened?
Wendy : Um... You know, the weird thing is that I don't remember what he looked like.
Samantha : What do you mean, you don't remember?
Spider : What who looked like? What are you talking about?
[Wendy starts laughing]
Samantha : What?
Spider : Fuck you! Fuck you! I told you guys!
Joey : What the fuck?
Spider : The fear! You see!
Samantha : She gave me the fuckin' fear!
Spider : Fuck this!
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[Wendy records Joey as she tells him the truth about the woods]
Joey : You were serious earlier, weren't you? About the murders. I remember reading about it now. It was, like, four kids were killed, and the guy - they said the guy was, like, insane.
Wendy : He was beyond insane. He was evil. This lake ran red with their blood, and I came back...
Joey : To move on. I - I get it. It's some kind of, like, post-traumatic stress therapy or something.
Wendy : No, it's not therapy. I brought you back because I needed bait.
Joey : Bait?
Wendy : They never caught him, Joey. They never believed me, how - How he was everywhere. How he could be at two places at once. That wall back there - my friend smashed her head open on it.
Joey : Wendy, this is crazy, okay? I think you need help. Maybe we should just get the others and get the fuck out of here.
Wendy : They're dead, Joey. He's back.
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[Joey and Spider talk in the woods]
Joey : What are you - ? Wait. I have a question. What are you doing here? Huh?
Spider : See that, uh, blonde goddess up there?
Joey : No, where?
Spider : [Joey zooms in on Samantha walking up the hill] That's what I'm here for.
Joey : I don't see much of a blonde goddess anyhwere.
Spider : Oh, uh... blonde crack whore, according to you, right?
Joey : She is a crack whore.
Spider : Hey, give me the camera.
Joey : You're not gettin the camera bro.
Spider : Just gimme it for a second.
Joey : Why?
Spider : Cause I wanna do something with it.
Joey : No. Go fuck yourself.
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[Wendy drives her three friends out to the lake in the woods on Tuesday the 17th]
Wendy : Can you not put that so close to my face?
Joey : Sorry!
Wendy : It's so annoying.
Spider : Wait a minute - You go to this lake every year?
Wendy : Yep.
Spider : By yourself?
Wendy : Um... Yeah. But this year, I have you guys, so it's gonna be fun.
Samantha : What do you do, just like, walk around the woods and play with yourself?
Joey : If - If that's what you do, can I play with Samantha?
Samantha : Get it out...!
[Samantha hits the camera away from her when Joey zooms in on her legs]