Don't worry, I'm going to explain that title. But first, rant time. Because my god was this episode absolutely excruciating! The last time we had an Allegra focused episode (which also happens to be the show's lowest rated episode btw) I didn't just leave a blatant 1 / 10 review and found some legitimately good parts of the show. That's not the case with this episode, as I struggled to find a single good thing about it! This episode made "The Curious Case of Bartholomew Allen" where Barry stops multiple human criminals in a second at the top of the episode, but then is too stupid to do so not five minutes later in the same episode look like a fricking masterpiece! I actually increased my rating of that episode to a 5 / 10 because it doesn't deserve to have the same star rating as this crime against television!
And don't even think about playing the "istaphobe" card, okay? Take that crap somewhere else! I like Yvette Monreal as Wildcat on Stargirl! I praised her performance up and down when "Summer School: Chapter Seven" came out! This isn't about being against Latin actors or characters, this is about the character of Allegra Garcia amounting to a giant pile of nothing!
I did not get bingo this week, and since we now know who the season's main villain is, this means I also lose my bingo from "Into the Still Force". I crossed off "Non-Speedster Main Villain" assuming Deon would be the main villain for the rest of the season, and that's the space that got me bingo. This brings my record down to 2 and 15, but I'm still crossing off the same spaces consistently (excluding the characters and Bad CGI), which means this show is not improving. You want proof? Well then allow me to direct you to season 8 episode 17 "Keep it Dark". Jesus H. Christ screw this episode! (I'd like to use a different word there, but IMDb won't let me)
In terms of Allegra as a character, there just isn't much there for the audience to get invested in. There just isn't much meat on the bone, so you'd think that the writers would use this as an opportunity to flesh her out more, but no. Instead, we get some pointless drama at the Citizen where Allegra can't tell her team her connection to the story she's trying to have them right. And yes I know, objective journalism, but I'm of the mindset that if Allegra had told her team about her connection to the story, they would've been more inclined to get the story out there. Allegra can corroborate Lydia's story, but she doesn't at first because then the episode can't happen. Iris still hired Allegra despite her criminal record, which is public knowledge as far as I can remember. And wasn't Allegra accused of another string of murders in season 6's "A Flash of the Lightning"? You'd think that Allegra would've just told her team about her past so that Taylor didn't reveal that information in the eleventh hour. And then all the sudden they can't trust Allegra because then the rest of the episode can't happen. I guess Iris only hires emotionally stunted three-year-olds!
And not only does Allegra survive getting hit with one of Dr. Light's bullets (which we know from season 6's "Marathon" disintegrate objects and people on impact), but she also pulls, like, seven different new powers out of nowhere in this episode's climax and is able to use them perfectly without any prior knowledge of ever having them!
-Seeing invisible people
-Glowing hands that increase her physical strength
-Light? Healing
-Minor telekinesis? I think
-Some kind of electromagnetism
-The ability to pull bullets out of her body without grimacing or bleeding out
-And the ability to take on two fully grown adults in a fight and WIN when one of them is a trained assassin and the other has military training.
I'm serious about that last thing. And in a season full of moments like Barry basically flying in "Death Rises", Barry not stopping a human criminal when he was shown being fully capable of doing so earlier that very episode in "The Curious Case of Bartholomew Allen", Barry and Nora escaping the Still Force because they know they already have in "Into the Still Force" (and yes, that is a real thing that happened), and the entire first five minutes of "Funeral for a Friend", this episode's climax is up there as one of the dumbest things in this entire season!
I have a question. Have the Flash writers ever watched Legends of Tomorrow? Because the Legends writers did something not once but twice that showed they will always, always, *always* have my respect. During season 4, they introduced a character named Mona Wu that wasn't very well received. So do you know what they did? They kept her on until the end of the season, and then wrote her off the second she wasn't important to the story anymore. The result was a resoundingly better fifth season! And they did it again in season 6 with Behrad. When the episode "This is Gus" first aired it was a very poorly received episode, so much so that "popular" youtubers quit watching/reviewing the show for good. And do you know what they did? They removed everything associated with that putrid episode the very next week, removed Behrad from the show until the finale, and then brought him back the next season and made him an actual character instead of just using him for weed jokes.
The Legends of Tomorrow writers listened to the fans and took the criticisms to heart, got rid of what wasn't working, and the show was better as a result! What a novel concept! And Legends got canceled while The Flash is still on air? One is a show that showed constant improvement and listened to the fanbase, and the other is a show that's shown time and time again that they have nothing but utter contempt for every single viewer! Tell me how that makes sense! Say what you want about Legends, I personally loved it, but the writers always respected and took the criticism from the fanbase, so maybe it's time the Flash writers pulled a Legends of Tomorrow and wrote Allegra off the show already, because I have not seen a single *real* human say anything positive about her! (in seasons 7 and 8, I thought she was good in season 6)
And that brings us to the second con of the episode. My god Eric Wallace hasn't learned his lesson. The final scene introduces us to Meena Dhawan, a character prominently featured in the DC Rebirth Flash comics run, and mostly associated with the Godspeed storyline. If you'll remember back to my review of "Impulsive Excessive Disorder" you'll recall that I discouraged the Flash writers from introducing any more characters from that storyline because of their... Shall we say "spotty" track record. I admittedly don't know much about the character in the comics outside of her being a love-interest for Barry and a speedster that uses the Negative Speed Force, but I doubt that she'll make any lasting impression if they plan to go all the way villainous with her. In order to make her heel turn at all meaningful she'll have to build a good rapport with the team on the level of Zoom or season 1 Eobard Thawne in ONLY THREE EPISODES!
I understand that Eric Wallace made Bloodwork work with only eight episodes. That's one of my favorite story arcs on this entire show! But do you know why Bloodwork worked? Because we saw him start out as a doctor that just wanted to save everyone, and we saw his descent into madness. Not to mention his morals conflicting with Barry's during the leadup to Crisis. I swear, Eric Wallace and the writers genuinely must have no idea why Bloodwork was a great villain, so they keep doing these short four episode long storylines attempting to recreate that magic, and it just keeps blowing up in their face! Bloodwork wasn't great because he was only in eight episodes! He was great because we got to see him become the villain!
Oh yeah, and Barry is suddenly a big fan of Dhawan's research when season 1 showed in no uncertain terms that Harrison Wells was always his idol. I'm not saying he can only have one idol, I just wanted to bring up that Wells was the one Barry looked up to first.
I feel confident saying that the only good thing about this episode was Thawne on Lian Yu, though I wish I didn't have that moment spoiled for me by the promos. I would've exploded with hype had I gotten to react to that live! Thawne is an overused character, but I liked his scenes with Barry explaining why he'll never be replaced: He's the one Barry can never stop. He hurt Barry in a way no other villain could. Barry's had other villains, but Thawne is his nemesis, and nemesis relationships run deep! Of course, everyone that watched season 1 already knew that. Go figure the best part of this episode was just them giving season 1 a justified pat on the back.
This is probably the show's worst episode in a long time, and that's saying something considering the last two seasons. I know I gave the season 7 finale a 1 / 10, but that's not a rating I stand by anymore. It was an emotional reaction in the moment, and my review of the episode was basically just a rant. But considering that all my reviews of this show end up as rants anyway, I can understand the possible confusion. I can usually control myself enough to be disappointed instead of angry, but this is a rant this show has well and truly earned! Screw this episode! Screw this show! And screw the ink this script was printed on!
3 / 10.
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