Hanne Steen: Gwyneth

Quotes 

• Alfie Butts : Move in with me!

  Gwyneth : What?

  Alfie Butts : I'm serious! Move in with me! I'm a valued member of this family now! They love me! Mr Harper?

  Ben Harper : Hmm?

  Alfie Butts : How would you feel about Gwyneth moving in?

  Ben Harper : Great! She can have your room! Nice knowing you, Alfie!

• Alfie Butts : Gwyneth, there's something I'd like to ask you.

  [Kneels by the sofa] 

  Alfie Butts : Would you, erm...

  Gwyneth : [Thinking he is going to propose to her]  Yes! Yes, I will! Wait - I should let you ask properly!

  Alfie Butts : OK. Would you help me shift the sofa? I think I kicked the remote under here earlier!

• Gwyneth : [Finds an old postcard]  Who's Nick?

  Alfie Butts : A mate of mine! Really nice guy!

  Gwyneth : [Reads postcard]  Dear all, having a great time in South America. PS If someone called Alfie Butts shows up claiming to be a mate, under no circumstances let him stay...

  Alfie Butts : [Snatches postcard from her]  Haha! I knew I should have burned that!

• Alfie Butts : So, now you know who each of you are, that should make things slightly less awkward. Despite Janey having decided to join us.

  Tamsin : Look, Alfie. I know Gwyneth is your girlfriend. But when I saw you the other day, it only made me more uncertain about marrying Steve.

  Janey Harper : Oh... tricky scenario!

  Alfie Butts : Yes, thank you, Janey.

  Tamsin : I promise you, the last thing I want to do is come between you and... and Gwyneth.

  Janey Harper : Yeah, right!

  Tamsin : I mean it! Because I do love Steve - maybe all this is just pre-wedding jitters. But Alfie, we've known each other since we were kids...

  Gwyneth : [Clears throat] 

  Tamsin : ...So I know when you're truly happy and when... Oh, look, if you want me to go, I'll go right now and I'll marry Steve and I'm pretty sure I'll be happy too!

  Janey Harper : This girl is good!

  Tamsin : Sorry, who are you again?

  Janey Harper : Sweetheart, I'm the girl you never want to go up against!

  Tamsin : And your boyfriend is where?

  Alfie Butts : [Stops Janey from confronting Tamsin]  Whoa, whoa! Janey, could you go in the kitchen and find something to do that lasts about half an hour?

  Janey Harper : Like what?

  Alfie Butts : Oh, let's see... You have a head, there's an oven...