Evil (TV Series)

A Is for Angel (2021)

Michael Emerson: Leland Townsend

Quotes 

• Sheryl Luria : Are you okay, babe? Is this taking too long?

  Leland Townsend : No, I'm good. I just have one suggestion.

  Sheryl Luria : What, the chocolate cake?

  Leland Townsend : The wedding. We're done.

  Sheryl Luria : Okay. I can handle this. Go home.

  Leland Townsend : No, no. *We're* done. We're not getting married. I've been using you to get to your daughter to hurt her. Well, now she's hurt, so I don't need you. You should cry now. I think that'd be appropriate, because I want you to know that I've hated every second of this; every DJ we listened to, every place setting, every invitation. Well, now that's over. And I want you to take your dried-up little ovaries and drag them back under the rock you came from.

• Leland Townsend : Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. Oh...

  [taking index cards out of his pocket] 

  Leland Townsend : Believe it or not, I have come prepared. "Oh, my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended thee, and I detest all my sins because I dread the loss of heaven and fear the pains of hell." How was that?

  David Acosta : Continue.

  Leland Townsend : Should I go chronologically?

  David Acosta : Do whatever you want.

  Leland Townsend : Well, it's my first time. I think I'll go whole hog. Why not? Let's see, my earliest memories of sin. When I was five, I stole a classmate's lunch. He cried. I said nothing. When I was nine, I cheated on a spelling quiz. When I was 12, I masturbated for the first time.

  David Acosta : Are you truly sorry for these sins?

  Leland Townsend : Wait, wait. I wanna talk about masturbation more. Oh, but I guess that's something you priests can't do. Right?

  David Acosta : Are these your sins?

  Leland Townsend : Not all. There is one that weighs upon my heart the most. This is the one I really hope God can forgive me for. I met a woman a few years ago. She was gorgeous. Had a real body on her, and I was instantly smitten. But she was already seeing someone else. Someone who was of the Black persuasion. So I admired her from afar. I think that's lust and envy. Ha, a twofer. Then I found a way to insinuate myself into her life. I don't think she ever realized this, but I knew where she worked, and I would stand across the street every day to get a glimpse of her. I still think of her often. I once looked up the meaning of her name. Julia. It means "soft-haired, youthful." And she was all of that. Then a time came when I was standing across the street waiting to see her, and she didn't appear. This went on for a couple of months, and I thought maybe she's moved. But then I found out she'd gotten sick. Very sick.

  [David's hand holding his rosary trembles] 

  Leland Townsend : The last time I saw Julia, she was in a bad way. Frail. A mere shell of her former self, really. And she needed care around the clock. She was so worried that she had become a burden to those around her; the people that cared for her, the people she loved. And I looked into her beautiful eyes, and I assured her that she absolutely was a burden, and that the best thing to do would be to free the ones she loved of her presence. Well, she took my advice. And then... she was gone. Wow, that is powerful. I feel so much better, so free. Who knew? What's next, David? David? My penance?

  David Acosta : Are you contrite?

  Leland Townsend : Contrite as the day is long.

  David Acosta : Then this is your penance. Five Hail Marys... and two Our Fathers.

  Leland Townsend : What? That's it?

  David Acosta : Yes. God forgives you.

• Trisha : [Leland and Sheryl choose a cake for their wedding]  Just say which one tastes the best.

  Leland Townsend : [his phone buzzes]  Oh, I have to get this.

  Sheryl Luria : Which one, Lee?

  Leland Townsend : Oh, I don't care. That one.

  Trisha : [wincing]  Buttercream? It might not hold up in summer weather.

  Leland Townsend : Then why in the hell did you make buttercream an option?