House M.D. (TV Series)
No More Mr. Nice Guy (2008)
Hugh Laurie: Dr. Gregory House
Quotes
-
Dr. Gregory House : [refering to Jeff] Is he Canadian?
Dr. Allison Cameron : He's a low priority.
Dr. Gregory House : Is that a yes?
-
Dr. Gregory House : If you want people to drive safer, take out the airbags and attach a machete pointing at their neck. No one will drive over three miles per hour.
-
Dr. Gregory House : [to Kutner] Get that idiotic smile out of my face. I gotta go on a killing spree.
-
Dr. Gregory House : Oh, you're selling religion! I'm sorry, I bought some Islam yesterday.
-
Dr. Gregory House : Cameron only has one insufferable friend?
-
Dr. Gregory House : I like Cuddy. I like parts of her.
-
Dr. Gregory House : Three cavemen see a stranger running towards them with a spear. One fights, one flees, one smiles and invites him over for fondue. That last guy didn't last long enough to procreate.
-
Dr. Gregory House : Taub and Thirty-one...
Thirteen : Thirty-one?
Dr. Gregory House : Aw, I'm sorry I, thought that either way was good for you.
-
Dr. Gregory House : You're either perfect or you're sick.
-
Dr. Gregory House : [answers phone] Hello and thank you for saving me from being righteoused to death.
-
Dr. Gregory House : Run him for everything you can think of: lepto, schisto, hemo, and the fourth Marx Brother nobody ever heard of.
-
Dr. Gregory House : So syphilis prevents domestic violence? I'm gonna be even more attractive to the ladies.
-
Dr. Amber Volakis : Take my deal, or get out of my apartment.
Dr. Gregory House : Take *my* deal, or I move in.
-
[House asked Chase to go bowling with him]
Dr. Robert Chase : I assume Wilson was busy?
Dr. Gregory House : Again.
Dr. Robert Chase : With Amber?
Dr. Gregory House : Again.
Dr. Robert Chase : Still it was nice of you to invite me, this is fun.
Dr. Gregory House : No it wasn't, no it isn't. I didn't invite you to be nice. I invited you because bowling isn't one of the two things guys do by themselves.
Dr. Robert Chase : What's the second thing?
Dr. Gregory House : Other hand.
-
Young Man : Have you heard the good news?
Dr. Gregory House : Miley Cyrus is playing a third night at the Spectrum?
-
Dr. Gregory House : [Both are on dirty-linen duty for breaking the "custody" rules over Wilson] Where are you two going Friday night?
Dr. Amber Volakis : Dinner at L'Auberge.
Dr. Gregory House : You're lying.
Dr. Amber Volakis : Of course I am.
[Wilson is out of hearing-range around the corner giggling to himself]
-
Dr. Eric Foreman : At least as long as his wife has known him, eleven years. The chances of him having an undiagnosed pathology for that long?
Dr. Gregory House : What are you saying? Evolution is wrong? Where do you think we are, 21st-century America?