The Good Place (TV Series)
You've Changed, Man (2020)
Manny Jacinto: Jason Mendoza
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Quotes
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Jason Mendoza : Chidi should hook up with the Judge to get us out of trouble! I've done that a bunch of times. It's called a Jacksonville Plea Bargain.
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Chidi Anagonye : Imagine someone sells a joint and then gets locked away in a dangerous prison for years. The crime isn't cruel, but the punishment is. That's a problem.
Jason Mendoza : Tell me about it. I once went to jail for a week just because I stole a hot dog. Well, a hot-dog-shaped car. I stole the Weinermobile.
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Michael : Okay, before we try to completely redesign the entire afterlife, has anyone just thought of a good reason the Judge *shouldn't* cancel Earth?
Jason Mendoza : Because it would be a bummer.
Michael : Yeah, we might need more than that.
Jason Mendoza : Are you at least gonna write it down?
Michael : [hesitates, then writes something on his notepad] Eh... all right...
Jason Mendoza : Did you actually write it down, or did you just do a scribble-scrabble?
[Michael scowls, then tears the sheet off and crumples it up]
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Chidi Anagonye : So anyone who doesn't meet the threshold for the new Medium Place neighborhood is yours for the taking. The Bad Place still has plenty of people to torture.
Shawn : I have to admit, this does make sense. And I like that your side is settling for a crappy deal while my side stays mostly the same. What the hell. I'm in.
Michael : Really?
Shawn : [laughs] No! You actually believed me?
Eleanor Shellstrop : Dude, in 20 minutes, all of humanity is going to be erased forever.
Shawn : And?
Chidi Anagonye : The Bad Place will get emptied out, too. You'll have no one to torture for billions of years. Everyone loses.
Shawn : Oh, I know. But here's the thing: I don't care if everyone loses as long as you lose.
Michael : Shawn, listen to reason.
Shawn : Why should I? None of this would have happened if you hadn't mucked around with your Neighborhood and your new ideas. New ideas are gross. They sicken me.
Jason Mendoza : [crosses his arms] Shawn, you used to be cool. But you've changed, man.