It's no secret that when it comes to chili dogs, Sonic has a very big appetite, and so does Tails. In fact, I think his might be bigger than Sonic's, but what do you think would happen if the little fox became bigger than his appetite? Like, what if he were enlarged to fifty feet? Why he might devour entire cities, causing loads of devastation and chaos in his wake. There might be no stopping him. Luckily an implausible situation like that isn't very likely to happen... except that one time that it did. Let's take a look at "Too Tall Tails," which begins with Dr. Robotnik holding Professor Von Schlemmer hostage, forcing him to tell him how to build his latest invention, but refuses to tell him how to operate it. Though once the doc administers a little tickle torture, he willingly gives up the process. After that, Botsy has the professor transported to the deepest, darkest part of the Jungle of Doom where no one will ever, ever find him. At least for 20 minutes. Gosh, all this fuss over Von Schlemmer's new invention, which Robotnik is sure will allow him to take over Mobius. What exactly does this machine do? Well, we have to wait on that since we're thrown into a scene of Sonic and Tails being chased by Coconuts. It lasts all of two minutes before Sonic makes the monkey slip on water and crash into three walls he pulled out of thin air. That's the last we see of him in this episode, so... Coconuts, ladies and gentlemen. With the dim-bulb taken care of, they head to a little town called... and I'm not kidding here... Wienerville. It's populated by beings who look like wieners, so I'll bet they have some wild sausage parties. LOL. Wait, since the people are wieners themselves and they serve chili dogs, wouldn't that make them cannibals? It would be like if cows ran a steakhouse. Right away, Sonic and Tails meet Mayor McChee... er, Knockwurst, the man in charge of this fine establishment, who treats them to a meal of just about every pork product ever conceived, and Tails eats everything put in front of him. It seems the little guy has a big appetite, as according to Sonic, they missed a few meals. Why, what were they doing? Spending all that time fighting Robotnik? Speaking of that pushover, he's still trying to get the professor's mysterious gizmo to function. Apparently what it does is enlarge things, so Robotnik tests it out on a hunk of Grounder's belly button lint. Gross. He doesn't have a belly button nor does he wear pants, so... never mind. It works in enlarging that gunk, then it malfunctions and explodes. Another great plan gone up in smoke, Botsy. Well done. Anyway, since Tails finished his 20th plate, he's now ready for dessert. Sheesh, if he ate that many spicy pork products, nobody better go anywhere near him with a lit match. Speaking of gas, a thick orange cloud mysteriously forms over the town, Tails inhales it and suddenly starts to grow. This is apparently the fallout from Von Schlemmer's machine, and if it was a gas cloud that fell over the town, why was Tails the only one affected? He enlarges fifty feet high, and guess what? He's got a big appetite to go with his new size. What a glutton! He picks up buildings that resemble food, and he probably ate a few wiener people too, just because they look like food. In the process, he breaks the Welcome to Wienerville sign, while Mayor Knockwurst just stands there. I know he can't do anything because it's the act break, but even when we come back, he's still just standing there like a statue about to be flattened, but of course Sonic saves him in time.
So, Tails is the size of a skyscraper and he's incredibly hungry, and Sonic has no clue what to do. As if things couldn't get any worse, Dr. Robotnik flies in with Scratch and Grounder, saying via megaphone that this was all evildoing on Sonic's part. Oh come on, Botsy, these people may be wieners, but they're not stupid. Oh, boy am I about to be proven wrong. And I guess this is Robotnik's backup plan since the enlarger machine went bust: bring these foolish franks to his side? He does so by bringing them gifts. Yep, I'm not kidding, he presents the folks of Wienerville with free gifts, which they rush at. Sonic and Robotnik start pointing fingers, but when Botsy points out the destruction caused by Tails, all of a sudden, these idiot sausages see Sonic as the villain. What an easily led pack of morons. As for Tails, he makes short work of the town's crops and eats a cartload of Mobian melons. Um, Tails, have you ever heard of a little something called self control?! Robotnik orders the citizens of Wienerville to stop him. Oh yeah, right, what are they going to do? In fact, I'm sure Tails will probably just eat them. Hope he grills them first, and then smothers them with ketchup. Oh yeah, I went there. Robotnik then retreats back to his fortress to get something to further aid him in his plan, leaving Scratch and Grounder in charge in the meantime, and as usual, they choose that particular moment to exposit about Professor Von Schlemmer and his machine, his antidote, and that he's lost, and of course, Sonic overhears them. Great, just force them to tell you where he is and go get him. And how does he do that? He pretends to be a talent scout, citing Scratch and Grounder to be contenders for the next Mr. Universe. Oh lord. He then sets up a stage complete with question and answer portion and, oh, they forgot to keep Sonic's disguise on, so now he's fully exposed... you know what I mean, and since these two robots are the dumbest, they still don't realize this is a hoax. Long story short, Sonic tricks them into revealing that Von Schlemmer is in a bottomless pit in the Jungle of Doom. He awards them with a new car that makes them crash, then he races off to the jungle. That was a nice 3 minute waste of time. Sonic rescues the professor, who tells him the antidote is the fragrance of the Hootentoot garlic, which grows in the garden of the evil Wizard Lizard, and it's laden with boobytraps. Nice setup that goes completely to waste, as Sonic grabs the thing and easily avoids the traps. We should've dedicated more time to this instead of that stupid gag with Scratch and Grounder. Anyway, Sonic gets back to Stupidville just as Botsy is there with a freeze cannon to turn Tails into an icicle. He has the garlic, now to get it into Tails' mouth. I thought it was the fragrance, so all he has to do is smell it. Anyway, they wonder how to get the fox to ingest it, and instead of just saying, "hey, Tails, come down here and take a whiff or a taste of this garlic," they resort to another overdone contraption: they launch a ginormous chili dog, spiked with garlic, like a rocket ship. In all the time you wasted putting that together, Robotnik would've frozen Tails solid and had these fools groveling at his feet. Instead, Tails ingests the big dog and shrinks back to normal. As for Robotnik's freeze ray, it bounces off a hillside and freezes he, Scratch and Grounder. Sonic was glad to have his pal back to normal size and the citizens of Wienerville apologize for being such wieners. To celebrate, Tails orders 700 dogs. Ha ha ha, you destroyed half their entire town and their means of food and supplies, and you dare to ask them for more food? But then they were jerks, so I guess they deserved it. Our Sonic Says... is actually really funny. Guess what topic they picked to coincide with this episode about food? Proper nutrition. That's right, the chili dog inhaling hedgehog tells us to eat our fruits and veggies and dairy, breads, cereals, the main food groups. That is just hilarious, and I'm not sure if the makers of this series saw the irony. Yeah, it's a good message, don't get me wrong, but again, someone who is obsessed with chili dogs is telling us the importance of eating healthy. That's like if the Ninja Turtles had an entire episode about pizza, then said, "make sure you eat all your fruits and veggies, dudes." I guess do as they say, not as they do. Anyway, it's still funny.
So that was "Too Tall Tails." Here's the rundown: the animation is a bit sloppy in some places, Rowby Goren's script is a poorly written mess, but good golly, there were plenty of funny gags in this one, like Robotnik giving the wiener people gifts, and of course the Sonic Says, so I give them points for having gags that were funny... not that bodybuilder contest of Sonic's, that was dumb. The voice acting was terrible, but they're all good actors, just like this show had some good writers on board, like Bruce and Reed Shelly, Jeffrey Scott, and Mr. Goren. I've seen other things they've written and they did a good job, so what happened with this series? Well, all good actors and good writers turn in crap now and then. Too Tall Tails isn't a bad episode, just not one of the best, but I do recommend checking it out. Even if things make no sense, it's still got plenty of laughs, and who doesn't love Professor Von Schlemmer? So if you've got any friends who are gluttons, tell them this tall tale about Too Tall Tails.
So, Tails is the size of a skyscraper and he's incredibly hungry, and Sonic has no clue what to do. As if things couldn't get any worse, Dr. Robotnik flies in with Scratch and Grounder, saying via megaphone that this was all evildoing on Sonic's part. Oh come on, Botsy, these people may be wieners, but they're not stupid. Oh, boy am I about to be proven wrong. And I guess this is Robotnik's backup plan since the enlarger machine went bust: bring these foolish franks to his side? He does so by bringing them gifts. Yep, I'm not kidding, he presents the folks of Wienerville with free gifts, which they rush at. Sonic and Robotnik start pointing fingers, but when Botsy points out the destruction caused by Tails, all of a sudden, these idiot sausages see Sonic as the villain. What an easily led pack of morons. As for Tails, he makes short work of the town's crops and eats a cartload of Mobian melons. Um, Tails, have you ever heard of a little something called self control?! Robotnik orders the citizens of Wienerville to stop him. Oh yeah, right, what are they going to do? In fact, I'm sure Tails will probably just eat them. Hope he grills them first, and then smothers them with ketchup. Oh yeah, I went there. Robotnik then retreats back to his fortress to get something to further aid him in his plan, leaving Scratch and Grounder in charge in the meantime, and as usual, they choose that particular moment to exposit about Professor Von Schlemmer and his machine, his antidote, and that he's lost, and of course, Sonic overhears them. Great, just force them to tell you where he is and go get him. And how does he do that? He pretends to be a talent scout, citing Scratch and Grounder to be contenders for the next Mr. Universe. Oh lord. He then sets up a stage complete with question and answer portion and, oh, they forgot to keep Sonic's disguise on, so now he's fully exposed... you know what I mean, and since these two robots are the dumbest, they still don't realize this is a hoax. Long story short, Sonic tricks them into revealing that Von Schlemmer is in a bottomless pit in the Jungle of Doom. He awards them with a new car that makes them crash, then he races off to the jungle. That was a nice 3 minute waste of time. Sonic rescues the professor, who tells him the antidote is the fragrance of the Hootentoot garlic, which grows in the garden of the evil Wizard Lizard, and it's laden with boobytraps. Nice setup that goes completely to waste, as Sonic grabs the thing and easily avoids the traps. We should've dedicated more time to this instead of that stupid gag with Scratch and Grounder. Anyway, Sonic gets back to Stupidville just as Botsy is there with a freeze cannon to turn Tails into an icicle. He has the garlic, now to get it into Tails' mouth. I thought it was the fragrance, so all he has to do is smell it. Anyway, they wonder how to get the fox to ingest it, and instead of just saying, "hey, Tails, come down here and take a whiff or a taste of this garlic," they resort to another overdone contraption: they launch a ginormous chili dog, spiked with garlic, like a rocket ship. In all the time you wasted putting that together, Robotnik would've frozen Tails solid and had these fools groveling at his feet. Instead, Tails ingests the big dog and shrinks back to normal. As for Robotnik's freeze ray, it bounces off a hillside and freezes he, Scratch and Grounder. Sonic was glad to have his pal back to normal size and the citizens of Wienerville apologize for being such wieners. To celebrate, Tails orders 700 dogs. Ha ha ha, you destroyed half their entire town and their means of food and supplies, and you dare to ask them for more food? But then they were jerks, so I guess they deserved it. Our Sonic Says... is actually really funny. Guess what topic they picked to coincide with this episode about food? Proper nutrition. That's right, the chili dog inhaling hedgehog tells us to eat our fruits and veggies and dairy, breads, cereals, the main food groups. That is just hilarious, and I'm not sure if the makers of this series saw the irony. Yeah, it's a good message, don't get me wrong, but again, someone who is obsessed with chili dogs is telling us the importance of eating healthy. That's like if the Ninja Turtles had an entire episode about pizza, then said, "make sure you eat all your fruits and veggies, dudes." I guess do as they say, not as they do. Anyway, it's still funny.
So that was "Too Tall Tails." Here's the rundown: the animation is a bit sloppy in some places, Rowby Goren's script is a poorly written mess, but good golly, there were plenty of funny gags in this one, like Robotnik giving the wiener people gifts, and of course the Sonic Says, so I give them points for having gags that were funny... not that bodybuilder contest of Sonic's, that was dumb. The voice acting was terrible, but they're all good actors, just like this show had some good writers on board, like Bruce and Reed Shelly, Jeffrey Scott, and Mr. Goren. I've seen other things they've written and they did a good job, so what happened with this series? Well, all good actors and good writers turn in crap now and then. Too Tall Tails isn't a bad episode, just not one of the best, but I do recommend checking it out. Even if things make no sense, it's still got plenty of laughs, and who doesn't love Professor Von Schlemmer? So if you've got any friends who are gluttons, tell them this tall tale about Too Tall Tails.
