The Andy Griffith Show (TV Series)

Cyrano Andy (1961)

Don Knotts: Barney Fife

Photos 

Quotes 

• Barney Fife : You're the cats. I - I - I think aboutcha all the time. Sometimes at breakfast, I... stare down at my eggs and... I see your face right in there.

• Barney Fife : Oh, this is the oldest game in the world, stealin' your best friend's girl. Well, four can play at *this* game, buddy!

• Barney Fife : Well, some of us got it, some of us ain't.

• Andy Taylor : Barney, I declare! I just don't understand you. You said 'em all fine right there. Now, how come you can't say the same thing to Thelma Lou?

  Barney Fife : Well, I guess the trouble is I can... I can only say 'em to a face like yours, you character.

• Barney Fife : How would you like it if I tried to steal Ellie away from *you*?

  Andy Taylor : Well, um...

  Barney Fife : Oh, you don't think I can, do you?

  Andy Taylor : Well, that's not the point.

  Barney Fife : *Point*? Well, I *can*! And the funny part is you're the one that showed me how! All I gotta do is sweet-talk her. And I've seen just enough Rock Hudson pictures to know how to do that.

• Barney Fife : If it smells, I want it.

• Ellie Walker : Okay, Barney, what'll it be?

  Barney Fife : Does it have to... be anything?

  Ellie Walker : Well, no. No, you can sit down if you like. I just have this prescription to finish.

  Barney Fife : You know the light in here does crazy things to your hair.

  Ellie Walker : What?

  Barney Fife : Oh, why pretend? I *like* you, Ellie. You're my kind o' woman.

  Ellie Walker : What?

  Barney Fife : Let's not try to fight it, baby!

  Ellie Walker : Barney Fife! Have you been drinking?

  Barney Fife : Oh, baby...

  Ellie Walker : [slaps his hand]  Oh, now stop! I haven't time for this nonsense! Now - now, stop acting like a juvenile!

  Barney Fife : I feel sorry for you, baby. You - you had your chance to fly with me but you wasn't woman enough. Now the balloon's gone up withoutcha.