All in the Family (TV Series)

The Battle of the Month (1973)

Jean Stapleton: Edith Bunker

Quotes 

• Edith Bunker : [forces Gloria and Mike to stop fighting]  Now! When I was a little girl, my mother and father got into a terrible fight that started just because there wasn't enough maple syrup for my father's pancakes.

  Michael 'Meathead' Stivic : Ma, what we're arguing about here is a little bit more important than maple syrup.

  Edith Bunker : Just a minute, I ain't finished. They didn't talk to each other for three whole weeks. And even after they made up, things was never the same between them. So before you two start saying things to each other that you'll never take back, stop and think how much you really mean to each other. Now I know maple syrup is just a little thing, but would you rather break up over something bigger?

• Edith Bunker : Gloria, I don't think you should be talking to your father that way. I know you ain't feeling well, but he's your father!

  Gloria Stivic : Yeah, but that doesn't make him right, and when he's wrong, I'm going to tell him so.

  Edith Bunker : But you didn't tell him he was wrong, you told him he was stupid.

  Gloria Stivic : Well he is!

• Gloria Stivic : Ma, marriage is supposed to be a partnership, well you're not a half, not even a quarter, you're a nothing, a zero!

  Edith Bunker : Gloria!

  Gloria Stivic : And even if you stood up to him 10 TIMES as much as you do, 10 times nothing is STILL nothing!

• Edith Bunker : Do you think I'm a nothing?

  Archie Bunker : What kind of a question is that to ask me at 2:30 in the morning?

  Edith Bunker : I'm sorry. Nothing just came into my mind.

  Archie Bunker : It must've felt right at home there.

• Gloria Stivic : You can stop listening now, the fight is over.

  Archie Bunker : The fight might be over between you and him but it's not over between him and me. Out there, he called me a bonehead!

  Gloria Stivic : And how did you hear that? Did you have your hot little ear pressed against the wall?

  Archie Bunker : Noooo!

  Edith Bunker : He listened with this glass.

  Gloria Stivic : Well I have one final thing to say to you.

  [picks up glass] 

  Archie Bunker : Get away from me.

  Gloria Stivic : [presses glass against his ear and yells into it]  GOOD NIGHT!