All in the Family (TV Series)
The Battle of the Month (1973)
Rob Reiner: Michael 'Meathead' Stivic
Quotes
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Edith Bunker : [forces Gloria and Mike to stop fighting] Now! When I was a little girl, my mother and father got into a terrible fight that started just because there wasn't enough maple syrup for my father's pancakes.
Michael 'Meathead' Stivic : Ma, what we're arguing about here is a little bit more important than maple syrup.
Edith Bunker : Just a minute, I ain't finished. They didn't talk to each other for three whole weeks. And even after they made up, things was never the same between them. So before you two start saying things to each other that you'll never take back, stop and think how much you really mean to each other. Now I know maple syrup is just a little thing, but would you rather break up over something bigger?
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Michael 'Meathead' Stivic : Now, we're going to get to the bottom of this. We're not going to sleep. You tell me WHY you got into a fight with your mother.
Gloria Stivic : Because I love her.
Michael 'Meathead' Stivic : What?
Gloria Stivic : I felt I had to tell her the truth about herself.
Michael 'Meathead' Stivic : Oh, and because of that, now she's not speaking to you?
Gloria Stivic : [mockingly] Yeeeessss.
Michael 'Meathead' Stivic : [rolls his eyes] Oh, COME ON, Gloria. What are you trying to tell me? I know your mother; I've been living with her for over two years. She's a marvelous woman.
Michael 'Meathead' Stivic , Gloria Stivic : [angrily] Are you saying I'm NOT?
Michael 'Meathead' Stivic : No! No! I'm not saying that. But, uhhhh...
Gloria Stivic : [mocks him] "But-uhhhh"... what?
Michael 'Meathead' Stivic : But... uhhhh...
Gloria Stivic : "But-uhhhh"-what... but... what... BUT... WHAT?
Michael 'Meathead' Stivic : BUT you're not like your mother!
Gloria Stivic : Well, thank God for THAT!
Michael 'Meathead' Stivic : You're like your father.
Gloria Stivic : [shouts] WHAAAAAAAAAAT?
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Michael 'Meathead' Stivic : [storms into Archie's bedroom] You!
Archie Bunker : What?
Michael 'Meathead' Stivic : You!
Archie Bunker : What?
Michael 'Meathead' Stivic : ...GAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
[storms out]
Archie Bunker : [turns to Edith] He made more sense when he was coming through the glass.