Vengeance Unlimited (TV Series)
Vendetta (1999)
Michael Madsen: Mr. Chapel
Quotes
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Theresa Greco : So, you help me out of all this, and all I owe you is a million dollars?
Chapel : Sorta like that.
Theresa Greco : Do you take food stamps?
Chapel : No. But I have a prudent buyer's plan.
Theresa Greco : Which is?
Chapel : Some day you owe me a favor.
Theresa Greco : A million dollars or a favor. Yeah, well, I saw that movie and I'm really flattered...
Chapel : That's not what I meant.
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[after Chapel returns a woman's earring]
Theresa Greco : What did you need it for?
Chapel : You can use those to pick locks.
Theresa Greco : Where'd you learn that?
Chapel : My mom. She was very handy.
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[IRS agent Gifford Marshall attempts to subdue Mr. Chapel and ends up on the floor holding his knee, writhing in pain]
Chapel : Don't worry about that. It'll be okay in a couple of months. It's amazing what they can do with plastic nowadays.
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Chapel : I walked into a bar one time, and I bumped into a guy. He pulled a gun on me. And I said, "Hey, I'm sorry." And he said, "You know, if you let one person bump you, pretty soon everyone's going to start bumping you."
Theresa Greco : So what happened?
Chapel : Well, he has a new shoulder now. It's amazing what they can do with plastic. Anyway, my point is that some kids don't know how to play with others, so you just...
KC : ...have to give them a new shoulder.
Chapel : Well, yeah, there you go.
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Gifford Marshall : This is an official IRS investigation. What's your name?
Chapel : I'm Gumby, dammit.
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Otto Carson : Mr. Chapel, I don't, ah, want to get emotional about this, but I think this is important that you know: the Internal Revenue Service is thee least corrupt, most efficient tax gathering organization in the world.
Chapel : Take it easy, Otto - I'm... getting all misty.