Only Fools and Horses (TV Series)

The Yellow Peril (1982)

David Jason: Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter

Photos 

Quotes 

• Del Boy : [Del and Rodney are sitting on a bench near their mother's grave]  It's quiet here.

  Rodney : [half asleep, not really listening]  Yeah...

  Del Boy : Peaceful.

  Rodney : Yeah...

  Del Boy : You're decorating the kitchen of a Chinese takeaway tomorrow.

  Rodney : Yeah...

  Del Boy : The sun is shining, the birds are singing...

  Rodney : [waking up somewhat]  What was that?

  Del Boy : The sun is shining and the birds are singing?

  Rodney : No, before that.

  Del Boy : Everything's quiet and peaceful?

  Rodney : No, Del, in between everything being quiet and peaceful and the sun shining and the birds singing, you mentioned something about a Chinese takeaway!

• Grandad : [Rodney is furious after finding out the paint used on a decorating job was hooky]  Tunnels?

  Del Boy : What?

  Rodney : No, he said that.

  Grandad : Trigger said this was for painting signs used in tunnels. Well, how can you see a sign in a tunnel? It's dark, innit?

  Trigger : No, it's alright, this is luminous paint.

  Del Boy : Exactly, Grandad, it's luminous paint and that means you can see in the - LUMINOUS?

• Rodney : [last lines of the episode; the Trotters have just discovered that Del unknowingly painted their mother's gravestone with luminous paint]  Do you realise that our mum's grave is going to become a beacon for every Satanist and acid-head in England? There's gonna be white witches dancing around that on a full moon. There's gonna be chicken's blood everywhere!

  Grandad : What worries me is that it's on the main flight path to Heathrow.

  Del Boy : I wish you two could see yourselves. Here's mum and her monument, the third coat's hardly dry, and you're already quivering in your shoes. Well, I'll tell you this much. I don't regret that I did it. And I will not bow my head to any snotty-nosed town hall clerks and their narrow-minded rules. I shall look them straight in the face, and say that I am the man who's responsible, and that I'm proud of it!

  [takes another look at the grave, then has second thoughts] 

  Del Boy : We'll put it down to vandals. Let's get out of here before we get our collars felt.