NewsRadio (TV Series)

Our Fiftieth Episode (1997)

Phil Hartman: Bill McNeal

Photos 

Quotes 

• Fred : Cigarette?

  Bill McNeal : Yes, thank you.

  Fred : I wasn't offering you one.

  Bill McNeal : Then why did you say cigarette?

  Fred : I was talking to my friend, the cigarette. Cigarette, prepare to be smoked.

• Bill McNeal : What's your real name?

  Fred : Ullyses S. Grant, 18th President of the United States.

  Bill McNeal : You're not president.

  Fred : Well, obviously. It's just my name, not my job.

• Dave Nelson : Bill, these people are insane.

  Bill McNeal : Oh, really? Then why did they elect me Prime Minister of Ward 15 this morning?

• Dave Nelson : Bill - come on. You cannot vacation in a mental ward; it's just not done.

  Fred : Don't be naive. That's what I'm doing.

  Bill McNeal : See? I'm not alone.

  Dave Nelson : Really?

  Fred : It's true. See, I have a very stressful job. All day long, it's just decisions, decision, decisions! So I come here to get away from it all.

  Dave Nelson : What do you do?

  Fred : I'm an air traffic controller. It gets very stressful, so every six months I flip out and put my my fist through a radar screen, and I get sent here.

  Bill McNeal : He means he pretends to flip out.

  Fred : No, I actually do flip out.

• Bill McNeal : [When Fred protests Bill's leaving the hospital]  I'd love to stay, but without my constant supervision, the world goes to hell in a handbasket.

• Fred : I'm not really crazy.

  Bill McNeal : You're not?

  Fred : No. I prefer the term crazy.

• Fred : It's your fault I lost my television privileges.

  Bill McNeal : I didn't force you to impersonate a doctor.

  Fred : But you sound just like the little voice inside my head.