My Family (TV Series)

Driving Miss Crazy (2001)

Gabriel Thomson: Michael Harper

Quotes 

• Susan Harper : Ben, nobody's criticising your driving. It's just your...

  Ben : My what?

  Susan Harper : ...attitude.

  Ben : I DO NOT HAVE AN... I... I'm... I'm sorry. What... what do... what do you mean, darling?

  Susan Harper : Your bumper sticker says: "Horn broken - watch for finger!"

  Janey Harper : And that time we went driving in Wales?

  Ben : I drove brilliantly there!

  Michael Harper : Before we set off, you actually took the trouble to learn some Welsh swear words!

• Michael Harper : Mum?

  Susan Harper : Yes, dear?

  Michael Harper : Is madness hereditary?

  Susan Harper : Depends what sort.

  Michael Harper : Dad's sort.

  Susan Harper : What's he doing now?

  Michael Harper : He's crawling round the garden with a tape measure and a meat skewer.

• Janey Harper : Oh, great! Well, my test's in eight days - what am I going to do?

  Susan Harper : Survive?

  Janey Harper : Of course! It's obvious! There's only one person in this house with the maturity, the experience and the people skills to take me driving.

  Ben : Yeah...

  Janey Harper : Michael, are you busy?

  Ben : Ye... what? What? Mi... Michael's 12!

  Michael Harper : 13! But it's what inside that counts!

  Ben : You'll be inside if you get caught!

  Janey Harper : Well, he won't get caught! He... he can sit on a pile of cushions and perhaps wear a false beard...

• Susan Harper : I've decided to put an end to this madness that is ruining all our lives!

  Michael Harper : You're going to kill dad?

• Susan Harper : I just thought it'd be a good idea if Mr Casey and your father sat down like two rational adults.

  Nick : But dad's not rational.

  Susan Harper : I know! That's where I'll come in.

  Nick : Haha!

  Susan Harper : While your father's out taking Janey to her driving test, I thought I'd use my people skills to negotiate a truce. Like the United Nations.

  Michael Harper : With as much success.