Mork & Mindy (TV Series)

A Morkville Horror (1979)

Gina Hecht: Jean DaVinci

Quotes 

• Jean DaVinci : Mindy, I don't want to upset you, but after Mork told us what went on in your house, I did a little research, and I found this old book in the library.

  Mindy McConnell : Colorado Legends?

  Mork : Oh, intriguing!

  Remo DaVinci : That's just bunk!

  Jean DaVinci : [opens book]  Recognize this?

  Mindy McConnell : Yeah, it kind of looks like my house.

  Jean DaVinci : It is, in 1921. Only then it was known as Lafalette House.

  Mindy McConnell : Lafalette is my mother's maiden name.

  Jean DaVinci : Well, this book says two sisters built this home in 1894, Lucinda and Dedra Lafalette.

  Mindy McConnell : Lucinda and Dedra? They must've been my great, great aunts or something.

  Jean DaVinci : Well according to this, Lucinda was the older sister and she wasn't so attractive, but she was madly in love with this handsome young silver miner named Harrison Monteith; but he was in love with the young and beautiful Dedra. Then one night they found Harrison's body. He'd been mysteriously poisoned, but no one could prove who did it. After that, the sisters boarded themselves up in the house, and they were never seen again until the day they died.

  Mindy McConnell : Oh that's great, that happened in my house? That's terrific.

  Jean DaVinci : Well, it could be that Lucinda and Dedra don't want their house sold.

• Mindy McConnell : Aw gee, why am I feeling like this? I mean it's just a house.

  Jean DaVinci : It was your home, Mindy, there is a big difference between a house and a home.

  Mindy McConnell : Yeah, a house is bricks and wood siding and a home is memories.

  Jean DaVinci : Yeah, where you lick cookies off the mixer blade.

  Mindy McConnell : Aw, you did that too?

  Jean DaVinci : Yeah, I always had to keep my eye on Remo so he wouldn't turn the mixer on.

• Jean DaVinci : [Mork screams and runs under the table]  I think something's troubling him.

  Mindy McConnell : Mork, will you come out?

  [Mork screams high pitched] 

  Mindy McConnell : Mork, what's the matter?

  Mork : Oh nothing much, just that your house tried to attack me! That's all!

  Mindy McConnell : Oh come on, Mork, really!

  Mork : WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'COME ON REALLY'?

  [comes out from under the table] 

  Mork : Mindy I'm telling you the truth! I was at the house and I was hanging wallpaper, and a wind BLEW in the air across the room! Then it got real cold! Then real hot! And then a swarm of bees came in! Nya-nya-nya-nya-nya! Then a swarm of flies! Zip-zip-zip-zip-zip-zip-zip! And then I ran flamboyantly to the window screaming 'Ah-a-a-a-a-a-ah!' and it slammed shut! Then this is the terrifying part, I was standing there and the furniture started attacking me! Yes! A little ottoman, and an ottowoman too! They're coming at me! And the armchair couldn't keep its hands to itself! And a strange voice kept crying out 'GET out of HEEERE!' By the time it said 'here', I was HERE!

  Mindy McConnell : Have you been hitting the cream soda again?

  Mork : Mindy, you gotta believe me! You gotta believe me!

  Mindy McConnell : Believe you? What am I supposed to believe? That my house is haunted?

  Mork : Well it's either that or I've lost my mind.

  [laughs] 

  Mork : Maybe you better call the police and ask them to look for a little gray squishy thing!

  Jean DaVinci : He could be right! You know there are case histories of haunted houses?