M*A*S*H (TV Series)
Strange Bedfellows (1983)
William Christopher: Father Francis Mulcahy
Quotes
-
Maj. Charles Winchester : Uh, I'm afraid there is the possibility slim though it be that I...
[whimpers]
Maj. Charles Winchester : snore.
Father Francis Mulcahy : Snore. Oh. Good heavens, Major. What... courage it took to admit that.
Maj. Charles Winchester : Well, Father, I'm afraid you don't understand. See, all my life, I have harbored a secret dread that I may not be worthy of my name, that I'm not good enough to be a Winchester. What if all this malarkey is true, that I do... snore like a common factory worker? What if that's just the tip of the iceberg? What if there are even more vulgar traits lurking just underneath the surface? Today... snoring. Tomorrow, sitting in front of a TV with a cold brew watching roller derby? What if, perish the thought, I am actually the same as everybody else? I couldn't live with that.
Father Francis Mulcahy : Well, Major... I certainly am glad you've confided in me. This shows me a dimension of you that I had never fully appreciated.
Maj. Charles Winchester : Well, thank you, Father.
Father Francis Mulcahy : Speaking as one whose ancestors were factory workers, and who likes roller derby and a good brew, do I understand you to say that if you can't be better than me then there's no point in living?
Maj. Charles Winchester : Well, now, don't take it personally, Father.
Father Francis Mulcahy : Why should I take it personally? By the way, did I ever tell you about the time I was thrown out of the seminary dorm for snoring?
Maj. Charles Winchester : Uh...
Father Francis Mulcahy : The truth of the matter is you're not superior to any of us whether you snore or not.
Maj. Charles Winchester : Shh!
Father Francis Mulcahy : And at times like this, I'm not even sure you're equal.
-
Maj. Charles Winchester : Well, this is certainly the last time I ever come to you with a serious problem.
Father Francis Mulcahy : I'm still waiting for the first time!
