Get Smart (TV Series)

The Man from YENTA (1967)

Don Adams: Maxwell Smart

Photos 

Quotes 

• Chief : [Wanting Max to check for possible poison in the Prince's food]  Taste the coffee.

  Maxwell Smart : No thanks, Chief, I don't drink coffee, it keeps me awake.

  Chief : Taste it Max, that's an order!

  Maxwell Smart : [Takes the cup and saucer]  Wait a minute, Chief, what if this coffee is poisoned?

  Chief : Then it won't keep you awake.

• Chief : [faced with four men dressed like Prince Abu Ben Bubi]  Wait a minute, what is this? Max which one are you?

  Maxwell Smart : Right here, Chief.

  Le Moco : [impersonating Max]  Right here, Chief.

  Maxwell Smart : Right here, Chief.

  Le Moco : No, he's Le Moco, I'm Max.

  Maxwell Smart : Don't fall for that, Chief. I'm Max.

  Prince : I'm the prince.

  Agent 498 : I'm hungry.

• Maxwell Smart : [Max shoots Le Moco dead] 

  Chief : Max. Max, where are you?

  Maxwell Smart : Right here, Chief. That's Le Moco on the ground. Tear off his beard.

  [the Chief tears the the fake beard off Le Moco] 

  Agent 498 : That's Le Moco alright.

  Chief : Good shooting Max, you got him.

  Agent 498 : Get him a glass of water.

  Chief : He's dead, it wouldn't help.

  Agent 498 : It wouldn't hurt.

• Agent 498 : And you, Smart, I feel towards you like I feel towards my own brother-in-law.

  Maxwell Smart : Brother.

  Agent 498 : No, brother-in-law. I don't talk to my brother.

• Agent 498 : And if any of you ever get to my country, be sure and give me a call; I'll be happy to show you around.

  [grabs his card] 

  Agent 498 : You can eh, you can reach me at that number.

  Maxwell Smart : [reads the card]  Oscar's delicatessen. Say, that's a great idea, using a delicatessen for a front.

  Agent 498 : What front? That's the business we're in. We only do spy work during our slack season.

• Agent 99 : Oh Max, you're so brave. You're going to get a medal for this.

  Maxwell Smart : There's something more important than medals, 99.

  Agent 99 : What?

  Maxwell Smart : It's after six. I get overtime.

• Maxwell Smart : [13 is hiding in the chimney of Prince Ali Ben Bubee's suite]  Look, I know you got a lonely job, 13, but there's no need to be sarcastic about it.

  Agent 13 : Well, it does have its' compensations. The other side of this chimney opens on the harem girls' suite.

• Agent 498 : Wait a minute, aren't you going to ask, "how was your flight"?

  Maxwell Smart : Alright, how was your flight?

  Agent 498 : Don't ask.

• Agent 498 : I'll use my "shh".

  Maxwell Smart : What's a "shh"?

  Agent 498 : It's what you call a silencer.

• Chief : Max, come here.

  [Max steps forward] 

  Chief : Now which one is the prince?

  Maxwell Smart : Uh, I'm not sure Chief, but there is one way to find out.

  Chief : How?

  Maxwell Smart : Number 1, what's your name?

  Le Moco : [Impersonating the Prince]  My name is Prince Abu Ben Bubi.

  Maxwell Smart : Number 2, what's your name?

  Prince : My name is Prince Abu Ben Bubi.

  Maxwell Smart : Number 3?

  Agent 498 : Hm?

  Maxwell Smart : How many wives do you have?

  Chief : Max, stop it. There is only one way to find out who is really the prince.

  Maxwell Smart : Right, Chief. Will the real Prince Abu Ben Bubee step forward?

  Chief : No, Max! The real prince is the one with the real beard. I'll start with number 1.

  [They get into a tackle not long before Max gets out of it and manages to shoot Le Moco] 

• Maxwell Smart : [Max enters his apartment and finds the Prince, Le Moco and Agent 498 all wearing the same clothing]  Prince, your highness, hello Bubi. Wait a minute. There's something very wrong here.

  Le Moco : [Impersonating the prince]  One of those two men is Le Moco, quick give me the gun.

  Prince : Don't do it, he's Le Moco.

  Maxwell Smart : Who are you?

  Prince : I am Prince Abu Ben Bubi.

  Maxwell Smart : How do I know your not Le Moco?

  Agent 498 : You can believe him, Smart.

  Maxwell Smart : And who are you?

  Agent 498 : I'm Agent 498.

  Maxwell Smart : Oh no you're not, I just left Agent 498 a few hours ago, and he hasn't even started to grow a beard.

  Agent 498 : Well we know you're Maxwell Smart.

  [the Prince and 498 nod in agreement] 

  Maxwell Smart : Don't confuse me.

  Le Moco : [Impersonating Max]  Yes? How do you know I'm not Maxwell Smart?

  Maxwell Smart : Hey, that's very good. What other impressions do you do?

• Chief : [after the Chief receives a call from YENTA, he sits down looking worried] 

  Maxwell Smart : What's the matter, Chief, bad news?

  Chief : Le Moco.

  Maxwell Smart : Le Moco?

  Chief : He's KAOS's top assassin. He's just been given the assignment of killing the prince.

  Maxwell Smart : I'll be ready for him, Chief.

  Chief : Max, Le Moco is no ordinary assassin, he's fiendishly unpredictable, and a master of disguise and voice impersonation. In 27 assignments he has never failed yet.

  Maxwell Smart : That's quite a record. His parents must be very proud of him.

  Chief : He doesn't have any parents, Max. They were his first assignment.

• Maxwell Smart : Oh Chief, what time does 498's plane arrive?

  Chief : [Chief looks at his watch]  In exactly 15 minutes.

  Maxwell Smart : 15 minutes?

  [Max looks at his watch] 

  Maxwell Smart : Why did YENTA wait so long to call?

  Chief : They work on a limited budget, Max, they have to wait until after 6 o'clock for the long distance rates to change.

  Maxwell Smart : Lucky they didn't drop us a postcard.

• Maxwell Smart : [At the airport, Max and 498 fail to catch Le Moco, having slipped through without being noticed]  Le Moco loose in the city and the prince is a sitting duck. Come on, my car's right outside, we'd better get back to headquarters immediately.

  Agent 498 : I'll be with you right away, I have to call Tel Aviv.

  Maxwell Smart : Tel Aviv? Now?

  Agent 498 : I promised my mother I'd call her the minute I arrived. She worries.

• Chief : With all that rolling and scuffling around, how did you know Number 2 was Number 2?

  Maxwell Smart : Eh?

  Chief : How did you know it was Number 2?

  Maxwell Smart : Oh. Well that was just a lucky guess.

• Chief : Max, we've learned that one of the prince's wives is a KAOS agent.

  Maxwell Smart : Which one is it?

  Chief : Well, we don't know, it could be the tall, exotic one, it could be the short, voluptuous one, it could be...

  Maxwell Smart : I'll check them all out immediately, Chief.

  Chief : Max, he has 33 wives.

  Maxwell Smart : So, it'll take a little time.