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Filthy Rich & Catflap (TV Series)
Episode #1.6 (1987)
Adrian Edmondson: Edward Catflap
Photos
Quotes
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Edward Catflap : You try and get my wallet out of my pocket without me noticing.
Richard Rich : All right, Skip. Shouldn't be too difficult, you got hit by a bus last week and didn't notice, did you?
Edward Catflap : Yeah, well, I had a lot on my mind.
Richard Rich : You would do with a bus on your head, wouldn't you?
Edward Catflap : Ha ha, brilliant joke, Richie.
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Ralph Filthy : This is no time to mince with words, Eddie. We must be honest. Richie is a lying, cheating, vicious right-wing bastard with the sexual sophistication of a mentally-retarded donkey. Which means, you are ideally suited to be...
Richard Rich : [disgusted] A journalist?
Ralph Filthy : Yeah.
Ralph Filthy : You mean...
[puts on his hat]
Ralph Filthy : join the scum?
Edward Catflap : Become a journo?
Ralph Filthy : Yes.
Edward Catflap : What shall we do for an encore, Filthy, set fire to a hospital?
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Dingo Wucker : How many more times do I have to tell people, I'm not interested in women over 25 unless they are lovable grannies. Now don't argue with me about this. I see our whole Budget coverage as a six-tit story, maybe even seven.
Edward Catflap : Seven tits?
Dingo Wucker : Yeah, profile shot, very tasteful.
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Edward Catflap : Richie?
Richard Rich : What?
Edward Catflap : I think there's something rather unpleasant on your trouser area.
Richard Rich : What is it?
Edward Catflap : My head.
[headbutts Richie's groin]
Richard Rich : Oh, bloody hell, that hurt, Eddie! Oh ow, now that really hurt! That reall...
Edward Catflap : I must say, that was a lot harder than I was expecting.
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Edward Catflap : [thinking up a tabloid headline for Richie] Sex, drinks, nightclubs!
Richard Rich : I've got it: Richie has some sex and a drink in a nightclub.
Edward Catflap : No, no. What about: Richie has sex with a knight while drunk in a club?
Richard Rich : Good, good. What about: Richie gets put in the club by a drunk during the night?