The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)

The Sound of the Trumpets of Conscience Falls Deafly on a Brain That Holds Its Ears... (1963)

Dick Van Dyke: Rob Petrie

Photos 

Quotes 

• Laura Petrie : I don't know what to fix for dinner. What do you feel like?

  Rob Petrie : Chicken.

• Rob Petrie : She was wearing a green dress.

  Lt. Yarnell : How was she built?

  Rob Petrie : Just great, great.

• Rob Petrie : A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. And so do I.

• Buddy Sorrell : Boy, I'm sure glad I didn't see those two people.

  Rob Petrie : Why?

  Buddy Sorrell : Well, once I-I witnessed an accident. There was a car and a fruit truck, and like a jerk I went and reported it. Hoo, boy, I'll never make THAT mistake again.

  Sally Rogers : Why?

  Buddy Sorrell : Well, one of the guys turns out to be a nut, and he keeps threatening me all week long - calls, you know, on the phone - "You better get down or I'm gonna run you over with my fruit truck."

  Sally Rogers : Yeah, but he didn't, did he?

  Buddy Sorrell : No, he didn't, but he got me scared. Now every time I see a fruit truck, I break out in hives.

• Laura Petrie : Well, I'm just glad this whole thing is over.

  Rob Petrie : Well, I am too, but... I don't know. In a way, I wish I could have been a little more helpful to 'em.

  Laura Petrie : Well, I am delighted that you weren't.

  Rob Petrie : Honey, that is not a very good attitude to have.

  Laura Petrie : Rob, you did much more than most people would.

  Rob Petrie : Wha... No, I did not. Some people have good memories. They remember little details. I... I didn't even get the license plate off their Edsel.

  Rob Petrie : [realizing he DOES know something useful]  They had an Edsel.

  Laura Petrie : [worried]  You saw them drive an Edsel?

  Rob Petrie : A red Edsel.

  Laura Petrie : I think you're back in jeopardy.

  Rob Petrie : How could I forget a fire engine red Edsel? Uh, Honey, there's only one thing to do.

  Laura Petrie : [as Rob moves to the telephone]  Oh, Rob, don't!

  Rob Petrie : Honey, I have GOT to. I can't withhold information like that.

  Laura Petrie : What? Y... yes, you can!

  Rob Petrie : Honey...

  Laura Petrie : Darling, let's analyze this.

  Rob Petrie : Analyze what?

  Laura Petrie : What do you actually remember? A red Edsel. There must be thousands of red Edsels running around... SOMEWHERE.

  Rob Petrie : There may be, but I'll bet there's only one red Edsel running around with bumper stickers that say "I Like Ike" and "Visit Carlsbad Caverns."

  Laura Petrie : Oh... Will you stop remembering?

• Rob Petrie : Honey, you don't have to go down there with me.

  Laura Petrie : I know.

  Rob Petrie : Well, nothin's gonna happen.

  Laura Petrie : I know that, too. I just want to be there when it doesn't.