The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)

The Lady and the Baby Sitter (1964)

Dick Van Dyke: Rob Petrie

Quotes 

• Rob Petrie : Will you promise me never ever to talk me into talking to anybody again?

  Laura Petrie : I do.

  Rob Petrie : Good.

  Laura Petrie : Now you promise me something.

  Rob Petrie : What?

  Laura Petrie : You'll talk to Roger.

• Laura Petrie : [after reading Roger's love letter]  Rob, what are we gonna do?

  Rob Petrie : Before I make any suggestions, how do you feel about HIM?

• Rob Petrie : Oh, you wanna talk about... talk about your girl?

  Roger McChesney : She's not my girlfriend. She never will be. She's unobtainable.

  Rob Petrie : Oh, Roger. There's no such thing as that. You take Mrs. Petrie.

  Roger McChesney : WHAT?

• Rob Petrie : [reading from Roger's letter]  "Now that I have sounded the last note, I hope it will linger forever as a tribute to Laura Petrie, the fairest of women. She walks with grace, in beauty, and has a youth and spirit that belies her years."

• Rob Petrie : Honey, you married a very shy, retiring guy. That's all.

  Laura Petrie : Okay, then how come five different girls wore your fraternity pin?

  Rob Petrie : Because none of 'em wanted it, that's why. They kept givin' it to each other. It's like a game. The music stopped, and whoever got Petrie's pin had to go out with him.

• Laura Petrie : When you were 17, you were known as Rapid Robert, the Devil of Danville High.

  Rob Petrie : That name didn't have anything to do with girls.

  Laura Petrie : Your mother said...

  Rob Petrie : I know. My mother said that to scare you, and you know it. She figured you wouldn't want to marry a Casanova. She didn't like you, you know.

  Laura Petrie : I know it.