The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)

The Alan Brady Show Goes to Jail (1964)

Morey Amsterdam: Buddy Sorrell

Quotes 

• Buddy Sorrell : [in prison]  Hey, girls, be careful where you sit down. Be sure the chairs ain't plugged in.

• Buddy Sorrell : Hey, why don't you stay in longer, you know, after your term is up?

  Lyle Delp : What for?

  Buddy Sorrell : Build up a credit in case they nab ya again.

• Lyle Delp : Well, ya see, uh... we-we haven't had a show here in several months, eh-heh.

  Buddy Sorrell : Gee, I thought you had one every week.

  Lyle Delp : Well, we... we do, you see, but, uh, the warden had to postpone the last one, uh, because of the riot.

  Rob Petrie : The riot?

  Lyle Delp : Well, eh-heh, it wasn't exactly a riot. It was sort of a... a difference of opinion, eh-heh... with injuries.

  Buddy Sorrell : What was the riot about?

  Lyle Delp : They didn't like the last show.

  Rob Petrie : He's kiddin' us.

  [Lyle shakes his head] 

  Rob Petrie : He's not kidding.

• Buddy Sorrell : There's a real sweetheart of a guy. Does great imitations. He did Dillinger so good, they're holding him over for twenty years.

• Buddy Sorrell : Hey, you wanna hear a little music? You're gonna hear as little as possible.

• Lyle Delp : [regarding Buddy's heart print underwear]  Those are the craziest shorts I ever saw.

  Buddy Sorrell : They're a Mother's Day present.

  Lyle Delp : Mother's Day?

  Buddy Sorrell : Yeah. I got it for my mother but she wouldn't wear 'em.

• Buddy Sorrell : Hey, you sure they like short, fat, cello players?

  Lyle Delp : They'll love you. You have nothing to be afraid of.

  Sally Rogers : They've never heard him play.

• Buddy Sorrell : You know how they play Russian Roulette in India? One of the cobras is hard of hearing.

• Buddy Sorrell : Hey, why don't you become a comedy writer?

  Lyle Delp : No, I - I - I can't write jokes

  Buddy Sorrell : What write? Steal 'em.

• Buddy Sorrell : A song you all love, "It's better to be on the rock pile than have the rock pile on you."

• Buddy Sorrell : 30 days has September and my Uncle Irving for booking horses.