Barney Miller (TV Series)
Hair (1975)
Ron Glass: Det. Ron Harris
Quotes
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Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Okay Chano, what do you call that ?
Det. Sgt. Chano Amenguale : What do you mean ?
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : I mean that thing that looks like it just crawled out from under the rock.
Det. Sgt. Chano Amenguale : I don't know, he's got a certain style
Det. Ron Harris : Oh, yeah right !, Right off the cover of Harper's Bizarre
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : What's that thing in his ear ?
Det. Sgt. Chano Amenguale : That, I don't know about
Det. Phil Fish : That was an alarm, you pull on it, if his beard catches on fire
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Barney Miller : Wojo, you and Harris, fill out paperwork
Det. Ron Harris : Whose the new man ?
Det. Ron Harris : His name is Paul Gardeno, spent a couple years over in Narcotics. He's got a good street record. Tough, efficient, he's a loner
Det. Ron Harris : Sound's charming
Det. Sgt. Chano Amenguale : Hey, why don't you team him up with me. We can make a very exciting couple !
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : We haven't even got our plumbing fixed it ?
Det. Ron Harris : Hey man, what's that got to do with Gardeno ?
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : We need a plumber, a lot more than we need a new cop ?
Barney Miller : Maybe he's handy around the house ?
Barney Miller : Chano, you and Fish . You can take care of these
Det. Sgt. Chano Amenguale : Alright
Barney Miller : Nick, you and me, we got to work on these extract reports
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Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : We, uh, don't got any water, either. But, uh, I'll boil some, if you want to shave
Detective Paul Gardeno : I'm fine
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : You mean, you're going to stay that way ?
Detective Paul Gardeno : What way is that ?
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Well, you know, uh... sloppy.
Detective Paul Gardeno : Does it bother you ?
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : No, it's just a matter of personal preference, I guess, You never been in the service, uh ?
Detective Paul Gardeno : Yeah, two years in Vietnam ?
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : I guess, you didn't have time to change since you have been back ?
Det. Ron Harris : Hey man, Gardeno. You see, man , well, it's just that,, we take pride in the 1-2, so we dress clean we shave every morning, you know ?
Detective Paul Gardeno : Terrific
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Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : And what's the address ?... 11th..Okay, we will be right there. Barney, we got a call for assistance at a bar over on 11th. Hey, Harris, come on, we got business.
Det. Ron Harris : Okay, see you later, guys, keep a light burning in the window , huh?
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Barney Miller : Anybody seen Fish, its almost 3 o' clock.
Det. Ron Harris : He's probably still eating, you know how long it it takes him to chew.
Barney Miller : Check with dispatch, see if he called in.
Det. Ron Harris : Okay
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Det. Ron Harris : Hey Wojo, for crying out loud, man.
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Well, I thought he was... there for official business, wasn't he Barn ?
Barney Miller : Probably
Elizabeth Miller : Did you send him there, Barney ?
Barney Miller : I didn't have to. Fish has initiative.
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Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Come on ! , Come On !
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Just take it easy Mr. Cooper, your in enough trouble all ready
Lyman Cooper : Self-defense, that guy took a swing at me, first, you know and so did she.
Barney Miller : What's he doing up here ?
Det. Ron Harris : Lyman Cooper -- Drunk. Disorderly. Assault and Battery.
Lyman Cooper : Nobody can take a joke no more. I'm just sitting at the bar minding my own business and this blonde comes over to me and she says "Buy you a drink sweetie" and I says to her "How dare you?" and then this big guy comes over to me. The guy takes a cut at me and then the blonde knocks me right off the barstool. Well, maybe it was the other way around.
Barney Miller : Take a seat, Mr. Cooper
Lyman Cooper : Hey buy you a drink ?
Barney Miller : Uh, no
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Barney Miller : Hey, hot of the press, tour sheets. And a communique from headquarter. Gardeno goes back to narcotics as soon as he gets out of the hospital
Det. Sgt. Chano Amenguale : Oh, yeah, I'll tell you, he's going to be glad to hear that because he has a four-day growth of beard and he's polished his earring
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : I still don't understand why the guy needs gimmicks to do his job ? He's good enough without them.
Det. Sgt. Chano Amenguale : What's that around your neck ?
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : My Marine dog-tags, but I don't need them. I just wear them for... luck
Det. Ron Harris : Ah, he wouldn't be caught dead without them.
Det. Sgt. Chano Amenguale : Right
Barney Miller : What about the slave bracelet ?
Det. Ron Harris : Hey, man, that's a genuine antique. That belonged to my great-grandfather
Barney Miller : Everybody needs something
Det. Sgt. Chano Amenguale : Yeah, listen, I got a good luck tattoo but you can't see it because it's under my cast
[lips "pretty stuff?"]
Det. Phil Fish : I got lucky teeth
Yemana : How come there lucky ?
Det. Phil Fish : My dentist died before they were half-paid for .