Are You Being Served? (TV Series)

Fifty Years On (1976)

Arthur Brough: Mr. Grainger

Quotes 

• ["Er" is substituted for Mrs. Slocombe's unknown first name while practicing "Happy Birthday To You"] 

  Captain Peacock : What are we going to sing now: er, er-er, er-er-er, or er-er-er-er?

  Mr. Rumbold : Er...

  Mr. Dick Lucas : I'll settle for that.

  Mr. Rumbold : No, we'll have to ers.

  Mr. Ernest Grainger : I entirely agree, two er is human! Haha...

• Mr. Ernest Grainger : [the staff decides on a birthday for Mrs. Slocombe]  I vote we give her a cyanide tablet. No, I take that back.

  Captain Peacock : Good.

  Mr. Ernest Grainger : Two cyanide tablets, in case the first one doesn't work.

• Mr. Ernest Grainger : She has very beautiful ears; they give her a very pretty profile. Mind you, head on it's a bit of a shock.

• Mr. Wilberforce Clayborne Humphries : I ask Mother how old she is and she tells me "as old as my nose and slightly older than my teeth".

  Mr. Ernest Grainger : I'm a great deal older than my teeth