The Andy Griffith Show (TV Series)
Dogs, Dogs, Dogs (1963)
Don Knotts: Barney Fife
Photos
Quotes
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[reassuring Opie after releasing a group of dogs into the countryside as a thunderstorm approaches]
Barney Fife : Oh, a dog can't get struck by lightning. You know why? Because he's - he's too close to the ground. See, lightning strikes tall things. Now, now if they was giraffes out there in that field, well, then we'd be in trouble.
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Barney Fife : [to the dogs in the squad car] All right, move over. I'm drivin'.
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[Otis overhears Barney reading a letter regarding added funding for the Sheriff's Office]
Otis Campbell : Hey, Barney? What do you guys need more money for?
Barney Fife : Plenty! You, for one! I don't know why Aunt Bee has to fix you them fancy meals at Andy's own personal expense! What we *should* have is a charge account down at The Lunch Room and have the food brought in!
Otis Campbell : Well, you do that and I'll take my business someplace else!
Barney Fife : Don't threaten us, Otis!
Andy Taylor : Now, boys...
Otis Campbell : I ain't gonna eat that food from The Lunch Room! It's too spicy!
Barney Fife : You *drink* anything! You can *eat* anything!
Otis Campbell : I don't eat nothing spicy! It's bad for my liver!
Barney Fife : Aw, your liver's so pickled now, it don't matter!
Otis Campbell : Yeah?
Barney Fife : Yeah!
Andy Taylor : Fellas!
Barney Fife : I'll say it right to your face, Otis! You got a pickled liver!
Otis Campbell : That's better than having a pickled puss!
Barney Fife : Yeah?
Otis Campbell : Yeah!
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Barney Fife : Boy, giraffes are selfish! Just run around lookin' after number one, gettin' hit by lightning!