- [reassuring Opie after releasing a group of dogs into the countryside as a thunderstorm approaches]
- Barney Fife: Oh, a dog can't get struck by lightning. You know why? Because he's - he's too close to the ground. See, lightning strikes tall things. Now, now if they was giraffes out there in that field, well, then we'd be in trouble.
- [Otis overhears Barney reading a letter regarding added funding for the Sheriff's Office]
- Otis Campbell: Hey, Barney? What do you guys need more money for?
- Barney Fife: Plenty! You, for one! I don't know why Aunt Bee has to fix you them fancy meals at Andy's own personal expense! What we should have is a charge account down at The Lunch Room and have the food brought in!
- Otis Campbell: Well, you do that and I'll take my business someplace else!
- Barney Fife: Don't threaten us, Otis!
- Andy Taylor: Now, boys...
- Otis Campbell: I ain't gonna eat that food from The Lunch Room! It's too spicy!
- Barney Fife: You drink anything, you can eat anything!
- Otis Campbell: I don't eat nothing spicy! It's bad for my liver!
- Barney Fife: Aw, your liver's so pickled now, it don't matter!
- Otis Campbell: Yeah?
- Barney Fife: Yeah!
- Andy Taylor: Fellas!
- Barney Fife: I'll say it right to your face, Otis! You got a pickled liver!
- Otis Campbell: That's better than having a pickled puss!
- Barney Fife: Yeah?
- Otis Campbell: Yeah!
- Barney Fife: Boy, giraffes are selfish! Just run around lookin' after number one, gettin' hit by lightning!
- Andy Taylor: Where'd you get the dog?
- Opie Taylor: He followed me, Pa. Followed me everywhere I went.
- Andy Taylor: He did? What you doin' with a rope on him?
- Opie Taylor: Well, that helped him follow me.