The Andy Griffith Show (TV Series)
Andy and Barney in the Big City (1962)
Don Knotts: Barney Fife
Photos
Quotes
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Hotel Clerk : [presenting room keys] Here you are, Mr. Taylor and Mr. Fife. Excuse me: "Doctor" Fife.
Andy Taylor : "Doctor" Fife?
Hotel Clerk : [reading registration card] "Bernard Fife, M.D."
Andy Taylor : M.D.?
Barney Fife : That's the way I always sign. Bernard Fife, M.D.
Barney Fife : [pressured under Andy's gaze] "Mayberry Deputy".
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[Andy signals the maître d' to interpret the French menu]
Barney Fife : Don't do that, Andy. You'll embarrass me. He'll think you're just a plain hick.
Andy Taylor : Well, Barney, there's worse things than bein' a plain hick. Like bein' a hungry one!
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[Barney picks up Andy's suitcase]
Andy Taylor : Uh, careful. There's a bottle in there.
Barney Fife : You thought of everything, didn't ya?
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Aunt Bee Taylor : Oh, no! Wait a moment! We almost forgot!
[exits to the kitchen]
Barney Fife : What'd she forget?
Andy Taylor : Well, I'll bet you a quarter she forgot a brown paper sack full of sandwiches. I never been on a trip in my life I didn't have to carry a brown paper sack full of sandwiches.
[Aunt Bee re-enters the room]
Andy Taylor : [as if he doesn't already know] What'd you forget, Aunt Bee?
Aunt Bee Taylor : [matter-of-factly] Oh, just a brown paper sack full of sandwiches.
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Andy Taylor : Now, Barn, outside of that meetin' we got with the commissioner, we're - we're really off-duty, you know?
Barney Fife : Off-duty? Huh. Now, when is a lawman *really* off-duty?
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[Opie's lost a tooth overnight]
Barney Fife : Let's hear you say, "Simon sells seashells down by the seashore".
Opie Taylor : Simon... Simon sells seashells... down by the... seashore!
Barney Fife : [chuckles] Hey, that's pretty good!
Opie Taylor : If you think that's somethin', you outta hear me sing a song!