Why are families so tense and unable to be who they are when they are together? It's a mystery. In the lovely film, In the Gloaming, four people grow up together yet are complete strangers. Anne Eliott Dark, who wrote the story and screenplay is clearly close to the subject which she captures well, but decides to tell one of the extraordinary cases where the family doesn't completely reject the gay son.
Having come of age in the 1980s, I can tell you, this is a very rare circumstance. Most of my sick friends were not just rejected, they were called horrible names and told they would rot in hell. They didn't move home, rather they were forced to die alone. It was a dark time in America that I won't ever forget.
But this story is quite different. Danny, born and raised in one of those idyllic (but rigid) New England settings, moves away when he's young, obviously to stretch his wings and live an independent life, free from his past. Unfortunately, while living his life in San Francisco (in publishing) he contracts AIDS. His lover, Paul, can't handle what's happened .... and Danny is forced to move home to be with his parents (David Strathairn and Glen Close) and sister (wonderfully played by Bridget Fonda).
I grew up in this era, and parents were hardly this gracious when their dying son showed up to die, but in this, very rare case, Danny arrives home to a loving mother and father (okay, sort of) who welcome him home. Since Danny is so young, and dying well before his time, no one knows what to do. Hence, they go about things as they normally would, dinner on the patio, walks in the afternoon, drinks before dinner, and it's all just-so-normal.
Then the inevitable comes and Danny starts to deteriorate. Whoopi Goldberg, their full-time caretaker, tries her best to fill in the gaps. What follows are heart-breaking scenes where mother and son talk openly for the first time (the father, just like always, is absent). When the end comes, all of them grieve separately. Then, when Janet (Glenn Close) makes funeral arrangements, her husband notes, "I presume you know what he likes." Then, while reflecting on what he just said, asks "Please, tell me what else my boy liked." As usual, fathers are clueless about their sons until it's too late.
David Grusin's sound track is pitch perfect, underscoring the Scottish theme, In the Gloaming, which is what the Scots use to describe "end of day." It's a lovely film, not overly sentimental, that anyone can relate to. I just wish more families had been so accepting, as this story took me back to the days of me, at the hospital, sitting with young men as they breathed their last breath, without their families, who were too horrified about their son being gay, to be by his side.
Having come of age in the 1980s, I can tell you, this is a very rare circumstance. Most of my sick friends were not just rejected, they were called horrible names and told they would rot in hell. They didn't move home, rather they were forced to die alone. It was a dark time in America that I won't ever forget.
But this story is quite different. Danny, born and raised in one of those idyllic (but rigid) New England settings, moves away when he's young, obviously to stretch his wings and live an independent life, free from his past. Unfortunately, while living his life in San Francisco (in publishing) he contracts AIDS. His lover, Paul, can't handle what's happened .... and Danny is forced to move home to be with his parents (David Strathairn and Glen Close) and sister (wonderfully played by Bridget Fonda).
I grew up in this era, and parents were hardly this gracious when their dying son showed up to die, but in this, very rare case, Danny arrives home to a loving mother and father (okay, sort of) who welcome him home. Since Danny is so young, and dying well before his time, no one knows what to do. Hence, they go about things as they normally would, dinner on the patio, walks in the afternoon, drinks before dinner, and it's all just-so-normal.
Then the inevitable comes and Danny starts to deteriorate. Whoopi Goldberg, their full-time caretaker, tries her best to fill in the gaps. What follows are heart-breaking scenes where mother and son talk openly for the first time (the father, just like always, is absent). When the end comes, all of them grieve separately. Then, when Janet (Glenn Close) makes funeral arrangements, her husband notes, "I presume you know what he likes." Then, while reflecting on what he just said, asks "Please, tell me what else my boy liked." As usual, fathers are clueless about their sons until it's too late.
David Grusin's sound track is pitch perfect, underscoring the Scottish theme, In the Gloaming, which is what the Scots use to describe "end of day." It's a lovely film, not overly sentimental, that anyone can relate to. I just wish more families had been so accepting, as this story took me back to the days of me, at the hospital, sitting with young men as they breathed their last breath, without their families, who were too horrified about their son being gay, to be by his side.