Trapped in the Cabin (2023 TV Movie)
Terrible excuse for a movie
5 January 2024
Warning: Spoilers
This movie could've been written by 10 year-olds. It's not even so bad that it's good; it's just bad. Upon watching the first scene, with off-brand Meghan Markle talking to her editor (we'll call him Ginge) in the car, we knew straight away that he was the villain of the story. This was later confirmed by painfully obvious hints and a poorly executed red-herring of a 'handyman' as the expected villain. The movie is dragged out by boring video calls to Meghan's mother and a friend, who are sat talking to the camera as if they are in a job interview. These interactions aren't the only examples of poor writing and direction, as even scenes where Meghan is alone, she smiles widely and talks to herself, because, either the audience is too stupid to figure out the plot without narration, or the acting is too poor for the audience to infer what she's feeling.

The main character spends the entire movie operating on two brain cells, one noteable example being her fleeing from a locked house into the path of a killer (Ginge), of whom she knows is right outside, into a dark woods, with a broken ankle, far away from any help. This is all whilst believing this killer is the able handyman who is familiar with the layout of the woods and unlike her, does not have a broken ankle. Ten seconds after running away from this killer, she runs into the handyman, wearing different clothes to Ginge, who she believes is the killer and doesn't believe his explanation of being absent the morning after their one-night-stand (which was incredibly unrealistic, idealised bs, and something we skipped through since we were not invested in the either of the characters, let alone their forcefully awkward and rushed interactions). She then proceeds to drop the knife at the heels of this handyman, who she believes is the killer, and hobbles away into the barren woods. She deserved to die for her stupidity, but miraculously survives after waiting until she's tied up by Ginge to start manipulating him to escape, through his obsession with her, and missing countless opportunities to kill him as she gains the upper hand (because he gets distracted by a ring she placed on the ground!?). She also proceeds to give herself a long pep talk and stand completely still to undo the rope binding her hands, whilst missing her opportunity to alert the police man, with a gun, who is right outside with Ginge (who kills the police man for some reason, even though he was about to drive off). After running Ginge over, she ignores directions to stay in the police car until more units arrive and hobbles back into the house.

The only reason why we watched this movie to the end is the beautiful scenery and house. The movie itself was a poorly executed imitation of the movie 'Hush' (which is brilliant and is a much better alternative to this abomination) and thus deserves 0 stars.
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