HEY EVERYBODY, ITS ME (4) ....and today we review .....cloverfield 1989 ....
of course im kidding BUT you have to admit we all though "cloverfield" when they said something fell from the sky lol....
WELL here we have yet another feel good film telling how terrible we humans are for contaminating the world around us .... you know the ol "toxic waste makes monsters" schtick ... BUT here we have an alien come to earth to ...eat? The chemical waste being thrown into a volcano .... YEA because that was a good idea to begin with ....hold up
seriously .... at what point were they sitting around trying to figure out "where should we dump this radioactive waste" and jimmy said "i know what could never possibly go wrong instantly .... an ACTIVE VOLCANO!!!" you know that thing that explodes with melted rocks on fire and utterly destroys everything around it .........yea one of thise ..lets RADIATE one of those ....and irritate its bowls untill it needs to crap itself like late night run to taco bell ...SLPODE !!!!!!!!! But naaaa i mean ... tossing waste barrels in there should be FFIINNNEEEEEE ,,,
fast forward a few weeks i guess and hey now apparently an alien notices from you know ....across space somehow (has a better nose sniffing out radiation to eat than my kids do finding my snack cakes) and it fumbles its was to the source of nom noms ....where it pretty much becomes a 3 story tall crab..... man bot ..... angry ...clam head ..... hose monster ? .... yes .... its unclear if this thing grows , or is just laying down and somehow stilll moves around ...but most of the time its just a claw going after people until the big reveal ... also if it touches you, you get the "ick" ... kind of like when your creepy uncle puts his hand on your shoulder for WAY too long .... yea like that ...only in this film its greenish gunky slime that is alive and we never really see what it can fully do ...i would assume it would turn a person into another form of the creature .....thus replicating it ....and if thats the case then ....lol.... yea these people all screwed up WAY up ...
the monster does leave a bit to be desired i admit .... the big reveal is more like when you think you need to pass a little gas ....so you carefully , slowly ....and quietly s#!t your pants ..... you realize instant regreat and think "yea i wish i just would have left it alone " if they would have just left it being something you never REALLY see in the smoke and dark it would have been 73.6 % better
with some of the acting you could make this black and white and it would fit in perfectly with the more classic 1940/50s era sci fi films ..old war of the worlds/the day the earth stood still etc especially with that ending ...it was VERY old school lol.. "maybe it was just a warning " ... yea ....
but all and all its a great little anti corporation meets monster flick like many from this era, its a fun one ....well worth the watch if youve never seen it and probably worth the rewatch if its been a few years ....
despite the over acting from snake man in a few places lol.... and the monsters lackluster reveal, it does retain some interesting location shots and action moments that will for sure never remind you of predator ...but you know ...there in a jungle so .....theres that ... the sets are solid ...and the miniatures are well done
this film deserves a solid 7/10.
of course im kidding BUT you have to admit we all though "cloverfield" when they said something fell from the sky lol....
WELL here we have yet another feel good film telling how terrible we humans are for contaminating the world around us .... you know the ol "toxic waste makes monsters" schtick ... BUT here we have an alien come to earth to ...eat? The chemical waste being thrown into a volcano .... YEA because that was a good idea to begin with ....hold up
seriously .... at what point were they sitting around trying to figure out "where should we dump this radioactive waste" and jimmy said "i know what could never possibly go wrong instantly .... an ACTIVE VOLCANO!!!" you know that thing that explodes with melted rocks on fire and utterly destroys everything around it .........yea one of thise ..lets RADIATE one of those ....and irritate its bowls untill it needs to crap itself like late night run to taco bell ...SLPODE !!!!!!!!! But naaaa i mean ... tossing waste barrels in there should be FFIINNNEEEEEE ,,,
fast forward a few weeks i guess and hey now apparently an alien notices from you know ....across space somehow (has a better nose sniffing out radiation to eat than my kids do finding my snack cakes) and it fumbles its was to the source of nom noms ....where it pretty much becomes a 3 story tall crab..... man bot ..... angry ...clam head ..... hose monster ? .... yes .... its unclear if this thing grows , or is just laying down and somehow stilll moves around ...but most of the time its just a claw going after people until the big reveal ... also if it touches you, you get the "ick" ... kind of like when your creepy uncle puts his hand on your shoulder for WAY too long .... yea like that ...only in this film its greenish gunky slime that is alive and we never really see what it can fully do ...i would assume it would turn a person into another form of the creature .....thus replicating it ....and if thats the case then ....lol.... yea these people all screwed up WAY up ...
the monster does leave a bit to be desired i admit .... the big reveal is more like when you think you need to pass a little gas ....so you carefully , slowly ....and quietly s#!t your pants ..... you realize instant regreat and think "yea i wish i just would have left it alone " if they would have just left it being something you never REALLY see in the smoke and dark it would have been 73.6 % better
with some of the acting you could make this black and white and it would fit in perfectly with the more classic 1940/50s era sci fi films ..old war of the worlds/the day the earth stood still etc especially with that ending ...it was VERY old school lol.. "maybe it was just a warning " ... yea ....
but all and all its a great little anti corporation meets monster flick like many from this era, its a fun one ....well worth the watch if youve never seen it and probably worth the rewatch if its been a few years ....
despite the over acting from snake man in a few places lol.... and the monsters lackluster reveal, it does retain some interesting location shots and action moments that will for sure never remind you of predator ...but you know ...there in a jungle so .....theres that ... the sets are solid ...and the miniatures are well done
this film deserves a solid 7/10.