Witchouse is one of those movies that seemed to straddle that period between the death of video rental stores and the advent of budget DVD you'd find in places like supermarkets and convenience stores. I remember the cover vividly, admittedly more as on the DVD side. Truth be told, despite the affinity for horror I have, and my penchant for watching ANYTHING at the time, it never really appealed to me. The cover looked like early photoshop fan art for a Witchboard or Night of the Demons spin-off.
However, we find ourselves, in an era of streaming, and I'm bored. So here we are.
The movie centres on Elizabeth (Ashley McKinney) a slightly spooky girl who invites several schoolmates over for a 'May Day Party'. They're an unusual bunch, physics boffin Jack (Matt Rafferty) and his senior equivalent Brad (Ryan Scott Green), jock Scott (Dane Northcutt) and his cheerleader Maria (Marissa Tait), pothead Tony (Dave Oren Ward), his rockstar girlfriend Janet (Brooke Mueller) and random Jennifer (Monica Snow) who it transpires are all descendants of old townspeople who burned a witch at the stake hundreds of years ago, who is, of course, an ancestor of Elizabeth. Which they find out at a seance. Naturally.
In a completely unpredictable turn of events, this is all a scheme to summon Elizabeth's evil ancestor Lilith (Ariauna Albright) who wants to exact her supernatural revenge on the descendants of her killers. But where does Jennifer fit in?
I'll admit I didn't start Witchouse (god that is annoying to type) with high expectations, but they went positively subterranean when Charles Band's name appeared in the credits. Now don't get me wrong, Band has actually played a part in more than one movie I've genuinely enjoyed. Probably more than I want to admit to be honest. But by 1999 he was rather in autopilot, and truth be told I was surprised he managed a movie without killer toys.
Now the film has a lot of the hallmarks of the worst Full Moon movies, bad acting, worse scripts, a soundtrack that's rather overblown, but it's not without its positives. The spooky old mansion it's filmed in is actually very cool and atmospheric, and as much as I hate the demonic design the effects are largely passable to good, particularly for a movie on this budget. There's one laughably silly part where we see a shot of Lillith's feet hovering that's quite clearly just a pair of empty boots being suspended from above, but I can deal with that.
There are problems though. I can live with the plot that I think can be guessed from start to finish from reading the synopsis, but even within the confines of the genre, there's disappointment here. The deaths/possessions are neither scary nor gory, so that's your 2 key horror demographics disappointed, and the big 'twist' doesn't end up making a lick of sense.
To cap it off, this is painfully late 90s. Nobody gets into a movie like this expecting anything but cardboard cutout character tropes, and to be honest the jock and cheerleader don't bother me. The 90s stoner archetype and his mouthy rock chick girlfriend, who carries a guitar everywhere, are cinematic torture though. The geeky protagonist saving the day and having hilariously awkward interaction with his first love interest is something Full Moon would become briefly obsessed with around this point, which, given this is always the protagonist, says a lot about what they viewed as their target audience.
These characters aren't really helped by the actors, but in all honesty the script doesn't give them much room to succeed. Mueller, who would go on to more notoriety as a wife of Charlie Sheen and friend of Paris Hilton, is probably the worst, but her dialog is so awful I'm not sure who is really to blame. I was disappointed we didn't get more of McKinney, not just because she's beautiful, but because the character is so undercooked. We're told she's been a nice girl, just weird, but from the first minute we know she's up to no good so there's no character development. Mainly because she's beautiful though.
When it comes down to it, I imagine Full Moon fans still with the company by 1999 will probably lap it up, but for everyone else this is one you can avoid. I might still watch the sequels, because I'm just a glutton for punishment.
However, we find ourselves, in an era of streaming, and I'm bored. So here we are.
The movie centres on Elizabeth (Ashley McKinney) a slightly spooky girl who invites several schoolmates over for a 'May Day Party'. They're an unusual bunch, physics boffin Jack (Matt Rafferty) and his senior equivalent Brad (Ryan Scott Green), jock Scott (Dane Northcutt) and his cheerleader Maria (Marissa Tait), pothead Tony (Dave Oren Ward), his rockstar girlfriend Janet (Brooke Mueller) and random Jennifer (Monica Snow) who it transpires are all descendants of old townspeople who burned a witch at the stake hundreds of years ago, who is, of course, an ancestor of Elizabeth. Which they find out at a seance. Naturally.
In a completely unpredictable turn of events, this is all a scheme to summon Elizabeth's evil ancestor Lilith (Ariauna Albright) who wants to exact her supernatural revenge on the descendants of her killers. But where does Jennifer fit in?
I'll admit I didn't start Witchouse (god that is annoying to type) with high expectations, but they went positively subterranean when Charles Band's name appeared in the credits. Now don't get me wrong, Band has actually played a part in more than one movie I've genuinely enjoyed. Probably more than I want to admit to be honest. But by 1999 he was rather in autopilot, and truth be told I was surprised he managed a movie without killer toys.
Now the film has a lot of the hallmarks of the worst Full Moon movies, bad acting, worse scripts, a soundtrack that's rather overblown, but it's not without its positives. The spooky old mansion it's filmed in is actually very cool and atmospheric, and as much as I hate the demonic design the effects are largely passable to good, particularly for a movie on this budget. There's one laughably silly part where we see a shot of Lillith's feet hovering that's quite clearly just a pair of empty boots being suspended from above, but I can deal with that.
There are problems though. I can live with the plot that I think can be guessed from start to finish from reading the synopsis, but even within the confines of the genre, there's disappointment here. The deaths/possessions are neither scary nor gory, so that's your 2 key horror demographics disappointed, and the big 'twist' doesn't end up making a lick of sense.
To cap it off, this is painfully late 90s. Nobody gets into a movie like this expecting anything but cardboard cutout character tropes, and to be honest the jock and cheerleader don't bother me. The 90s stoner archetype and his mouthy rock chick girlfriend, who carries a guitar everywhere, are cinematic torture though. The geeky protagonist saving the day and having hilariously awkward interaction with his first love interest is something Full Moon would become briefly obsessed with around this point, which, given this is always the protagonist, says a lot about what they viewed as their target audience.
These characters aren't really helped by the actors, but in all honesty the script doesn't give them much room to succeed. Mueller, who would go on to more notoriety as a wife of Charlie Sheen and friend of Paris Hilton, is probably the worst, but her dialog is so awful I'm not sure who is really to blame. I was disappointed we didn't get more of McKinney, not just because she's beautiful, but because the character is so undercooked. We're told she's been a nice girl, just weird, but from the first minute we know she's up to no good so there's no character development. Mainly because she's beautiful though.
When it comes down to it, I imagine Full Moon fans still with the company by 1999 will probably lap it up, but for everyone else this is one you can avoid. I might still watch the sequels, because I'm just a glutton for punishment.