I love to watch a movie about cans that eat men rather than this one. It's not bog-standard; it's abomination. And the reasons why are many..
The plot: Seriously, how many times did you see that plot before? They should have called it "I Know What You Did Last Scream"! And to make it worse, there is no renewal whatsoever. Even the wrong points are the same; like the weakness of the killer's motive. One of the parody's definitions is "any cultural production which provides a relatively polemical allusive imitation of another cultural production". Accordingly, this is not a horror, this is a parody, yet - Oh God - without laughing (see the horror of it!).
The characterization: At the start, I thought that this is about diverse characters in one hot situation, but they were all the same, all along. Moreover, did you notice how all the lead actresses show their deepest fears while someone removes a shower's curtain, nevertheless they don't ever blink while seeing a new murdered boy or girl?! Ok, this is smart, as long as we're talking about a comedy for sure!
The cast: Charisma got nothing to do with these guys. And hideous is what comes to my mind to describe their performances!
The bore: At the first half, I was saying to myself: "I saw all of this before". At the second half, I was saying: "When I'll not see all of this again?". The thing is this movie lengthens itself, especially in the second half, in incredibly idiot, never-ending, ways. Try to believe that, while the house's sequence near the end, I found myself asking: "Would I live long enough to see this movie's end?!".
The idiocy: If you think about the whole sequence of the house, you'll hate this movie, their makers, along with yourself. For instance, all hell breaks loose, one boy is slain, and one girl is killed by electricity, though there are 2 girls and a boy who didn't hear a thing?! The head of the sorority, played by (Carrie Fisher), didn't pay attention to all of this bloody clamor which was going on for long, unless very very late?! While the killer is finally killed, he falls right in the basement to see that it's on fire too (how come?!). And if you just shut down your brain, and surrendered to this movie as a brainless fun, then could you point out to me; WHERE IS SUCH FUN IN THE FIRST PLACE?!
The nudity: It is - as always - shocking, inhumanly cheap, mirrors the slave trader part in Hollywood, and warns of the materialistic civilization's end!
The substance: It has no case to discuss, issue to bring up, or idea to present. Ok, so it's another horror, with sex and violence. But after years and years of experiencing this kind of movies, I'm madly asking: what could be the great benefit out of watching sex and violence?! I became irreversibly convinced that there are a zillion other messages that deserve to be delivered more than these ultra-sleazy, super abundant, goods of which make the producers happy, the human's beastly side happy, but not the human's spiritual side. It's the deplorable trade which could partly explain why today's human became senseless and soulless!
The so-called surprising last shot: I was between "Huh?" and "Hahahahahaaaaaa"!
So what could be right and watchable? Well, director (Stewart Hendler) embodied tension visually good in some moments. This worked with using more than one camera to shoot the dialogues, shaking the cameras in rarely into the point and no exaggerated way, plus using the flames' reflections on the cast's faces during the end; which was - unexpectedly - artistic. And the lines proved a little bit of efficiency like "When I buy a book, I read the last page, because I don't like surprises".
Along with (Sorority Row), 2009 had a long list of horror remakes like: (Friday the 13th), (The Stepfather), (My Bloody Valentine), (Don't Look in the Basement!), (The Last House on the Left).. Grrrr, they don't even name them differently! It's not about the grossness of the remakes, sequels, prequels, spin-offs in the American cinema lately; it's about them being nearly the same well-worn movie. To tell you the truth, (Sorority Row) isn't a remake of (The House on Sorority Row - 1983), inasmuch as a remake of any easy slasher out there, with nothing different or amusing, to eventually be a perfect example of a movie without originality or entertainment, and the real tragedy is.. this could apply for a large portion of the American production today!
(Sorority Row) is repeated, predicable, stupid, endless, and pointless emptiness. I was imagining (Tim Burton), (Oliver Stone), or even (Quentin Tarantino) doing the same stuff; it would have been at least less cheesy, and more interesting. But No. Hollywood simply insists on recycling vomit, time after time, effortlessly. At one point in the movie, a girl who recently threw up, asks a boy to kiss her, and he loathes her; doesn't this remind you of something?! For me, his reaction powerfully reminds me with myself while the viewing!
.. Cans that eat men is definitely better; at least it's new!
The plot: Seriously, how many times did you see that plot before? They should have called it "I Know What You Did Last Scream"! And to make it worse, there is no renewal whatsoever. Even the wrong points are the same; like the weakness of the killer's motive. One of the parody's definitions is "any cultural production which provides a relatively polemical allusive imitation of another cultural production". Accordingly, this is not a horror, this is a parody, yet - Oh God - without laughing (see the horror of it!).
The characterization: At the start, I thought that this is about diverse characters in one hot situation, but they were all the same, all along. Moreover, did you notice how all the lead actresses show their deepest fears while someone removes a shower's curtain, nevertheless they don't ever blink while seeing a new murdered boy or girl?! Ok, this is smart, as long as we're talking about a comedy for sure!
The cast: Charisma got nothing to do with these guys. And hideous is what comes to my mind to describe their performances!
The bore: At the first half, I was saying to myself: "I saw all of this before". At the second half, I was saying: "When I'll not see all of this again?". The thing is this movie lengthens itself, especially in the second half, in incredibly idiot, never-ending, ways. Try to believe that, while the house's sequence near the end, I found myself asking: "Would I live long enough to see this movie's end?!".
The idiocy: If you think about the whole sequence of the house, you'll hate this movie, their makers, along with yourself. For instance, all hell breaks loose, one boy is slain, and one girl is killed by electricity, though there are 2 girls and a boy who didn't hear a thing?! The head of the sorority, played by (Carrie Fisher), didn't pay attention to all of this bloody clamor which was going on for long, unless very very late?! While the killer is finally killed, he falls right in the basement to see that it's on fire too (how come?!). And if you just shut down your brain, and surrendered to this movie as a brainless fun, then could you point out to me; WHERE IS SUCH FUN IN THE FIRST PLACE?!
The nudity: It is - as always - shocking, inhumanly cheap, mirrors the slave trader part in Hollywood, and warns of the materialistic civilization's end!
The substance: It has no case to discuss, issue to bring up, or idea to present. Ok, so it's another horror, with sex and violence. But after years and years of experiencing this kind of movies, I'm madly asking: what could be the great benefit out of watching sex and violence?! I became irreversibly convinced that there are a zillion other messages that deserve to be delivered more than these ultra-sleazy, super abundant, goods of which make the producers happy, the human's beastly side happy, but not the human's spiritual side. It's the deplorable trade which could partly explain why today's human became senseless and soulless!
The so-called surprising last shot: I was between "Huh?" and "Hahahahahaaaaaa"!
So what could be right and watchable? Well, director (Stewart Hendler) embodied tension visually good in some moments. This worked with using more than one camera to shoot the dialogues, shaking the cameras in rarely into the point and no exaggerated way, plus using the flames' reflections on the cast's faces during the end; which was - unexpectedly - artistic. And the lines proved a little bit of efficiency like "When I buy a book, I read the last page, because I don't like surprises".
Along with (Sorority Row), 2009 had a long list of horror remakes like: (Friday the 13th), (The Stepfather), (My Bloody Valentine), (Don't Look in the Basement!), (The Last House on the Left).. Grrrr, they don't even name them differently! It's not about the grossness of the remakes, sequels, prequels, spin-offs in the American cinema lately; it's about them being nearly the same well-worn movie. To tell you the truth, (Sorority Row) isn't a remake of (The House on Sorority Row - 1983), inasmuch as a remake of any easy slasher out there, with nothing different or amusing, to eventually be a perfect example of a movie without originality or entertainment, and the real tragedy is.. this could apply for a large portion of the American production today!
(Sorority Row) is repeated, predicable, stupid, endless, and pointless emptiness. I was imagining (Tim Burton), (Oliver Stone), or even (Quentin Tarantino) doing the same stuff; it would have been at least less cheesy, and more interesting. But No. Hollywood simply insists on recycling vomit, time after time, effortlessly. At one point in the movie, a girl who recently threw up, asks a boy to kiss her, and he loathes her; doesn't this remind you of something?! For me, his reaction powerfully reminds me with myself while the viewing!
.. Cans that eat men is definitely better; at least it's new!