Black Plague (2002 Video)
4/10
"I never knew a sickness to be so eloquent!"
23 October 2022
Don't let the sexy video title get your hopes up, the famous plague is only mentioned in passing. But Lena Headey cuts a handsome figure in period dress and a chastity belt kowtowing to a sweaty-faced Iain MacNeice as a patriarch resembling Jabbah the Hutt proudly flourishing his huge collection of medieval porn.

Extremely contemporary swearing is used along with a smattering of French and archaic expressions like "Let's see you smirking with a noose around your neck", while the viewer is regaled with copious quantities of gore and sights like limbs breaking off, lots of bad teeth and flesh covered in pustules, and a character with a false nose who declares that "If the Lord was good enough to put a hole in my face who am I not to use it?"

The use of slow motion already looks dated and the cast all take it all a lot more seriously than you probably will.
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