Crazy Nights (1978)
8/10
Kind of pointless, yet I couldn't look away
7 August 2022
Story goes, host(ess) Amanda Lear had no idea she was essentially making a porn movie. I get it. Seems to me like this whole thing's a hoax. Amanda bookends the movie with two, uh, "hit" disco numbers (in English), and primarily the rest of the film is dubbed. What is she actually introducing? I guess that's up for debate, unless you can read lips in Italian.

This movie takes you "around the world" (via panning stock footage) for a good deal of naked people dancing to disco in front of a small audience. I can only assume this was all filmed in Italy by smut-meister Joe D'Amato. We go to Japan, where there is no one Japanese. Brazil, no Brazillians. South Africa, where two black dancers perform for a very white audience. You get the idea.

First thing, Lear announces she is rather shy and conservative, then dresses in a very provocative outfit for her opening number. Same goes for her other, uh, "provocative" disco number, where she arrives on a wimpy Honda 250, in a skintight outfit with boots up to her thighs. The ceaseless disco beats really add to the mood of this showcase from around the world! Lots and lots of people (both men and women) get naked and gyrate in front of a small, and always appreciative crowd.

Oh, they throw in some other interesting nuggets (mostly faked, though this IS D'Amato). It gets pretty amusing. There are a few instances where they showcase some (rather fake) magic, my favorite being the vertically challenged magician who pulls everything but the kitchen sink out of his assistant's vagina. The German sadomasocism gets real interesting, that's a highlight. Two ballerinas from Stockholm are introduced, and two women strip and gyrate to disco music. Then the lesbianism. Ah, the lesbianism (faked). Oh, another "magician" is a naked woman, twirling to disco music (naturally), has the ability to levitate objects. What a great sequence. She lifts a toupee off a guy's head, clearly with fishing line, brings a guy on stage, magically drops his pants, and gets a "rise" out of him(!) Then she brings up an elderly man, where, well I guess that one's left to your imagination (guy's real happy, assuming it was a miracle!). Alright, I'm through spoiling this. You must see for yourself, that is, if you like your movies bewildering and sleazy.
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