Paint Drying (2016)
10/10
Life-changing
20 July 2022
Warning: Spoilers
I will admit, I initially did not have high hopes for Paint Drying. I expected that, like so many movies of the modern age, it would be yet another formulaic cookie-cutter movie following the same structure and same plot as all the rest, designed to appeal to the masses and nothing more, prioritising marketability and popularity over character development and artistry. I am glad to say that I have never been more wrong.

From the moment I sat down to watch this movie, I knew it was something special. The opening caught my attention in a way that few movies ever have, and I was hooked from the very first second. From there, I was taken on a journey unlike any other. I felt the epic highs and lows of the paint drying, and found myself utterly immersed in every frame. It was exquisitely detailed, beautifully filmed, and, I confess, highly emotionally charged, bringing a tear to my eye once or twice as I realised the sheer splendour of a life so different to my own. Indeed, I found myself beginning to empathise with both paint and wall as the film began to broaden my mind and open me up to new perspectives and mindsets.

Prior to being edited, the Wikipedia article for this movie summarised the plot in two simple words: 'it dries.' But I think that anyone who's seen this movie can agree that it does much more than that. It begins; it ends. It laughs, it cries. It lives, it dies. It starts off wet, and then, yes, it dries. And yet it is not the drying of the paint but how we got there; the highs and lows of the process, a process which we, too, have undergone, as we become part of it and make the journey with it.

I can say very assuredly that this film changed my life. For that reason, it is not for the faint of heart or weak of conviction. If you cannot handle your worldview being questioned and reshaped by what may be the most transformative work since the 1996 Doctor Who TV Movie, this is not for you. Feel free to save yourself some time and watch Avengers: Endgame, and leave with your perceptions unaltered and your mind pleasantly blank, silent but for the sound a single potato makes as it rotates in a microwave (the potato in this case is your brain). But for those of us who wish to break free from the needless convention of society, those who seek individuality, truth, and meaning, I cannot recommend this film enough. Since its release, I have been using this film to weed out potential romantic partners by seeing who was able to make the commitment of watching it in one full sitting; only one man could, and we will celebrate our 15th anniversary on Saturday (note: we are aware that the movie was only released 6 years ago, and as such it is implausible that we've been married for 15 years, but, thanks to its incredible power of changing perspectives, multiple consecutive viewings have allowed us both to break free from the bindings of linear time; yet another reason to watch the movie). It was masterfully executed, and, should the director wish to release a sequel, he would have my full support and endorsement.
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