Escape Earth (2021)
2/10
You won't survive
7 November 2021
A guy buys a video camera at a yard sale and convinces his wife to film him wandering around in the woods while he plays army. She keeps yelling at him to act, so all the dialog has to be overdubbed with music. That night they learn a movie is supposed to have a plot. In a flash of brilliance after their second bottle of wine they splice in a few photos of a kid and release their masterpiece on Amazon.

It's dreadfully dull and inexcusably poorly costumed. A man ostensibly surviving in the wilds is freshly shaven, beard trimmed, hair combed, clean, wearing new clothes and boots. The only concession to roughing it is a little mud at the knees. There is no action, no plot, no story, no character development. The only thing we know about the guy is he's extremely violent and not very capable in the wilds.

Two stars for keeping it short. Though at 71 minutes I'd argue it could still be cut by 40. The description says the guy is reuniting with his daughter. Whoever wrote that must have gotten it from the director, because the film never explains how they got separated, how he knew where she was, where he was coming from, or why everyone was trying to stop him. Two stars.
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