Review of Girl Next

Girl Next (2021)
1/10
More fake reviews than I've ever seen
16 October 2021
Warning: Spoilers
I am 100% convinced that everyone writing something positive about this movie helped make it, or are friends and family. I have never seen such an inflated score on IMDb. 6.2??? There is no way. Funny how those reviewers have all joined the site in the last couple weeks or so. This is absolute trash in every way. Not entertaining trash--boring, overlong, and poorly done. From the first shots, I knew something was off because of how cheap looking it was. I stuck with it because I thought a movie rated this high must have a good story making up for the low budget limitations. After all, the average horror movie doesn't get that kind of score. None of the positives that have been ascribed by these reviewers are remotely true: it does not have a sense of realism, it is not comparable to any of the well-made, well-regarded films they mention, it will not change anything in horror moviemaking, and it does not have a message worth discussing. On top of all that, you get THE WORST acting performance since Deborah Reed in Troll 2--no exaggeration. The actress playing Charlotte does the worst grown-woman-trying-to-do-little girl-mannerisms, complete with inept speech impediment, then jumps to an amateur British accent for the final act. I've watched some crap in my time, but at least I knew it going in. That said, I wouldn't tell horror fans to skip it completely--just know that it is weak on story and never rises above the average bargain-bin toss off.
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