6/10
No Mister Bond, I expect you to end
13 October 2021
No Time To Die is visceral, well-crafted... but also overlong and self-indulgent. Craig is solid as usual (and gets more witty lines this time around) but the real star is director Fukunaga: this is one of the best-looking Bond movies ever in terms of atmosphere, shot composition, color palette, and so on.

Gorgeous, adorable Ana de Armas continues her journey to super-stardom, here in the (sadly) tiny role of Bond girl Paloma, whose scenes have a sense of fun most of the film is lacking.

In fact, I wish Bond had dumped weepy drama queen Madeleine for Paloma. No disrespect to Seydoux, who is fine, but her character exemplifies my pet peeve about Craig's Bond era: every element needs to be overly emotional, with a tragic backstory and a crucial impact on Bond. It seems Craig's Bond can't go to the bathroom without meeting the love of his life or making a life-changing decision. Just give me Connery shooting a bad guy with a pen gun and a cheesy one-liner.

And YES, I've read the Fleming novels and I know the first, quip-delivering movie Bond was not an accurate representation either, but this is too far on the other end of the spectrum. It seems Craig's Bond can't have an "ordinary" mission and a casual relationship, everything has to come with three spoonfuls of drama. I'm almost thankful this era is over, so that I never have to see Bond soulfully ruminating over Vesper Lynd ever again. James, dude, we all have a crush on Eva Green, but enough is enough.

My biggest problem with No Time To Die? It's bloated. My heart sank when, two hours into the movie, I realized we were still in the second act (which has to be the longest and slowest of any Bond film) and there were still 45 minutes to go. No Bond movie should have a running length nearly equal to The Thin Red Line.

6/10.
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