Segment One: I'm digging it. Something about a lizard monster had been mentioned but that's ridiculous so that was obviously a misdirection..right? Ambitious reporter and her camera man venture deep into a creepy storm drain with a new story in mind. It's getting tense. Oh no...the lizard was real and he's..a demon God? Or something. Ok.
Segment 2: Something is thumping around in a coffin. Let's flicker some lights and fail to build tension. OK, here ya go. He only has half a head. Crazy, right?
Segment 3: Nice work. Not as good as your cult story in the 2nd one but better than anything in this.
Segment 4: Nope. Not 100% sure what the idea was but 100% sure it sucked.
The wraparound: Often in life, less is more. For example, a half naked undead man sitting in a recliner or a woman watching tapes in an not-so-empty house. Simple. Effective. Unsettling. 8 awful actors running around a very elaborately decorated warehouse and a twist ending that none of us deserved. Complicated. Eye-rolling. I hate you.
I'd like to apologize to VHS Viral and all the mean things I said about you. While you still suck, you don't seem to suck nearly as much today as you did yesterday.
If Halloween Kills or the new Paranormal Activity pull a VHS 94 on me, I'm switching to romantic comedies from now on. This is bad for my mental health.
Segment 2: Something is thumping around in a coffin. Let's flicker some lights and fail to build tension. OK, here ya go. He only has half a head. Crazy, right?
Segment 3: Nice work. Not as good as your cult story in the 2nd one but better than anything in this.
Segment 4: Nope. Not 100% sure what the idea was but 100% sure it sucked.
The wraparound: Often in life, less is more. For example, a half naked undead man sitting in a recliner or a woman watching tapes in an not-so-empty house. Simple. Effective. Unsettling. 8 awful actors running around a very elaborately decorated warehouse and a twist ending that none of us deserved. Complicated. Eye-rolling. I hate you.
I'd like to apologize to VHS Viral and all the mean things I said about you. While you still suck, you don't seem to suck nearly as much today as you did yesterday.
If Halloween Kills or the new Paranormal Activity pull a VHS 94 on me, I'm switching to romantic comedies from now on. This is bad for my mental health.