What is there to say, really, other than 'oof'?
With dialogue so wooden you could chuck it on the fire to keep you warm in winter, and an abundance of stock footage of women appearing to be posing for the 'gram to pad runtime, it's pretty obvious early on what kind of mess you're settling in to watch.
The shark, they say (repeatedly), is 'ten times bigger than any ever seen!' Close to 60ft, apparently. Which makes it truly a sight to behold, given it never looks larger than a boston terrier while in the water, and is able to stalk people on land from several inches of water in the shallows.
At one point a man is used as bait to lure in the shark. What manner of cunning trap keeps him prone and vulnerable, you ask? Loose bondage rope around one wrist, pegged half-heartedly into the soft sediment in the shallows - so shallow only his hand and wrist are even in the water. Diabolical!
This is a trainwreck, but be honest: that's why we're here, right?
With dialogue so wooden you could chuck it on the fire to keep you warm in winter, and an abundance of stock footage of women appearing to be posing for the 'gram to pad runtime, it's pretty obvious early on what kind of mess you're settling in to watch.
The shark, they say (repeatedly), is 'ten times bigger than any ever seen!' Close to 60ft, apparently. Which makes it truly a sight to behold, given it never looks larger than a boston terrier while in the water, and is able to stalk people on land from several inches of water in the shallows.
At one point a man is used as bait to lure in the shark. What manner of cunning trap keeps him prone and vulnerable, you ask? Loose bondage rope around one wrist, pegged half-heartedly into the soft sediment in the shallows - so shallow only his hand and wrist are even in the water. Diabolical!
This is a trainwreck, but be honest: that's why we're here, right?