7/10
As rough as it gets!
21 May 2021
Warning: Spoilers
Not to be confused with Emanuelle and the Erotic Nights - that's the safer one - this film finds Joe D'Amato and Bruno Mattei at the helm, starting things off with Laura Gemser appearing as Emanuelle with one m, saying, "It's your old friend Emanuelle again..." before taking us on a journey.

Also known as Sexy Night Report, there's a 70-minute edited version of this movie that's still pretty rough. But man, the unedited one? You need to wash your eyes with fire after watching it.

Sure, this being a mondo means most of the footage is faked. A good portion of this one is beyond fake, with scenes like a man in an ape costume "performs" with an exotic dancer and another where an Amsterdam red light girl shows off for a crowd before choosing a man from the window watchers, leaving his wife outside. Then, the movie descends into what I can only imagine Sodom and Gomorrah looked like to Lot's wife before she was turned into seasoning.

Yes, in case you wondered if you were still watching a mondo, we have chickens get their heads cut off, rituals in foreign countries, ping pong balls being launched out of a special place, a magic trick that turns someone into a hermaphrodite and, of course, a man's member being chopped off again and again, as the scene is replayed from every angle, looking faker and faker each time.

It's like Mattei - Jimmy Matheus! - and D'Amato - uncredited! - were thinking, "We've shown these raincoaters naked women for the last ninety minutes or so. Let's show them a pisello get sliced off and then someone get their head cut off to remind them that who we are."

We get it, Bruno and Joe. Or Vincent Dawn and Aristide Massaccesi. Or David Hunt and David Hills.

Marina Hedmann - speaking of extra names, she was also known as Marina Lotar, Marion Bibbo, Bellis Marina Hedman and many, many more - from Emanuelle in America, La Pretora, Play Motel and plenty of adult films (she was one of the first Italian actresses to appear in porn) appears.

If this looks way better than it should, despite being shot all in the same room even though they claim it's all over the world, that's because Enrico Biribicchi shot it. He lent his skills to plenty socially unredeeming movies, including The Return of the Exorcist, Emanuelle in America, Emanuelle and the Last Cannibals, Buio Omega, Erotic Nights of the Living Dead and Porno Holocaust. He was also the cinematographer for Antropophagus.

This being a Mattei movie, rest assured that plenty of recycled footage appears. There's some stuff from several Erwin C. Dietrich movies, some of Jess Franco's Mondo Erotico and even stuff from D'Amato's Eva Nera*.

Notti Porno nel Mondo is absolutely ridiculous, a movie that I would never recommend to anyone but absolute maniacs with no taste whatsoever. If you read this far, that's probably you.

*Thanks to Adrian on Letterboxd for figuring out where those scenes came from.
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