What an awful, awful film. Would give it zero stars if I could. It's so odd because I saw some reviewers saying this film was Cinéma Vérité, when, in actuality, it is an OBJECTIVELY bad film. There are so many issues with this movie, where to begin. For one, it feels like it has nothing to say. A film without allegory can work if it has good comedy, but the jokes in this movie fell flat. Just like the people I punched after the screening I saw. This whole movie could have worked much better if they just got one auteur to run the project, without that, the film feels visionless. If one filmmaker was behind it from the start, issues like its tonal consistency, Mise-en-scène, uncoordinated Chiaroscuro and the lack of a final Denouement to end the film would be non-existent. And a comic relief could have helped with the horribly depressing tone the film was going for. Also, what was this movie's audience? Was it a comedy? No, the jokes are super dull. Was it a coming of age tale? No, because the only tail in this movie is the horse's, who, by the way, is WAY overdoing it. Was it an action movie? NO! This movie was so boring!
And with that, let's talk about the biggest issue, the structure. It seems like the script was chocked out in one day and with one draft, with no planning. Like a white boy who watches doctor who, I have the right to scream about how I think it could be better. First off, build up to the start. Show the man preparing, give us a good 30-40 minutes to prepare for the run. Build up the stakes, say that he will be homeless if he doesn't win. Maybe show a rival jockey drugging the horse without him knowing. Really, and I mean REALLY, develop the horse's character through his acid trip. Without all of that, we just start the movie with him in the race, dumb! The second act should have been a bit of the race, but unlike the movie, keep it short and sweet. I'll admit, it was pretty compelling the first few frames, but it just got repetitive and boring. It would be great to have this minimalist story, along the way they face challenges and meet enemies, but slowly start to realize that they might not make it out alive in the end. Then, have the horse trip and fall and be flung out of the stadium. This brings us to the final act, wherein we reveal that they were on another planet the whole time. And now the mecha robot pirates with the biggest spaceship ever will have a bomb that will destroy the universe in 15 minutes and our horse racer must stop it by pressing a big red button. Have the horse realize that his rider was actually the leader was actually part of the mecha robot pirates with the biggest spaceship ever will have a bomb that will destroy the universe in 15 minutes the whole time. The horse must ask if he was secretly part of the mecha robot pirates with the biggest spaceship ever will have a bomb that will destroy the universe in 15 minutes too! After time travel shenanigans, they press the button, but it doesn't work. Everything blows up and the screen goes black. Then, the horse wakes up from his acid trip.
I T W A S A D R E A M T H E W H O L E T I M E !
End the movie with the beginning of the race, and hint that maybe it was just the universe resetting and it wasn't a dream as the final shot is of him beginning to ride and we cut to credits. Then, after the credits, we see that before the race, they see a portal open up and future versions of themselves step out and say that they are clones of themselves mixed with Rick and Morty DNA from an alternate reality possessed by demonic alien spirits from another dimension's future, and they need their help. Title card: "A Horse in Motion will return... or will it!!!!" THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO COOL. 0/10, being the first movie isn't an excuse for OBJECTIVELY bad filmmaking, wasted potential!
And with that, let's talk about the biggest issue, the structure. It seems like the script was chocked out in one day and with one draft, with no planning. Like a white boy who watches doctor who, I have the right to scream about how I think it could be better. First off, build up to the start. Show the man preparing, give us a good 30-40 minutes to prepare for the run. Build up the stakes, say that he will be homeless if he doesn't win. Maybe show a rival jockey drugging the horse without him knowing. Really, and I mean REALLY, develop the horse's character through his acid trip. Without all of that, we just start the movie with him in the race, dumb! The second act should have been a bit of the race, but unlike the movie, keep it short and sweet. I'll admit, it was pretty compelling the first few frames, but it just got repetitive and boring. It would be great to have this minimalist story, along the way they face challenges and meet enemies, but slowly start to realize that they might not make it out alive in the end. Then, have the horse trip and fall and be flung out of the stadium. This brings us to the final act, wherein we reveal that they were on another planet the whole time. And now the mecha robot pirates with the biggest spaceship ever will have a bomb that will destroy the universe in 15 minutes and our horse racer must stop it by pressing a big red button. Have the horse realize that his rider was actually the leader was actually part of the mecha robot pirates with the biggest spaceship ever will have a bomb that will destroy the universe in 15 minutes the whole time. The horse must ask if he was secretly part of the mecha robot pirates with the biggest spaceship ever will have a bomb that will destroy the universe in 15 minutes too! After time travel shenanigans, they press the button, but it doesn't work. Everything blows up and the screen goes black. Then, the horse wakes up from his acid trip.
I T W A S A D R E A M T H E W H O L E T I M E !
End the movie with the beginning of the race, and hint that maybe it was just the universe resetting and it wasn't a dream as the final shot is of him beginning to ride and we cut to credits. Then, after the credits, we see that before the race, they see a portal open up and future versions of themselves step out and say that they are clones of themselves mixed with Rick and Morty DNA from an alternate reality possessed by demonic alien spirits from another dimension's future, and they need their help. Title card: "A Horse in Motion will return... or will it!!!!" THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO COOL. 0/10, being the first movie isn't an excuse for OBJECTIVELY bad filmmaking, wasted potential!